nit Page 218 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jozy Altidore Stretchered Off With Apparent Hamstring Injury
The glee that followed Clint Dempsey's opening goal turned sour early in the U.S. match against Ghana as striker Jozy Altidore pulled up and was eventually taken off the pitch on a stretcher after suffering what looks like a serious hamstring injury....
Helpful Advice From Gabe Kapler: Jerk Off With Coconut Oil
Former MLB outfielder and current Fox Sports 1 talking head Gabe Kapler is a man who possesses a lot of knowledge on how to live a healthy lifestyle, knowledge which he often dispenses on his personal blog, Kaplifestyle.com. A recent post about the many uses for coconut oil contains some of Kapler's...
Can You Guess Which Country Americans Picked To Win The World Cup?
In a World Cup poll, Americans picked their own country to win it all, because of course they did....
Robert Duvall: An American Hero, Or At Least An American Man
Careening down the road behind the wheel of a sturdy old Cadillac, Robert Duvall makes his intent clear: "I want some singin' and dancin'. And a woman. I want me a woman." With little more than a sharp tongue, pink and frequently squirming loose in anticipation, the weather-beaten octogenarian bulli...
The Land Of The Free, And The Home Of Fried Chicken
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League 1 Play-Off Final Equalizer "Best Goal New Wembley Has Seen"
Alex Revell's 35-yard swooping goal brought Rotherham United back equal with Leyton Orient in today's League 1 play-off final at Wembley in a feat BBC called the greatest goal that venue has ever seen....
David Moyes Apparently Got In A Bar Fight
In what must be a classic example of taking your problems out on the wrong people, former Manchester United manager David Moyes is accused of assaulting a man at a bar last night....
The Dogs Of War
The latest from Michael Paterniti is strong stuff:...
Man United Hire New Manager, Already Expect To Win Premier League
It's not even next season yet and we've already got the first lolunited post of the '14-'15 campaign. New Manchester United ship captain Louis van Gaal has officially been christened, and in lieu of smacking him across the head with a champagne bottle, they've promised him £150M, with an expectation...
The 2013-14 Premier League Season Was Well And Truly Fucking Awesome
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. There was pessimism, hope, and ultimately failure. There was schadenfreude; oh, was there schadenfreude. There were also huge games, mesmerizing goals, and more twists in the title race than a M. Night Shyamalan movie (but actually good). To cap o...
Hooligan Invades Pitch, Throws Pathetic Punch At Player
After a game between Zenit St. Petersburg and Dinamo Moscow, a Zenit fan rushed the field and attempted to sucker punch Dinamo defender Vladimir Granat. He didn't really succeed....
Manchester United Sacks Sad Sack David Moyes After Disastrous Campaign
It's official! Sad David Moyes has been fired by sad Manchester United, just one year into a six-year contract. While Moyes had avoided the ax a couple times this season, the sacking isn't at all surprising given a nightmarish campaign that has resulted in United's worst ever Premier League season a...
Reports: David Moyes To Be Sacked Any Day Now; A Gallery Of Moyesface
Oh, Moyesy. It appears our season of schadenfreude will soon be coming to a premature end, with reports practically everywhere saying "The Chosen One" is about to become "The Sacked One."...
Why Paternity Leave Is Important, Even Though You’ll Hate It
Every few years, there's a big Hot Sports Take orgy because a pro athlete decided to skip a game for a birth and/or paternity leave. This year, it was Daniel Murphy's turn in the barrel, getting dumped on by Boomer Esiason and Mike Francesa after skipping two games after his kid was born. Esiason h...
Sad Man United Score Great Goal, Then Get Pounded In Champions League
So...the gig's up. Manchester United, who have played like absolute dog shit all season long, almost definitely won't play in the Champions League next season. After drawing defending CL champions FC Bayern last week in the first leg of their quarterfinal, they needed to avoid a loss in Germany to a...
Israeli Basketball Is Kind Of Insane
This is what happened at the close of last night's chapter of Israel's biggest rivalry, Maccabi Tel Aviv and Hapoel Tel Aviv. After a close away win for Maccabi, center Sofoklis Schortsanitis—a former Clippers draft pick—charged into a hostile crowd to try to beat up a Hapoel fan. You can see the fa...
Brendon Ayanbadejo Implies Miami Traded Him For Taking Paternity Leave
The fuss about Daniel Murphy missing two games to be there for the birth of his son seemed like a total nontroversy—the Mets were OK with it, and their fans were OK with it. (Seriously. It's two games. And Daniel Murphy. And the 2014 Mets.) The only people upset were New York radio hosts. But the de...
We Can't Say We Disagree
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