no Page 5131 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Chelsea! Man U! Dental Hygiene!
A thrilling 1-0 game between the clubs atop the table is no reason for this Chelsea supporter to forget to brush his teeth mid-match. [Off The Post]...

Ochocinco Is Straight Cash
Why would a football player carry singles in their uniform pants? Heading to the strip club after the game? Buying off the refs? Or just throwing a little cheddar the Ravens' offense's way after having their way with them?...

Your Late Games Open Thread
No one disputes Dan Snyder's lack of football acumen, but John Riggins goes so far as to call him "a bad guy." While maybe not a war criminal, the Skins' season ought to be called the new Trail of Tears....

Nick Swisher Is A 12-Year-Old Fangirl
As the Yankees cleaned out their lockers, "Nick Swisher's teammate photo collage, snipped from Yankees gameday programs and newspaper back pages, remained affixed to his locker." [MLB.com]...

Ever Dream Of Shaq? You're Not Alone
In the grand tradition of experimental Dirk Nowitzki fiction, we bring you something we can't explain. Student art project? Ramblings of a madman? Signs of the impending Ashaqalypse? Check your sanity at the door....

San Diego Horndoggery Day Continues
Chris Chambers was released due to the Chargers concerns about his personal life: namely, some Fatal Attraction level stalking. He's got a restraining order out on his ex-girlfriend, after she sent "lurid" text messages to his wife. [SD Union-Tribune]...

SDSU AD Gets His Mack On, At School Expense
Jeff Schemmel is under fire for traveling for trysts with a married woman, while expensing the trips to San Diego State. That's gotta be some kind of recruiting violation....

Your Early Games Open Thread
It's Cardinals vs. Bears in the match-up of teams we try to talk ourselves into believing are good. But they're not. Meanwhile, thankfully, the Skins game has been confined to the Zaxby's region of the country. [The506]...

It's Just Like "Never Been Kissed," With More Statutory Rape
We've all wished at one point or another that we could relive our high school days. But when you pose as a high school student to get another crack at a basketball scholarship, try not to land an underage girlfriend....

Yankees Contribute To Corporate Malfeasance
The half-ton of recycled paper delivered to businesses in lower Manhattan wasn't enough, as some offices started chucking out sensitive financial documents. If the Yankees could have won last year, there would have been no need for a bailout. [WNYW]...

Jahvid Best In Surprisingly Good Shape (i.e. Alive, Moving)
Someone recently wrote (I can't for the life of me remember who) that there's nothing quite like the sound of an entire stadium sure they just watched someone die....

English Language 1, Washington Fans 0
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Everything You Need To Know About What It's Like To Do Color Analysis For Richmond Vs. Villanova
I'm sure when he says "bum" he means "hero" and when he says "end this fucking game" he means "what an exciting 4th quarter." [Bsmeddy You Tube]...

I Believe This Sums Up The Average Notre Dame Fan's Thoughts Quite Nicely
So, uh, Notre Dame lost to Navy today 23-21. The last time an unranked Navy team beat a ranked Notre Dame squad was 1936. The last time Navy beat the Fighting Irish twice in a row was 1961 and 1963....

So, The University Of Arizona Had An Undie Run...
Undie Runs on our nation's university campuses are occurring more and more often. That doesn't mean I'm not going to do a post about it. What do you mean this isn't about sports? There's sports at the University of Arizona....

Who Else Thinks This Guy's Favorite Cartoon Is 'Pinky And The Brain'?
If this guy were a shoplifter, would he refer to what he does as using the "four finger discount"? Seriously, I got nothing. Commenters, do your thing. [H/T DS reader Joe, many others]...

I Bet Rich Rodriguez Could Sure Use A Couple Of Boilermakers Right About Now
Michigan lost to Purdue 38-36 at the Big House, the first time to Purdue since 1966. The Wolverines have now lost three straight and five consecutive Big Ten games. Even worse? Rich Rod got punked at midfield after the game....

Finally, Kobe Bryant Accomplishes Something
By scoring 41 points last night, Bryant became the youngest player ever to reach 24,000 points. The commenter who best incorporates this into an anal sex joke gets a +1 or whatever is behind Door No. 3. [USA Today]...

Say What? Our Long, National Nightmare About A Major League Pitcher's Weed Possession Charge Is Already Over?
The attorney for Tim Lincecum has negotiated a settlement with prosecutors to settle the pitcher's marijuana misdemeanor charge by having Lincecum pay a $250 fine for possession of a pipe. The possession of marijuana charge will be dropped. Come again?...

Your Late Afternoon College Football Viewing Open Thread
Nothing wrong with that. Feel free to go beyond college football and discuss Sports in general. For instance, why did they start off the album with "Heart of Rock & Roll" instead of "Heart & Soul"? Stupid....