no Page 5154 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Kevin Durant Not A Fan Of Mildly Abstruse Basketball Metrics
Durant responds, via Twitter, to criticism of his oddly atrocious plus-minus rating: "love all the REAL basketball fans who appreciate hardwork, passion and love for the game..and not jus 'plus and minuses'...wateva dat is!" Somewhere, Joe Morgan nods. [Twitter, TrueHoop]...
Fire Up The Self-Pity Machine, IT’S BLACK SUNDAY!
And so it was that, come Monday morning, the denizens of New England awoke to a world covered in thick, black ash. A world that knew neither hope nor joy, but only self-involved douchiness....
When It's 8 A.M. And You Look Like This, You Might Be Close To Death
Football season is upon us, which means that thousands of angry, horny, feisty pretend fans will converge upon this great nation's red cup-littered parking lots to participate in traditional tailgating revelry. These are not those stories...
Staying Out Late, Sweating Make Anthony Kim A "Loose Cannon"
Anthony Kim was a key player in the U.S.'s President's Cup win this weekend, despite the fact that he didn't sleep much and doesn't really want to hang with Jim Fuyrk. The man is out of control!...
Gretzky Heads To Toronto In 46-Player Trade?
A new book claims former Leafs owner Harold Ballard once tried to trade his entire franchise to Edmonton. (He wanted to swap cities with the Oilers in exchange for $50 million.) Then Janet Jones would have married Darryl Sittler. [TorontoStar]...
Hannah Storm Once Rocked You Like A Hurricane
Forbes profiles ESPN's Hannah Storm. Of note: Her first broadcasting job was as a DJ at a heavy-metal radio station: "It was awesome. I would crank Quiet Riot, Van Halen and the Scorpions and just dance around the studio." [Forbes]...
Josh McDaniels Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Josh McDaniels, who won the weekend by proving that he's not a foolishly incompetent man-child. Yes, the bar was set pretty low....
Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Touching The Hem Of His Garment Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....
Great Moments In Ill-Considered Headlines
The Wall Street Journal commemorates the Red Sox sweep at the hands of the Angels with this doozy—"Boston Goes Down in a Fiery Crash." Wow, Nick Adenhart's memory was more inspiring than I thought. [WSJ]...
Someone Just Blew This Guy's Mind
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Sean Salisbury And The Infinite Sadness (UPDATE)
More bad news. It appears his home in Frisco, Texas is not in good shape according to these legal looking documents that suggest he's a little behind on his payments....
USA Wins FIFA!
Well, not really. But after a nailbiting 3-2 victory at Honduras, they are the first CONCACAF side to qualify for next summer's World Cup. Suck on that, Netherlands Antilles. [USSoccer.com]...
Cole Hamels Will Warp Your Mind
Take a good, long look at this "photo" atop Cole Hamels's official web site. Notice anything?...
Sorry For Not Hiring The Identical Twins (Yet)
Yes, yes, we know. Stop writing us about it. [NYTimes, third from last paragraph]...
When The Bands Are More Competitive Than The Football Teams
The epic Grambling State and Prairie View rivalry was taken to absurd new heights last week, as each team's marching band attempted to disrupt the other team's offense. Seriously, this is the most exciting story on SWAC football in years....
Paul Lo Duca Owes A Horse Pimp Money
The former catcher/current racing analyst is being sued for nearly half a million dollars for not ponying up the cash to breed his mare to superstud Storm Cat. You think you can just watch animals hump for free? [Thoroughbred Times]...
Oakland Should Be Prosecuted For Crimes Against Humanity
I know it's cruel to keep featuring the Raiders today, but it was cruel of CBS to put them on my television. And really, holy crap, JaMarcus....
Phil Cuzzi's Career Trajectory Not Exactly A String Of Successes
Phil Cuzzi was once fired as a minor league umpire, and later appealed to the league president while tending bar at a New Jersey hotel. Twins fans could still use a stiff drink. [Augusta Chronicle, via FanHouse]...
Your Late Games Open Thread
We should have some exciting games this afternoon, with none of the lines being more than a score. That is assuming you consider close games like Cleveland and Buffalo's 6-3 stinkbomb "exciting."...
Not To Mention The Radioactive Mutant Athletes
Hiroshima and Nagasaki are preparing a joint bid for the 2020 Olympics in the name of world peace. Well, it worked for Sarajevo. (Note: picture definitely not the Olympic Rings.[AP]...