no Page 5198 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Any Teams Named Yankees Or Red Sox Must Fight To The Death
Did you know that any team nicknamed the "Yankees" must, by law, engage in one beanball war and/or bat-swinging brawl each season with another team named the "Red Sox"? Even if that team is comprised of eight-year olds....
Why Your Team Sucks: Atlanta Falcons
Some people are fans of the Atlanta Falcons. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Atlanta Falcons. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Chipper Jones' Death Ranch Claims Another Victim
A illegal immigrant was found dead on the Texas property owned by the Larry Jones family. (It's eight miles from the Rio Grande and 124 degrees. Do the math.) Unrelated: The Braves have hired new hitting coach Anton Chigurh. [Journal-Constitution]...
"Fan Cans" Let You Chug For Alma Mater
Anheuser-Busch takes the problem of underage drinking very seriously, especially on campus, where binge drinking has become an epidemic. So to demonstrate their solidarity with college-age alcoholics, the company is now producing cans in your favorite school's colors!...
Boston Stands At Attention For Patriots' Opener
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Big Ben Hurt; You May Commence Panicking
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
If You Question This Lady's Ovaries, You're A Hatemonger
While it may be cruel to so publicly question Caster Semenya's gender, it's not a ridiculous question. But just keep in mind you're being racist. What?...
Today In Ill-Conceived Tie-Ins
Come to King's Dominion and ride the Intimidator 305, the world's only roller coaster named for and featuring Dale Earnhardt Sr. Watch out for sudden stops, though. [From The Marbles]...
Chad Ochocinco's Got This Placekicker Thing Down Pat
After his successful PAT: "'Esteban' Ochocinco is back. The most interesting footballer in the world. Everyone has to remember, I've always said that soccer is my No. 1 sport. I think Ronaldinho would be proud of me right now." [Globe]...
Favre's "Gunslinger" Rating In Madden Is Off The Charts
OK fanboys, fess up. When you heard a certain QB was joining the Vikings, the first thing you wondered was what his ratings in Madden will be. Here's your answer, plus Favre's ratings on a few hypothetical categories....
Shaq Gets First Career Steal
Everyone catch "Shaq Vs." the other night? No? The gist is, a professional athlete's pretty good at sports, especially when the incompetent teammates are openly throwing the game. But here's a shocker: Shaq stole the idea! Maybe....
Orioles Fan Overestimates His Five Tool Abilities
Quick poll question: When a guy runs on the field during a baseball game, do you root for the dude or security? Or do you just root for blood? Keep in mind, you're at an Orioles game....
But How Can He Talk To The Cops If His Jaw Is Broken?
The Raiders' assistant who was (allegedly) cracked by Tom Cable is now going to talk to the police, since he's determined that his career with the Raiders is probably now over. He's quick. [National Football Post]...
Father Chooses Alabama Football Player Over His Own Daughter In "Lovers' Quarrel"
Alabama sophomore Courtney Upshaw and his girlfriend were both arrested and charged with domestic violence/harassment last night—and the father of the girl is not happy. After all, it's completely his daughter's fault for picking on that poor linebacker....
Aural Secs: Bolt's 19.19 Explained With Music
How fast is 19.19? Gawker's Mike Byhoff used Sonic Youth to illustrate the latest record-shattering majesty of Usain Bolt's 200-meter gallop....
Jericho Scott Redux
"Some parents contend that a 13-year-old youth football player was kicked off his team because he's too good of a player." Sigh. [The Indy Channel, True/Slant]...
Dick's Conflicted Over Vick Jersey Sales
The popular sporting goods chain store is waiting to "evaluate the reaction of Eagle fans" before they put Vick #7 jerseys their racks. [Fox Philly via AnimalNY]...
NCAA Bans Improper Spreads And Jams
George Mason coach Jim Larranaga reports that NCAA rules allow him to provide free bagels to his players, but butter and cream cheese would be a violation. Now that's meshuggah! [Twitter, via Brooks]...
The Five-Star Columnist Is Unamused By Your Homophobic Taunts
Mike Lupica's ego is to sportswriting what Milton Berle's cock is to comedy. It is an occupational totem, around which colleagues spin fantastical-seeming yarns that just so happen to be true. Here are a few such tales....
Buccaneers' Aqib Talib Jumps On The Arrest Bandwagon
Is all this terrible legal trouble dissuading NFL players from punching people in the head? Not Tampa's Aqib Talib! Busted last night for simple battery and resisting arrest. What would be considered "complicated battery?"...