no Page 5287 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

It's Hard To Type A Column With One Hand
Robert Lunn is a former defensive tackle from UCONN. He graduated in 2008 and is now playing professional football - in Portchach, Austria. He's graciously shared some of the things he's experienced so far....

Terrell Owens Makes Buffalo Seem Like An Exciting Place To Live
Terrell Owens has been a Buffalo Bill for all of about six hours, but he's already the most beloved free agent acquisition in the history of football. Although to be fair....we are talking about Buffalo....

Adventures In Ill-Timed Column Topics
Chuck Woodling, Lawrence Journal World & News, May 16, 2009: "Wayman Tisdale always will be remembered as a bit player in one of the ugliest incidents in the history of Kansas University's Allen Fieldhouse." [LJWorld]...

So What Does Jon Gruden Really Think Of His New Employer?
Having a selective memory and no access to Google comes in handy during a job search. That way, when a network hires you to talk football they aren't embarrassed by old quotes like this one....

James Harrison Snubs Obama, America
The Steelers' Silverback linebacker has caused many sports fans and journalists to gasp and mutter "you dumb bastard" under their breath after he scoffed at the White House invite....

Jon Gruden Joins "Monday Night Football" Crew. Seriously.
Good news for Kornheiser haters! Tony is officially stepping down as third man in the "Monday Night Football" booth. The slightly more exciting (upsetting? baffling?) news is that Lil' Jon Gruden will take his seat....

Baseball Fans To Be Slightly Less Bleary-Eyed This Fall
For the first time in 30 years (really?), World Series games will start before 8:00 p.m. Eastern this October. So now you can fall asleep in the seventh inning instead of the sixth. [ESPN; photo via LIFE]...

The Minnesota Twins Had A Rough Weekend
Ron Gardenhire's crew arrived in the Bronx just in time for the movers who finally brought over the magical Yankees Magic Machine from the other stadium. Oooooh ... ghosts!...

Adam Burish Survives Horrifying Decapitation Attempt
The Blackhawks lost Game One of the Western Conference Finals yesterday, but Burish's head is still attached to the rest of his body so I guess he has that going for him. Teammate Ben Eager got tangled up with a Red Wing player in the second period and his foot—you know the one with the freshly shar...

Fat Old Lakers Fan Wearing Sunglasses Rejoices
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Crafty Magic Marketing Team Successfully Added Insult
Enter a New England zip code dressed in opposing team colors and you risk dismemberment. Enter Boston sticker-sniping and you risk death. This group survived and came home with a win. [SpartyAndFriends]...

Magic Destroy Celtics
Here's hoping tonight's Game 7 is a little more entertaining than the Rockets/Lakers snoozefest. Not so much. Consider this your DUAN!/open thread area that will take you into Monday....

No, The Naked Viking Did Not Win Bay To Breakers
The 98th annual Bay To Breakers race saw a 22-year-old Kenyan break the course record despite usual overabundance of nude weirdos.[NSFWish] [Quirky San Francisco}...

Let's Reconsider Making A 2 Legit 2 Twit Joke
M.C. Hammer: "Watching No Doubt with Big Ben and my Son at Tiger Woods event !!" [M.C. Hammer Twitter]...

Jack Kerouac's Fantasy Baseball Dorkdom
Jack Kerouac led a busy life boozing, writing, bee-bopping, and banging Neal Cassady's wife, but he was also quite the nerdsworth when it came to fantasy baseball. Heavy emphasis on the "fantasy."...

Red Hawks. Black Wings. Open Thread.
Puckheads...enjoy. [Yahoo Sports]...

Jinxing Clayton Kershaw
Clayton Kershaw no-hitting Marlins... (UPDATE: oops.)[SI]...

Lakets. Rockers. Game 7 Open Thread.
Will Kobe take this series back? Will Ron Artest lick his neck? Will Luis Scola's swarthy musk be too much for the Lakers too handle? Find out which of these brave competitors will earn the right to be defeated by the Nuggets. [Yahoo]...