no Page 5295 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

There Is Another Sanchez Living Inside Mark Sanchez's Mouth
New York media, please be on high alert: It turns out the man drafted to save the Jets' franchise from the ghost of Favre and the incompetence of Clemens/Ratliff allegedly is lip- inked and loves doggy-style....

Pistons' Coach Chuck Daly Dies
Pancreatic cancer. He was 78. [Freep]...

Alex Rodriguez Shuts Everyone Up In His Own Special Way
It's easy to get hyperbolic about Alex Rodriguez's three-run home run last night, but it's also tough to ignore the significance. Redemption began with the the first at-bat. It only took one pitch....

Orlando Is Trying To Ruin Everything
The Magic trounced the Celtics 117-96. Dwight Howard's shoulders had 17 points, 14 rebounds and 5 blocks. Magic lead Celtics 2-1.[ESPN]...

A Very Special Guest Editor Goodbye
Alright, time to shut this thing down....

Feuding Reporters Briefly Enliven Terrible Cavs-Hawks Series
NBA playoffs-related journalist slap-fight!...

The One With Rick Pitino, Karen Sypher And The Bizarre Love Triangle Rumors
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW)...

Lance Armstrong Turned Off By Sheryl Crow's Incessant Babymaking Demands
Yes, we know: You've been incontinent with suspense about what rent asunder the sacred ugly-bumping bond between four-hundred-time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow, the singer who had that song that time....

John Tesh Offers You $20K To Rap-Dribble-And Dance Your Way To Total Humiliation
And you'd also like the chance for your equally inept rhyming abilities to earn you exciting cash and prizes? Yeah, we can hook you up with that. Please wear a helmet before viewing to ensure the mess from your brain's imminent, messy explosion doesn't stain the wallpaper. And we'll even get you sta...

The First Manny-less Night In Mannywood
While Manny Ramirez began his hCG-detox in the Suspension Lounge deep within Scott Boras's Orange County compound, his now-abandoned team had to carry on without its lovable floppy-haired, hormone-abusing left fielder....

No One Shows Up To Watch Jose Canseco Do His 'I Told You So' Dance About Manny
Pity Jose Canseco....

Deadspin I-Team: Is The Panamanian Cricket Team Artificially Enhanced?
On the backchannels, Daulerio has charged us with launching a Deadspin I-Team investigation into the veracity of some suspiciously bottom-heavy photographs of the "Panamanian Cricket Team."...

Norm Macdonald's Bob Uecker Story
Obviously I find anything this man does ridiculously entertaining. This is no exception. [Videogum]...

Reporter Sees Rat, Freaks Out In Exact Highly Amusing Way You'd Expect
The above video, featuring Comcast SportsNet's Capitals reporter Lisa Hillary suffering a highly entertaining, if ultimately non-life-threatening, heart-attack while being terrorized by a Verizon Center rat, represents our first exposure to playoff hockey in years....

A Note From The Guest Editor
Greetings from Los Angeles, the charming little front-running town that just suffered a devastating cockpunch from a left-fielder who's being unfairly persecuted for his totally innocent use of a female fertility drug....

Jenn Sterger Says Goodbye To The Jets
She's leaving the Gang Green meet-and-greet team to pursue acting and playing for the Minnesota Vikings. Also? She's going to be a guest bartender at "The Hill" in Murray Hill tomorrow night. [NYP]...

Johnny Damon Shows The Yankees How It's Done
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Freddie Mitchell Is Talking To Someone
He's not in the NFL due to "things out of his control." [Freddie Mitchell]...