no Page 5328 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Catch A Ride On The Greinke Train
Look, we're all friends here. You've got certain feelings inside you and you're not sure how to deal with them, but it's okay to talk about it—you kinda want to hump Zack Greinke, don't you?...
A-Rod's Book Is No "Marley And Me"
According to one NY Post reporter who appears to have gone to exactly four bookstores in the Manhattan area, the sales of "The Many Lives Of Alex Rodriguez" are a little slow. [NYP]...
Alex and Sid's Dueling Hat Tricks
The NHL got what it wanted—a Crosby/Ovechkin playoff showdown—and the first two games have lived up to the billing. If only they can find a way to make it last longer than two more games....
Now, Is This Better Or Worse Than "Horry Kow?"
This shirt, worn at Busch Stadium by one cuddly Cardinal fan, was shown off proudly without security hassles. At least the fan with the "Cubs Suck" shirt was forced to turn his inside out. [JSF]...
Is It Hot In Here Or Is My Head On Fire?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
What About His Face? Did Something Happen To Rick Ankiel's Face?
The Rickster was hospitalized after crashing face first into the center field wall last night. Doctors say he might not have been hurt at all if only he had kept the mustache. [Missourinet]...
Maybe The Magical Ponies Are Huge Miami Heat Fans
Courtesy of Runaround Sue's and around 50 other ESPN.com readers who spotted this poll. No, they weren't cornified again....
Carlos Zambrano Needs A Timeout
The Big Z is going on the 15-day DL with a bad hamstring. Should Cubs fans panic? Should they start beheading farm animals? Or get drunk and embrace the Jeff Samardzija Era. [Sun-Times]...
Mexican Soccer Player Red Carded For Swine Flu
Speaking of bold, unexpected strategies—Guadalajara defender Hector Reynoso has been banned from international competition because he spit and sneezed on opposing players and then told them he had swine flu....
Joba Chamberlain's Mother Still Has Some Problems
The mother of the Yankees' hurler was arrested for dealing meth to an undercover officer. This is written by the same newspaper that did the long-ish profile on her last fall. [Lincoln Star Journal]...
The Kentucky Derby Revisited: Follow The Circle And Ignore Tom Durkin
NBC's lead race caller Tom Durkin is getting hammered for his I-Am-Yelling-About-The-Wrong-Horses!-routine that annoyed many viewers, especially racing purists, those who had money on Pioneer of The Nile and blind people....
Malcolm Gladwell Wants To Know Why Your Team Doesn't Press More
There's a very lengthy article in The New Yorker this week, from uber-contrarian Malcolm Gladwell arguing that basketball teams should press more often, because it helps weak teams upset strong ones. (Except when it doesn't.)...
Sorry Ladies: Bruce Pearl Is Off The Market!
Hearts are a-breakin' all across the Smokies today as Bruce Pearl has announced that he's affianced to lady friend Brandy Miller. Do they sell creamsicle-colored tuxedo shirts? [Knoxville News Sentinel]...
Trevor Hoffman's Music Scares The Crap Out Of Ken Macha
The Brewers manager says he hides in the bathroom when his closer enters the game, because Hoffman's entrance music is just too darn loud. Or maybe it's the new Japanese seat warmers? [ESPN; game notes]...
Warm Your Butt In The Dice-K Memorial Bathrooms
The Boston Red Sox paid the Seibu Lions $51.1 million for the right to take Daisuke Matsuzaka off their hands. So what did they do with the money? New toilet seats for everyone!...
Lance Armstrong's New Bike Insipred By Hope
Because it was designed by Obama poster artist Shepard Fairey. [AnimalNY]...
The Time Is Right For America's Baddest Horse Trainer
Ok, this has been bugging me since Saturday, so I have to ask—was trainer Bennie Woolley Jr. carrying a gun at the Kentucky Derby? (Probably not—but wouldn't it have been great if he had been?)...
Selena Roberts On Verge Of Becoming More Despised Than A-Rod
Selena Roberts' Alex Rodriguez tell-all finally hits the bookshelves today, but all the goodwill she received from her journalism colleagues after breaking the steroid story to end all steroid stories has completely vanished....
Austrian Hockey Players Will Question Your Sexuality In Perfect English
Austria lost to Denmark in a Hockey World Championship qualifier last week, but at least Oliver Setzinger got a chance to get to know his fans and their preferences for fellatio....