no Page 5521 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Your Guest Editor Has Arrived. Get All Your Balls In Order.
All right, you listen up, you little freaks. The fun stops here: you're going to shut your stinking traps and behave, dammit! This is one substitute you're not going to SCREW WITH! That's right, I'm your guest editor today. Send your tips to me here, or to [email protected]. And while I'm here, in ...
The Night The Boos Died
You may be big NFL fan. You may be a big NBA fan. We all have our favorite sports. But, after last night, you’d be hard-pressed to argue that ANY sport ends its season in more memorable fashion than baseball.Because you always have to get that last out. There’s no clock to run down. You can’t kneel...
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSss
And only, like, five people died! Seriously, this is the greatest, bestest thing in the world. As a fan of your favorite team, I hope you do experience it. I never, EVER thought i would. Yeah, that's a car tipped over. See you tomorrow! PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES: WORLD SERIES CHAMPS! GOD, FUCK ME IN THE...
Us Did It! Phillies Are World Series Champions
They sure took their sweet time, but after the most adrenaline-packed three-and-a-half innings of baseball all year (maybe ever?) the Phillies take the lead twice, with the second one sticking for a 4-3 victory, vanquishing the Tampa Bay Rays in five games. Geoff Jenkins led off the game with a pinc...
World Series Game Five Live Blog 33-1/3: The Final Insult
Last time on "World Series Test Cricket," our Philadelphia Phillies and Tampa Bay Rays were tied 2-2 in the middle of the 6th inning. Please slip on the underwear you adorned on Tuesday (or, if you want to be accurate, Monday) and jump like it's October 27th. * * *Top 9th 3 ...
Unfortunately, There Won't Be Anyone Wearing This Type of Outfit on Broad Street Tonight
Win or lose, mind you. It's just too damn cold to be parading around like this young lady was last Sunday night. She is obviously proud of her formidable upper thigh definition. The forecast for the game tonight is a frigid 30 degrees. Of course if there is a victory at the end of this wacky three i...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you wrap your mouth around this baby ... • MLB: World Series, Game 5, Part 2, Electric Boogaloo: Tampa Bay Rays at Philadelphia Phillies (8:00 p.m., ET) Why don't we pick this up again next May, when it's nice and warm? [Fox] • Politics: Barack Obama Political Message (8:00 p.m.,...
John Daly, a North Carolina Hooters, 2:17 a.m — Guess How This Story Ends?
Well, hi there, handsome! Here's the latest mugshot of troubled professional golfer John Daly, who is obviously still hellbent on recklessly drinkin' and piggin' himself toward an early grave. Winston-Salem police arrived at a Hooters restaurant early Sunday morning and came upon Daly being "intoxic...
Unfortunate Babies Poised For Lifetime Of Regret
I'm quite certain that, should he win on Nov. 4, the first order of business in the new Barack Obama administration will be to end the practice of parents naming their children after sports stars. Sadly it's too late for little Cole and Chase Ryan, born just prior to Monday's Great Rain Delay and na...
Afternoon Blogdome: Adam Morrison Cut Down In His Prime
The Blogdome email address approves this message. • What is that ... thing?: Hey, everybody ... Adam Morrison got a hair cut. I believe this is the plot of "Saw VI" [Bobcats Baseline] • What did he ever do to you? Oh, right: How long has it been since you thought about punching Vince Carter in the ...
Cops Still Baffled By Isiah Thomas' Tomfoolery
We'll probably never know what really happened last Friday night at Isiah Thomas' spacious pad in Purchase, New York, but the one thing that is being made perfectly clear: he's the one who overdosed on sleeping pills, not his daughter, and police chief, David Hall, is doing everything possible to ma...
Ethical Quandaries: What Should I Do With These Two Stubs That Could Pay This Month's Rent?
How much is three innings of baseball worth? As you can see, these seats are in the terrace deck of Citizens Bank Park (Sec. 426, row 3) , but are still going for $700 a pop on StubHub right now. That could buy me a whole crapload of macaroni. I'm torn. Do I want to be a part of history with my fat...
Alabama Fan Waxes Eloquent On Life, Tennessee, and Saban
This is what it has come to: an erudite Alabama fan self-nicknamed "Cowboy" is Phil Fulmer's greatest defender. And Cowboy thinks that Nick Saban might be watching his analysis. Which, given that Saban is all-knowing and all-powerful, He probably is. Find a better mustache than this, I dare you. ...
This Is Why We Can't Have Two-Way Football Players Anymore
College and pro sports are dirty cesspools of corruption, greed, and underhanded malfeasance, but they've got nothing on the cutthroat world of high school football. Just ask Taysom Hill, a star quarterback from Highland High School in Idaho, who is committed to Stanford. Recent opponent and cross-...
A Detroit Columnist Caught Making Stuff Up? Surely Not
Detroit News columnist Rob Parker really doesn't appear on my radar screen much, except for this infamous column, and of course his work on the dearly departed Quite Frankly with Stephen A. Smith. So that's two strikes against him right there. But now comes the news that he apparently fabricated sou...
Greg Oden's Body Hates Him
Well, it's a good thing Greg Oden has that creaky knee back in proper working order. That way, the Portland Trail Blazers' medical staff can focus their full attention on his latest injury: A "sprained" foot. I'll give Oden this much: He’s already been more durable than he was last season. After all...
Mystery Phillies Bud Selig Chastiser Identified! (We Think)
Three sources have come forward to reveal the identity of the mystery Philadelphia Phillie responsible for the now-famous quote about Bud Selig on Monday. Upon seeing Selig in the Phillies' clubhouse following the postponement of Game 5 due to rain, a Phillies pitcher looked at him and said: "That f...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The Utah Jazz
The NBA season has started! But, like, we still have two previews to go! Up next is a team that loves the pick-and-roll...and quiet evenings at home. They are: The Utah Jazz. When last we saw them: Finished 54-28, first in the Northwest Division and fourth overall in the West. Lost to the Lakers in ...
Loaded Feature Stories That Make It Abundantly Clear Why Newspapers Suck
Yes, that's Brett Myers, Phillies number two pitcher, who many of you only know as the man who punched his wife in the face outside a Boston bar back in June of 2006. Given his penchant for violence and dickheaded outbursts, it would seem completely ridiculous for a newspaper to do a feature story o...
Arkansas Radio Host Just Thankful Gregg Doyle Didn't Bite Off Any Extremities
Shawn Arnell isn't sure what he did to piss off CBS Sportsline columnist Gregg Doyle so badly. On Tuesday we detailed their radio interview in which Arnell, co-host of KARN's "Morning Animals" show in Little Rock (that's him to the right), jousted with the feisty online columnist about a piece he wr...