no Page 5654 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Ken Griffey Jr. Is Quite The Rapscallion
It has been pleasant to watch Ken Griffey Jr., who played with such joy as a youth before becoming surly in his mid-career, rediscover the mirth, the smile, that made us all adore him. As his time has wound down, he has loosened up and enjoyed himself, tossing jockstraps to fans and, yesterday, fi...
Orioles Magic ... Uh, Catch It, Or Something
We're not sure anyone other than Kevin Millar is in on the joke here, but alas: Here's "Orioles Magic," the new/old/new theme song for the Baltimore Orioles, sung by the Baltimore Orioles, rocked out by the Baltimore Orioles....
Cubs Have Second-Best Record In Baseball! (Me No Like Bizarro World)
If it weren't for those insufferable Diamondbacks, who play in the NL West and therefore should only get to count every other win, the Chicago Cubs would be our new overlords. As it is the Northsiders have a 24-16 record after their 8-5 win over the Padres on Wednesday, one game worse than Arizona's...
A Tale Thirty-Three Years in the Making?
The NHL Closer is written by five epic heroes from Melt Your Face Off. When not slaying the monsters on goalie masks, they constantly polish their swords. Raskolnikov recounts last night's act of valor....
All Together: There Really IS No Place Like Home
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's starting to think HE could beat one of these squads on his homecourt. That's how impossible it is for NBA teams to win on the road right now. When he's not having delusions of grandeur here, he can be found having delusion of grandeur at Basketbawful....
About Last Night
What you missed while plotting to catch the roadrunner in a perfect storm of ACME mayhem ... • MLB: The Adventures of Robinson Cano ... Yankees strike back, end Rays' win streak. • NBA: Kevin Garnett really does prefer those home uniforms. Celtics 96, Cavaliers 89. • NHL: Stars alive!...
Our Long National Nightmare Might Really Be Over
Although there have been rumors circulating for the last couple days via every gossip blog on the planet, there was still no real confirmation as to whether or not Cowboys' singing sensation Tony Romo and his personal ample-breasted quarterback Jessica Simpson had called it quits....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after a man in a gorilla suit steals your pants ... • Horse racing: Preakness post position draw, at Baltimore (5 p.m., ET). Do not bother me for the next two hours! [ESPN2] • MLB: Atlanta at Philadelphia (7 p.m., ET). Bring me the head of the Phillie Phanatic. [ESPN] • NBA: Eastern Co...
Reggie Miller Does Not Believe In Shot Glasses Or Belvedere
Yes, that's former Indiana Pacers sharpshooter Reggie Miller filling the mouth of what appears to be a very thirsty woman with a few fingers of Grey Goose....
Not Quite A Mark McGwire Sighting, But Close
It's been a while since we've seen Mark McGwire. Wait ... was that him at that Obama rally yesterday? OK, no, that wasn't him. But admit it: You wouldn't be surprised if he looked like this now....
Prepare Thyself For Impending Debut Of Barbaro's Brother. Oy
Just because you have a famous brother doesn't mean that you will approach the heights of greatness yourself, as anyone who has seen a Daniel Baldwin movie will readily attest. We've previously written about Barbaro's younger brother, of course, but now the horse — named Nicanor — is ready to make ...
NBA Playoffs: A Wednesday Night Viewer's Guide
Basketbawful is here to do the Hump-day Hump. Which isn't as dirty as it sounds. Unless giving you tonight's NBA playoff preview can be considered pornographic....
Enough, Already, With The "Unwritten Rules" Of Baseball
Goose Gossage says you can't show joy when you do something positive. You can't bunt to end a no-hitter. If their guy throws even close to your guy, you have to throw closer to his guy. In the fourth inning, everyone has to do an Indonesian Dance Of Skulls before tapping his left ear twice. These "u...
The Briny Ballers Achieve A Left-Columner
Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's best baseball g...
Who's Quitting Now? Annika Sorenstam, Among Others
Now this is the way to quit. Simple announcement, no ambiguity, definite schedule for withdrawal. Annika Sorenstam, who announced on Tuesday that she's leaving the LPGA Tour at the end of the season, is employing an exit strategy the Bush Administration is envying. Oh, and you can also bet that she'...
Crazy Artist Guy Combines Michael Vick And Another Horse
You might remember last year, when a talented artist combined Michael Vick and Barbaro, causing us to spontaneously combust. Well, that artist is back, this time honoring the "great" Eight Belles....
Baseball's Flourishing Again ... Let's Expand!
The notion of "contraction," back when Major League Baseball was going to eliminate the Expos, the Twins, both, neither, somebody, seems kind of quaint now. MLB is raking in cash, and pretty much every team at least has the ability to compete. The Marlins and the Rays are in first, the Yankees are ...