not Page 11 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Candy Versus Booze: Who Ya Got?!<em></em>
Today, we’re talking about woke Axl Rose, salt, rich assholes who exercise a lot, and more....
Don’t Force Your Sports Fandom Onto Other People’s Kids, You Asshole<em></em>
Today, we’re talking about French fries, cocaine, college football, and more....
Wake Forest Kicker Shanks Field Goal After Forgetting He's Part Of The Field Goal Unit
“Practice makes perfect” is certainly a mantra Wake Forest kicker Nick Sciba adheres to. In fact, he’s so serious about it that he was still practicing while the rest of his team set themselves up in position to kick a field goal in the first quarter against Notre Dame. The good news was that the De...
U.S. Open Fan Who Dunked Chicken Tender Into Soda: "People Are Telling Me I Should Go To Jail"
The most repulsive thing at the U.S. Open this weekend wasn’t John Millman’s shirt or Tennys Sandgren’s personality, but this chicken tender dipped into a soda by a woman in the stands. Fox 5 found Alexa Greenfield, the bold flavor revolutionary (or gross weirdo, depending on your worldview) and got...
This Is The Stupidest Shit On The Entire Internet
A few weeks ago, I learned about a dystopian gathering called OzyFest where people paid real American dollars to gaze longingly at thinkfluencers and hear soup-brained psychopaths like Karl Rove host panels. The Silicon Valley–funded Ozy—which is somehow not an incisive performance art piece about o...
Two Insufferable Teams Combine Forces For One Really Big Piece Of Shit
Notre Dame football will play at Yankee Stadium in November, so to commemorate what will surely be a memorable game against Syracuse, the Fighting Irish will wear these pinstriped uniforms. The price is quite steep at $95, but anyone who’d buy one would be doing so drunk anyway....
Will 2018 Be The Year Notre Dame Strings Together Two Good Seasons?
Welcome to the Deadspin 25, a college football poll that strives to be more democratic and less useless than every other preseason poll. Leading up to the college football season kickoff, we will give you previews of the 25 teams that you, the readers, voted to be most worthy of writing about. Now, ...
Lights Go Out On Diamondbacks Game, Pedro Gomez Briefly Blames Rampaging Baboon
Top of the sixth, tie game, men on second and third, and the lights went out in Phoenix:...
England Coming Home, Won't Bring Football With Them
The bracket was on their side, the memes were on their side, and even the sport, a creation of their very own, appeared to be in favor of the Brits. Unfortunately for them, football won’t be coming home, because Croatia beat England in their World Cup semifinal today by a score of 2-1....
Your Guide To The CONIFA World Cup, The World Cup For Not-Quite-Countries<em></em>
LONDON — “We have nothing against FIFA,” CONIFA General Secretary Sascha Düerkop told a tittering press corps on Wednesday. We were all sitting in the basement of a student accommodation block in North London. “They are very great to learn how not to do things.” ...
Let's Remember Some Guys, Early '80s Fleer Mustache Dudes Edition
The Rememberer’s art is, for the most part, a lonely one. That is kind of portentous and serious-sounding, but it also seemed like a better way to begin this post than the thought it was intended to convey, which is “if you are someone who remembers a lot of rando middle reliever dudes from your you...
Am I Gross For Sucking Snot Out Of My Baby's Nose?
Dear Leigh, I have sucked snot out of my kids’ noses with my mouth when they were too little to blow it. I spit it out, for the record. Am I gross?...
Okay Goddamnit, What The Hell Is This Robot Saying?
This devil magic is tearing the entire GMG newsroom apart, and now you have to deal with it too. What is this robot saying??? I hear “Laurel” and I can’t even hear the faintest shred of “Yanny,” so please tell me what you hear....
Boston's Weather Broke Scores Of Elite Runners, But Not Old Man Abdi Abdirahman
Despite miserable weather, 95 percent of of the 27,042 common folk who started Monday’s Boston Marathon eventually crossed the finish line. The whippets up front proved less stalwart: two-thirds of the elite men’s field dropped out. One who didn’t was 41-year-old Tucson resident, Abdi Abdirahman. H...
Arike Ogunbowale's Appearance On <i>Dancing With The Stars </i>Will Be A "Personal Growth Experience" To Fit Dumb NCAA Rules<em></em>
College basketball legend and Notre Dame rising senior Arike Ogunbowale is set to appear on the upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars beginning in just under two weeks. But because Ogunbowale still plays for Notre Dame and is thus considered an NCAA athlete even on summer break, there are at lea...
Notre Dame Scores Last-Second Goal To Break Michigan Hearts In The Frozen Four
An incredible national semifinal between Notre Dame and Michigan looked to be heading to overtime, then ended with no warning whatsoever thanks to the Irish’s Jake Evans, who scored an Arike Ogunbowale-esque dagger with 5.2 seconds remaining to win the game 4-3....
Yankees Fans Incessantly Boo Giancarlo Stanton After New Arrival Records Platinum Sombrero
Reigning National League MVP Giancarlo Stanton is already a persona non grata in the Bronx as Yankees fans reacted to the slugger’s five-strikeout day against the Rays with a chorus of boos....
This Was Muffet McGraw's Masterpiece, And Notre Dame's Next Season Could Be Even Better<em></em>
COLUMBUS, Ohio — Muffet McGraw’s husband Matt clearly knows the drill by now. He beamed as he watched his wife of 40 years hold court with reporters after the greatest coaching win of her career. She wore a black dress that she’d bought especially for what turned out to be her second national champi...
Arike Ogunbowale Wasn't Supposed To Take The Last Shot
Notre Dame’s final play wasn’t called for Arike Ogunbowale. After hitting the winning three in Friday’s semifinal win over UConn, the Notre Dame junior guard had an off shooting night against Mississippi State, and when the Irish inbounded the ball in a tie game with three seconds left, the play was...
Notre Dame's Arike Ogunbowale Crushes Mississippi State With Championship-Winning Three
For a while, it looked like today’s National Championship game would be an anticlimactic finale after both semifinals went to overtime on Friday. Mississippi State led Notre Dame 30-17 at the half, holding the Irish to just three points in the second quarter. But Notre Dame fought back and gave us a...