not Page 19 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Lentil Ricochets Six Feet, Easy, Off Of An Abdomen
I know there will be six kinds of naysayers, and while there is no notary public involved, I have photo documentation of a French green lentil falling from mouth-height, ...

<em>Jeopardy!</em> Vs. <em>Wheel of Fortune</em>: Which One Makes You Feel Dumber?
I am a Thought Leader of Television, and so I've been asked to ruminate on the Big News that Jeopardy!—yeah! the exclamation point! is officially part of the title!—beat Wheel of Fortune in the ratings a coupla weeks ago, the first time in over a decade, and is this perhaps an indicator that maybe A...

Hero White Sox Fan Snags Flying Bat, Saves Baby
Eileen Depesa thought quickly—and acted quicker, with a one-handed snag of Tyler Flowers's runaway bat that seemed to be heading right for the infant sitting directly behind her. The gentleman next to her, ducking for cover? He did not acquit himself nearly so well....

British Sprinter: "Your Mom Will Have Lactic In Her Anus"
Major sports stars know to not feed the trolls. England's Richard Kilty, the 2014 World Indoor 60-meter gold medalist, is still coming to grips with his emerging celebrity, most notably by engaging with Twitter accounts that ask rhetorical questions....

We Are Uncool
Here's the first of 3 singles we'll be posting this week from my new full-length mix, Another Fine Mess....

It Was All A Dream
We tried a bunch of songs for the finale of Another Fine Mess and nothing worked. I couldn’t get it off my mind for days. It wouldn’t let me alone. I knew once I stopped pressing I’d find the right song and that’s just what happened when I came across “Sunrays” from Yesterday’s New Quintet’s ep, Ell...

Reading Fans Mistakenly Think They Get Into Playoffs, Invade Pitch
Crazy things are happening in English soccer today and the folks at Sky Sports have got us all covered. Here they are calling the most heartbreaking news of the day: Reading F.C.'s brief flirtation with the playoffs. ...

The NBA Player No One Would Pass To
Early this season, we ran an item called "The NBA Players No One Will Pass To." It used newly accessible SportVU motion-tracking data to determine who among all the NBA players receives the ball the least. It was based on just a few weeks' worth of data, but ended up being representative. In short: ...

Oh Hell, Root For The Wizards: John Wall's Brave, Stubborn Playoff Run
If you have watched much Washington Wizards basketball over the past four seasons, first of all, why, and I am so sorry—but also, you have seen John Wall chase down a ballhandler in transition, take off like a fucking F/A-18 off a carrier deck, and swat the absolute shit out of the ball. It's reall...

European Golfer Jumps Into Lake To Escape Hornet Attack
Pablo Larrazabal was just minding his own business, playing through his second round at the Malaysian Open on Friday, when all of a sudden—HORNET ATTACK!...

Presenting Your 2014 Name Of The Year
Shamus Beaglehole has prevailed. Here's to you, Shamus....

Name Of The Year 2014 Final: Shamus Beaglehole Vs. Chillie Poon
This is it. This is the showdown we've waited an entire year for (OK, more like five months). In one corner, we have Shamus Beaglehole: English footballer, #3 seed of the Sithole Regional, vanquisher of Curvaceous Bass and Dr. Loki Skylizard, and bearer of a last name that sounds like an old man's c...

2014 Name Of The Year: The Final Four
We're nearing the summit of this year's tourney, and the venerable spirits of Assumption Bulltron, Godfrey Sithole, Crescent Dragonwagon, and Doby Chrotchtangle have each found favor with a champion. These four, this exalted 16th of the starting field, are all that remain as our competition enters i...

Name Of The Year 2014: The Elite Eight
We're down to just eight splendid name-inees, and we're happy to see each one of them picking up their own fan groups. The comments section has provided a thorough analysis to complement our own, and we hope to see more nuggets of brilliance as we approach the Final Four....

2014 Name Of The Year: The Sweet 16
We had a polling malfunction last week: The Bulltron and Sithole polls inexplicably closed early. Our bad, and thanks for letting us know on Twitter so we could re-open them; we might not have caught the error otherwise....

2014 Name of the Year: Round Two, And A Note On Middle Names
Before we get to the second round of our tournament, I'd like to share a tip we received from a reader named Jeffrey. Jeffrey is not himself a Name of the Year nominee, but he is a Brandeis alum familiar with Mingus Mapps, the Bulltron Regional's 8-seed and a Brandeis poli-sci professor....

2014 Name of the Year: Dragonwagon and Chrotchtangle Regionals, Round 1
We love it when our name-inees display some competitive spirit, so we were thrilled to receive an email in that vein last night from Bulltron competitor Bernie Wagenblast. Here's what he had to say:...

2014 Name Of The Year: Bulltron And Sithole Regionals, Round 1
The 2014 Name of the Year tournament kicks off today in the quadrants named after Assumption Bulltron, crowned the first-ever Name of the Decade, and Godfrey Sithole, the 1985 Name of the Year champion....

Presenting The 2014 Name Of The Year Bracket, A Shitavious Gruntfest
Name of the Year dates to the fall of 1982 and names taped to a dorm-room door on an Ivy campus: Dexter Manley, Cornelius Boza-Edwards, Baskerville Holmes. The following spring, Hector (Macho) Camacho was elected the first Name of the Year. What can we say? The first basketball baskets didn't have h...
