not Page 37 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jay Cutler, Chicago's O-Line Have Trust Issues
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
RIP, Luna Vachon
Former World Wrestling Entertainment star Gertrude "Luna" Vachon died Friday morning in Florida at age 48. She was living with her mother because her home was damaged in a fire. [Fox Sports]...
La Russa, Pujols Will Apolitically Attend Glenn Beck's Totally Apolitical Rally
Can we all agree by now that the allegedly thoughtful Tony La Russa, who maybe you've heard is a lawyer and who walks the earth cogitating profoundly on such matters as lineup construction and puppies, is really just an all-around paste-eating dumbass?...
Last Night's Winner: Notre Dame, Bending Television To Their Will
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the Fighting Irish, who gain a competitive advantage by convincing NBC to change the way they do commercial breaks, which will facilitate their new up-tempo offense....
Down Goes Strasburg (Sort of). Nationals' Autopsy Scheduled (Today).
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Dead Wrestler's Society Accepts New Member
Lance McNaught, aka former WWE wrestler Lance Cade or Garrison Cade, died Friday morning in San Antonio. He'd apparently been taken to the hospital for trouble breathing on Tuesday but asked to be released Wednesday....
Bat-Wielding Vigilante Takes On Boston Troublemakers (Video Back Up)
A group of punks are terrorizing passing motorists, until they mess with the wrong guy. He steps out of his car...metal bat in hand. This shit is bananas. (NSFW language)...
World Sauna Championships End In Death
The finals of the annual Sauna Championships in Finland went horribly wrong, with the Russian competitor dying after suffering severe burns from withstanding 230-degree temperatures for six minutes. The Finn retained his title by only having to go to the hospital. [BBC]...
Time for Quote of the Day Nominations
"Shooting 18-over par is not fun," Tiger Woods who, on Sunday, finished with the highest 72-hole score - 298 - of any PGA Tour event he ever played, even as an amateur. [AP]...
Where Does Sergio Kindle Rank On A List Of Great Falling-Down-Stairs Moments?
The Ravens rookie tumbled down not one, but two flights of stairs. He's in stable condition with a head injury, and will be fine. Kindle, LB, Texas. MUST IMPROVE: basic motor functions....
Gross Picking His Nose? Gross Picking His Nose.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Dog Beats Billy Beane to A's Soul
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Cancel Christmas, Cristiano Ronaldo Isn't Getting Married!
At least twenty minutes this morning have been spent scooping oozing chunks of warm egg from The Spoiler's face. Not an embarrassing breakfast mishap, you understand, but a clever metaphor....
Best News Lede Ever? Best News Lede Ever.
"A German court on Tuesday threw out the case of a schoolteacher against a pupil who allegedly tormented her by scrawling pictures of rabbits on the blackboard to aggravate her rabbit phobia." [The Local] (H/T Tom K.)...
Sheppard, Steinbrenner, (not) Berra
Woe was the New York Yankees website associate tasked with with writing the "Berra misses Old-Timer's Day after fall" release today after a week of franchise death notices....
When Notre Dame Football Players Get Arrested, Touchdown Jesus Weeps
Ain't no party like a South Bend party, cause by the time a South Bend house party gets stopped by police, someone's hand is going to get lacerated and some police officer's camera is going to take a mugshot of Joe Montana's son Nate....
Midshipman, Indeed: Navy Player Sees Your Greg Oden-Grinding-On-A-Lady Photo And, Um, Raises You
The man getting his friction on in the above picture, a la Oden, is former Navy Midshipmen cornerback Lord Cole. At least I think it is. The only pictures I can find of him are a little blurry or inconclusive....
The 8 Things I Learned Using Sports-Figure iPhone Apps
It was only a matter of time before athletes and other sports figures got into the iPhone app game, and now, thanks to one company, they have done so only as modern sports celebrities can: tackily....
Don't Let Notre Dame Touch You There, Big Ten
So Lou Holtz finally wants Notre Dame in The Big 10. I never took him for a bandwagoner, but his assessment that the conferences are eventually going to split into a few mega-conferences isn't lacking for evidence....
More Underaged Kids Drinking Overwatered Beer: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....