not Page 40 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Desperate Fan Just Wants To Win Something So He's Asking For Your Help
From an emailer: "There's a $50 gift certificate prize on a blog I frequent for identifying this guy and I want to win...only I have no idea who this dude is. I'm counting on you deadspin...don't let me down." Go....

Bearcats Bid Un-Emotional Goodbye to Brian Kelly
Brian Kelly said farewell to his Cincinnati charges last night and many responded by kindly asking their ex-coach to mind both the door and the area where the Good Lord split him as he makes his way through it....

Notre Dame Gets Its Angry, Egotistical Man
The South Bend Tribune is reporting that after an earlier feint toward UConn, Notre Dame has made its decision and Cincinnati's Brian Kelly will take the reigns in South Bend. But is he a big enough jerk?...

Jimmy Clausen Will Take His Swagger And Tiny Bathing Suits To The NFL
The Jimmy tells ESPN.com that "it's time" and he's taking Charlie Weis' sage advice: "He thought I've improved so much since I came to Notre Dame. So, I'm taking his advice, and I'm going to head out." [ESPN][Pic:Collegegameballs.com]...

Notre Dame To Announce Rehab Stint, Impending Pregnancy To TMZ
White smoke in South Bend!...

SEC Championship Game To Proceed Without Distractions
Thousands of hours of airtime. Millions of keystrokes. Finally, we can stop obsessing over the Most Important College Football Issue of Our Time: Notre Dame will not sully the airwaves this bowl season....

2010 Fifa World Cup Draw
For those who want to see foreign people fill-in brackets on a board, go to these fine places for live-blog updates....

Brian Kelly Will Coach The Fighting Irish, According To Writing Irish
In the most Irish piece of breaking news ever, a man named Sean O'Shea at something called IrishCentral.com is reporting that Cincinnati's Brian Kelly will indeed be the new coach of Notre Dame. [IrishCentral.com]...

Charlie Weis: Done
No official word from the university yet, but the New York Daily News is the first to report that Charlie Weis has been fired by Notre Dame....

Grady Sizemore Does His Bit To Increase Our Female Readership
Sizemore joins Santonio Holmes and Jeff Reed in the pantheon of Rust Belt athletes who take dong shots in the mirror with their cell phones. Grady's Ladies have declared a national holiday....

An Angry Message For The Sports Fella, From The Star Of TV's <em>Brooklyn Bridge</em>
Not long ago, Knicks fan Danny Lanzetta, the child lead in one of those pleasant 1990s-era CBS shows, sent Bill Simmons an e-mail debunking his Ewing Theory. Simmons ignored him. So Danny did the next best thing: He e-mailed us....

Cold-Cocked Clausen Coddled By QB Coaches
A couple of minor updates to the Clausen Affair. He's wearing a black visor (usually not allowed at Notre Dame) during practice and the AD says, "He just got coldcocked by somebody, and we're very disturbed by that." [ESPN]...

The Jimmy Clausen Fight: Alternative Histories
The internet has graciously offered up several different explanations of what really happened at CJ's Pub last Saturday night. At this point, they are all equally plausible/ludicrous, but we present these unvarnished tales so that you might pass impartial judgment....

Jimmy Clausen Had A Rough Weekend
All Jimmy Clausen wanted to do was enjoy a nice post-game meal with his family and teammates, but an angry Notre Dame fan had to go and remind the QB that he lost to Connecticut....by punching him in the face....

Showing The Human Side Of Charlie Weis The Week Before He Most Likely Gets Canned
AOL Fanhouse writer John Walters has a pretty incredible, candid glimpse of Charlie Weis, in the early morning hours after the Fighting Irish lost to UCONN, where the embattled head coach basically admits that his South Bend days are over....

Your Late Afternoon College Football Viewing Open Thread
Shazam! Actually, "lame" is a good way to describe today's slate of football games. Do you know what might make these games at least tolerable? Booze - lots of it. Drink Like A Champion Today! (taps sign on Beer Meister)...

The Charlie Weis Death Watch Flies Under The Radar
Notre Dame is so desperate to pretend they haven't decided to fire Weis, they've blocked their private plane (also known as the SchmoozeJet) from being tracked on the Internet. Though odds are 2:1 it's been to Palo Alto....

Optimistic Coyotes Fan Misses Point Entirely
An Internet commenter on the new shuttle service that takes fans to Phoenix's arena:"When I lived in Denver, the Broncos ran shuttles from the park-an-rides to the stadium. The Denver Broncos always sold out games. Good move!" [KTAR]...

A Little Holier-Than-Thou From Someone Who Handles Pigskin Every Week, Don't You Think?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

I Believe This Sums Up The Average Notre Dame Fan's Thoughts Quite Nicely
So, uh, Notre Dame lost to Navy today 23-21. The last time an unranked Navy team beat a ranked Notre Dame squad was 1936. The last time Navy beat the Fighting Irish twice in a row was 1961 and 1963....