not Page 44 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mets Fan Swallowed By Citi Field Toilet
Oh, Mets fans! It feels like the whole world is out to get you, but honestly, you're kinda asking for it. When one of you goes diving into a baseball stadium toilet after a gold tooth and gets stuck ... we're all a little embarrassed for you....
Citi Field Streaking Jabroni Faces Stiff Consequences
38-year-old Craig Coakley made a bet with his boss that he'd streak across Citi Field with a stuffed monkey jockstrap. He succeeded! Now he's never allowed back to Citi Field again....
ESPNU/Time Warner Cable Experiencing Technical Difficulties, Porn (NSFW)
There can't be that many people watching ESPNU at 3:17AM, but on Saturday there was at least one, and he got a little surprise while hunting for a late-night sports fix (very NSFW)....
Mine That Bird Wins the Derby, Pays 50-1
Calvin Borel has done it again. The Cajun jockey who rode Street Sense to a surprising victory two years ago has won again, this time in stunning fashion aboard long shot Mine That Bird....
You Suck, Schuster!
A double in the top of the third ended Patrick Schuster's bid for a fifth consecutive no-hitter. [TampaTribune]...
Someone Got A Hit Off Of Stephen Strasburg? What?
The pitcher who's going to have major league teams tanking games by July gave up a three-run homer and threw 121 pitches on Friday, but don't worry folks, he still won....
Citi Field Security Cracks Down On Sprawling Negativity
Apparently the Citi Field security goons are over-sensitive this year. Two times last week they took away signs from fans. First was the K's controversy. Then there's this incident....
Druggie NFL Prospects Not Actually On Drugs
Remember all the fuss recently about certain draft prospects who tested positive for drugs at the scouting combine and how it made everyone sad for today's youth? Yeah, none of those guys actually tested positive....
Sean Astin Is "Rudy." Now and Forever
Maybe you've heard of a little story called "Lord Of The Rings." He was in all three of those too, you know! Sheesh. [Journal Gazette]...
Jessica Rose A Little Unclear On This Blogging Business
"I unfortunately won't be home to view the game and don't have DVR since I just moved. This is not fun for me. Keep me updated via twitter @jessicaleerose." [Puck Daddy]...
Name Of The Year Competition Enters Final Four
Murray State golf coach Velvet Milkman, the No. 8 seed, has somehow upset heavily-favored Uranus Golden and Juvyline Cubangbang to come within two steps of ultimate NOTY glory. [Name Of The Year]...
Barry Zito Controls The Universe
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
UNC Student Burned But Proud
As we learned in Lord of the Flies, dancing near bonfires often leads to the collapse of the social structure, and on occasion a trip to the North Carolina Jaycee Burn Center....
Book Excerpts That Don't Suck: Faith And Fear In Flushing
Sigh. Here we go. "Faith And Fear In Flushing: An Intense Personal History Of The New York Mets" is not a book I'd promote on this site unless it was really, really good....
The Calipari Daughters Should Probably Get Off Of Facebook Immediately
Although the piles of money and ego-stroking are enormous when you join a big-time program like the University of Kentucky, there are downsides. You know, like a burgeoning online interest in your young daughters....
The Scottish Football Association Will Not Abide Your Pantomimed Oral Sex
The Scottish Football Association has banned players Barry Ferguson and Allan McGregor for making the shocking (SHOCKING!) hand gesture seen to your left. Who would've guessed the Scottish Football Association were such pussies? [Guardian]...
This Is Why You Will Always Be Horrible, You Bastard Mets
Phillies fan works St. John's/Georgetown game on Sunday is asked to take his Fightins' jacket off. Does he do it? No! He leaves Citi Field instead. Brilliant. [The 700 Level]...
Alyssa Milano Admits To Prematurely Hopping On/In Bed With the Carl Pavano Bandwagon
"This was right after he won the World Series. So he was kind of baseball royalty. It was before he came to the Yankees...and became the Carl Pavano you know." [HHR]...
The Horrbile Truth: Lady Terrapins Eat Kids
It's their team motto, and it's simply left to us to interpret it. "We Eat Kids." What kind of sick antics are going on behind the scenes at the NCAA Women's Basketball Tournament?...