not Page 45 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Look, Jackasses, KU Played Today. What The Shit Did You Expect?
Your beloved Comment Of The Week segment will appear Monday....

Mike Krzyzewski Not Thrilled With Barack-etology
For someone who has a former Duke player as his personal aide, President Obama is getting very little love from the Blue Devils today. Especially annoyed is coach Mike Krzyzewski....

OK, What's With All The Lesbian Gym Teachers Around Here?
The shocking truth: There may be lesbian physical education teachers in San Francisco Bay Area high schools, and they're diddling with students. And according to one law enforcement official, it's technology's fault....

Marko Jaric's Marriage Might Be Saved
No charges will be filed against him in the sexual assault case due to lack of "prosocutorial merit", whatever that means. [NBCPhiladelphia]...

Die, Shark. Die, Shark. Die, Shark.
Here's a pretty amazing story about one brave spear fisherman who went all Stabby McStabberson to keep a hungry tiger shark from eating his friend....

T.O. Not Headed To Tennessee
Fine. KOGOD's source might have misinterpreted the Nashville sighting. But tell me this, oh mighty chroniclers of facts — can you do a gay chimpanzee pretzel dance? Nope. [NBC Sports Blogs]...

Notre Dame Desperately Wants To Beat <i>Someone</i> At Football
Lou Holtz will take a team of Notre Dame alumni to Japan to play against that country's national American football team. Does any part of the sentence make sense to anyone? [AP]...

Carlos Beltran Responds To Cole Hamels' "Choke Artist" Comment
"The only thing that I know is he will be watched every time he faces us. Hopefully we kill him, and then he'll have to deal with the situation." [NYDN]...

Peter King Still Won't Shut The Door On Favre Just Yet
King says he thinks Favre will stay retired due to shoulder injury, but seems to imply that his pal's not completely shutting the door on another return just yet. Another fun "Summer of Favre." [SI]...

Jeff Garcia Still Being Treated Like Red-Headed Quarterback
Tampa Bay has officially told him that their plans for the future do not include the 39-year-old quarterback: "It is disappointing because I enjoyed the atmosphere and the team environment in that locker room." [ESPN]...

Peter Gammons Regrets Not Sticking Up For Roberts
SI writer Jeff Pearlman criticized ESPN's Peter Gammons for the way he handled the Alex Rodriguez interview, accusing the venerable baseball writer of "softball questions and limited inquisitiveness."...

Dwyane Wade Ain't Burning After All, Says Wife
It appears Dwyane Wade's estranged wife, Siohvaughn, was embellishing a little bit. Those STDs she allegedly got from D-Wade? Not true, says his lawyer. [Sports Pros(e)]...

Hoops Team Tries Performance-Enhancing "Suggestions"
A high school basketball coach in Kansas hypnotizes his struggling team; they win their next game by 10. Hey, it makes as much scientific sense as teaching evolution, am I right? [Wichita Eagle]...

Marquette Enjoying The Top While It Can
The Golden Eagles dispatched the suddenly terrible Fighting Irish leaving them on top of the Big East for at least a little while longer....

Ha! Soccer Player Turns Out To Be Only Mostly Dead
English soccer club asks crowd for a moment of silence to pay tribute to one of their greats, who, um happens to still be alive. [The Slow Breaker]...

Notre Dame Not Aware Of The Tie Rules Either
Unlike some sports, basketball games tend to continue until there is a declared winner. Notre Dame must not have been told this, because they failed to show up for overtime last night....

J.C. Romero Situation Gives Deputized Met Fan Reason To Complain
Yes, recently suspended pitcher J.C. Romero did work in (and win) two World Series games this year. Once again, Dan, strident Mets fan, has emailed in his thoughts....

Nobody Snitched On Marvin Harrison...No Criminal Charges Filed
Details surrounding what happened between Marvin Harrison and a a fella with a bullet in his arm were murky, and the Philadelphia D.A says there's not enough evidence for charges....

Get Fired Up, Mets Fans
Andruw Jones could be coming to underwhelm and frustrate you in 2009. [ESPN]...