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Washington Players Break It Down In Background Of ESPN's RG3 Reports
Washington players, presumably in a good mood after yesterday's 41-10 win over the Jaguars, walked into the background of two of ESPN Skins reporter John Keim's spots, dancing and having a grand time....

Knowshon Moreno's Elbow Is Not Acting Like An Elbow
Ugh. Just a festival of injuries today, including this gruesome Knowshon Moreno elbow-destroyer, the picture of which makes me sad. Thanks for cheering us up, football!...

This Dumb Cup Has Room For Chips And Soda, But Not For Dignity
Perhaps you have seen a TV commercial for a product called "Snackeez," a grotesquely large plastic beverage cup with a special dry chamber for storing your favorite garbage snacks. If you have not, here it is:...

Yes, Bruce Levenson's Racist Email Was Racist
By now you're aware that Bruce Levenson, controlling owner of the Atlanta Hawks, is selling his stake in the team, at least in part because of fallout from an email he sent to other members of team management back in 2012, theorizing that the team struggles to fill its arena because "the black c...

Houston Astros Fire Manager Bo Porter
The reported rift between Astros manager Bo Porter and GM Jeff Luhnow meant one of the two would have to be more flexible or leave. Today, the team fired Porter after less than two seasons....

Reports: Astros' Manager And GM Definitely Not Getting Along
It's rarely a good sign when Ken Rosenthal declares that your club is "dysfunctional on multiple levels."...

Restaurant Removes Bacon Sign, Ignites Culture War
This is it, folks. This just might be it. Your love of bacon will bring you to ruin, our ancestors said, but did we listen? Did we heed? No we did not. And now: Here we are, careening bacon-scented over the precipice of disaster. "My grandfather was alive in 2014," they will say, huddled fu...

Whatever Happened To Sports On Earth?
Originally published at The Classical....

The Wisconsin State Fair Has One Food-On-A-Stick Too Many
So here's the full list of truncheon-mounted foodstuffs at the Wisconsin State Fair, currently underway in, uh, well, Wisconsin, of course. Actually, no, here's not the full list, because the full list apparently has more entries on it than there are human beings to consume them. Wisconsonianitia...

This Is The Best Excuse For Failing A Breathalyzer Test
The Daily Mirror's Sophie Gadd called attention to this News of the Weird item, and we here at Deadspin had some thoughts about it. We discussed it in our staff chatroom....

Meta Analysis: How Many Licks To Reach The Center Of A Tootsie Pop?
The world may never know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. But we can at least use data to make an educated guess....

Gordon Ramsay's Kid Will Host A Cooking Show, For Some Reason
Gordon Ramsay, professional emotional abuser of reality-TV cooks, has a 12-year-old daughter named Tilly. And Tilly has an ambition: to indulge a 12-year-old's desire for fame and adoration in the hopes that a cooking show starring a pre-teen will goose a certain famous TV person's flagging busin...

Naked Burger Thieves On The Lam In Florida Beach Town
Listen. Sometimes it's 3:06 in the morning, you and a couple of your buddies are wandering around a beach town in various states of undress, and suddenly you have need of 60 hamburgers, three pounds of bacon, three red peppers, and, uh, a paddleboard. Immediately! And the grocery stores are cl...

Brady Aiken's College Eligibility Might Be In Jeopardy
In addition to revealing the Astros as shitty jerks, the Brady Aiken saga has also reminded the world of the existence of one of the NCAA's silliest and most farcical rules: players like Aiken aren't allowed to hire agents for MLB negotiating purposes if they want to retain collegiate eligibility. T...

Which Countries Use The Most O's In Their "GOOOOOOOOOAL"s?
Facebook Data has been following the World Cup with a lot of fun facts gleaned from personal information and whatnot. Here, they found a pretty cool thing, being which countries elongate their GOALs on Facebook the most. ...

The Grierson & Leitch Top 12 Movies Of The First Half Of 2014
As of today, we are halfway through 2014. Most of your "prestige" movies aren't out yet—only a third of our top 10s last year were from the first half of 2013 —but that doesn't mean this year's first six months didn't have its delights. Surprisingly, many of the standouts were bigger-budgeted studio...

Islanders GM On Draft Pick: "He'll Fit Right In; They Shit On Me, Too"
The New York Islanders traded back into the first round and selected Josh Ho-Sang with the 28th pick in the NHL draft Friday night. Islanders GM Garth Snow apparently saw something of a kindred spirit in the much-discussed 18-year-old out of the Ontario Hockey League because now he thinks he's got s...

<em>Jeopardy!</em> Vs. <em>Wheel of Fortune</em>: Which One Makes You Feel Dumber?
I am a Thought Leader of Television, and so I've been asked to ruminate on the Big News that Jeopardy!—yeah! the exclamation point! is officially part of the title!—beat Wheel of Fortune in the ratings a coupla weeks ago, the first time in over a decade, and is this perhaps an indicator that maybe A...

Rainbow-Cake Recipe Inspires Comment Apocalypse
This is just a really special moment for humanity. We take you to the website for Fox 101.9, a radio station in Melbourne, Australia, where "Web Guy Josh" has published a peppy, harmless instructional post for the making of an "Amazing Rainbow Tie-Dye Number Surprise Cake."...

Yasiel Puig Loves Playing In The Snow, Is Still A Giant Six-Year-Old
When we last checked in on Yasiel Puig's Instagram account, we found him proudly showing off all of his neat toys like a kid trying to impress the new neighbor boy. This one is mine. So is this one. Do you have this one? I got it for Christmas. Now, we find him frolicking in a patch of snow and cont...