now Page 39 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Olympic Pothead Is Now High On Civil Service
Ross Rebagliati—everyone's favorite dope smoking Olympic snowboarder—is running for a seat in Canada's parliament. You see, in Canada, election districts are called "ridings" and he probably just got confused because he was so freakin' high. [CTV/Victoria Times]...

Somehow, The Chilled Afterlife Of Ted Williams Manages To Get Weirder
Workers at Alcor, the cryonics lab where the frozen leftovers of Ted Williams are being preserved in liquid nitrogen, allegedly decapitated the Splendid Splinter and mutilated his head with a monkey wrench. There goes the greatest sentence ever written....

The Strangest Dirk Nowitzki Story You'll Ever Read
Deadspin presents to you a look at the burgeoning genre of Dirk Nowitzki fiction. Featuring homoerotic thoughts about Steve Nash, a Christ complex, and Oedipal musings. We are through the looking glass here, people....

Dirk Nowitzki's Boys Are Now Swimming At A Doggy-Paddle Pace
Dirk vows choose a better receptacle in the future: "My sperm is getting slower,'' he said, grinning. "(So) eventually, I've got to trust somebody.''[DallasBasketball]...

I Hope Your Team Wins At Sports This Weekend!
Thank you for letting me play in your sandbox today. I have no idea what any of you are talking about! That being said, you dudes were great. I hope it's not awkward when we run into each other later!...

Triumph Of Will
So many of you sent in photos capturing Leitch's brief cameo on YES (photos sent via computer of a TV screen on which a writer is staring at a computer screen) that we decided to make a pretty gallery. Enjoy!...

Crystal Taylor: Not Pregnant!
Dirk Nowitzki's ex-fiancée isn't carrying a little Dirkchen, a pregnancy test proved. (Not to mention months in prison with nothing to show for it.) Clearly, while Dirk tried to drain one from outside, there was goaltending on the play. [ESPN.com]...

USC Song Girls Do That Thing They Do That Makes People Happy
The lively boys at TrojanWire have cobbled together a tribute video to the world's most famous white-sweatered show ponies — with musical accompaniment by the Pixies — to celebrate the advent of Trojan season. [TrojanWire]...

The 2009 Hater’s Guide To The Top 25
This week’s Deadcast guest is Spencer Hall, chairman of the fully armed and operational Every Day Should Be Saturday. (Listen here, iTunes here.) This week’s mission? WE BE HATIN’....

Scoop Jackson Loses His Mind, Again
Scoop on Brett Favre: "If he were a woman, he wouldn't be able to get away with this and still be respected, because this is not the behavior of respectable ladies...They have names for women like that." [ESPN.com]...

Dirk Nowitzki's Possibly Pregnant Lady Friend Gets Very Real Jail Time
Cristal Taylor was sentenced to four years in prison for violating her probation, which means Dirk Nowitzki's love child (if it indeed exists) could be born in jail. That kid's going to have a story to tell. [Post-Disptach/Blogitude]...

Dan Patrick Radio Listeners: If You Need Some Tasty Ear Candy To Jumpstart Your Tuesday...
It turns out SI's Dan Patrick is filming a scene for an upcoming Adam Sandler movie tomorrow so he needs fill-ins. Who'd he pick? Unfortunately for non-deaf America, not the ESL strippers from Rick's Cabaret....

Isn't Anyone Here Even Hard Of Hearing?
When Ghana sent a deaf soccer team to Australia, they neglected to actually send any deaf people. But it's not cheating, because the Aussies' deaf soccer team included only three hearing-impaired players!...

The One With Bizarro Topless Eric Snow And Other Things
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW)...

If A Photo Of A Norwegian Black Metal Band Is On Deadspin, That Means Shit Is Seriously Messed Up
For real. This is the first snow day since I've been at Gawker, but the server problems are quite severe this time site-wide and it's making everyone's day miserable. So we're shutting it down for today....

Finally, a No-Hassle Way to Receive Semen From a Dude That Looks Like This
What mother wouldn't want a puffy, bloated, thick-necked bouncing baby boy? Thanks to a sperm bank in Los Angeles, you can make your dream of birthing Ben Roethlisberger's baby without sleeping with Ben Roethlisberger come true....

The One With Assorted Handsy Photos And Absurd Complaints
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

What Our Favorite Athletes' Twittering Says About Their Sexuality
You can learn a lot from a person's Twitter account, like "I'm an attention whore," and...well, that's about it. But thanks to a new tool, we can analyze our sports heroes' tweets for clues to their sexual preference....

Chad Ochocinco Tweets By His Own Rules
Ochocinco: "I'm using Twitter during games." NFL: No, you're not. Ochocinco: "Damn NFL and these rules, I am going by my own set of rules, I ain't hurting nobody or getting in trouble, I am putting my foot down!!" [PFT]...

WNBA Star Busted Driving Under The Influence
The Mercury's Diana Taurasi was cited Thursday night in Phoenix, a few hours after her team's win over the Seattle Lone Professional Basketball Franchises....