ns Page 1628 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Goddamn It, I Melted A Cutting Board In The Oven
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
Hold On, Jim Caldwell Went For The Most 4th Downs Last Year?
Football Outsiders published its Aggressiveness Index results yesterday, and came back with a very weird result. Jim Caldwell went for a shitload of fourth downs....
Dumber-er And Awesomer: <i>Furious 7, </i>Reviewed
1. Furious 7 has a scene I have been waiting a long, long time to see in a movie, and it happens twice. Two cars facing each other from opposite sides of the street. Two men, nostrils flaring, glowering, revving their engines, respective erect penises in hand. They shift into gear. They floor it. ...
Paiute Tribal Leader Faces Impeachment For Taking Redskins Gifts
A football autographed by Robert Griffin III ain't worth what it once was. But it might still cost a Utah tribal official her job. ...
Here's Facebook's 2015 MLB Fandom Map
It's that time of year again: time to nod our heads at the fact that baseball fandom is largely geographic, unless you're a goddamned Yankees fan. ...
The Lame Clippers Crowd Made Blake Griffin All Sad
Last night's game between the Warriors and Clippers, a nationally televised contest between two powerful conference rivals, was one of those games that's supposed to come with a "playoff atmosphere," featuring the home fans going nuts and chanting mean things at the visitors and causing all kinds of...
Andros Townsend Waves Hi To Media Hater After Great International Goal
Andros Townsend isn't a great player, but then again, England aren't a great team, so it isn't too much of a surprise that the Spurs winger was called up during this international break, nor that he managed to blast home the tying goal in today's 1-1 draw against Italy. Well, not a surprise to us....
Glen Davis Fined For Kicking Seat Cushion Into Crowd
Glen Davis punted a seat cushion into the stands during a timeout in Sunday's Clippers-Celtics game, and now the forward is out $15,000. Treat those chairs with respect, NBA players. (He got some good distance on it, though.)...
Jameis Winston Fat?
Jameis Winston has always been a stout quarterback, inviting comparisons to Ben Roethlisberger not just for alleged behavioral resemblances, but for physical resemblances as well. As Michael David Smith has noted, there’s definitely some boobage going on. Is Winston fat? I’d say he’s righhhhhht on t...
Report: NFL Team Monitored Jameis Winston On Airplane Flight
With college game film, the combine, pro days, private workouts, and interviews, you'd think NFL teams would have enough time to get to know draft prospects. They always want more, though, and they don't care what they have to do to get it. Per Yahoo's Charles Robinson, Jameis Winston's trainer Geor...
Phillies To Start Serving Hard Liquor And Wine To Fans
Good news for Phillies fans who would like to increase their chances at catching vomit spray from some drunk goon at a ballgame this year: For the first time ever, the team will be selling wine and cocktails on the main concourse at Citizens Bank Park. ...
Warrant Issued For Former Maple Leaf Andre Deveaux
Former NHL player Andre Deveaux was dropped from his Swedish pro team after losing his mind and slashing an opponent in the knee during a pregame warmup. Now, according to Reuters, a warrant for Deveaux’s arrest has been issued....
How About We Just Do Two More Weeks Of Wiggins Vs. Gobert
Listen, man, we're all ready for the NBA regular season to be over and for the playoffs to just start already. Russell Westbrook slaying the world is great and all, but the Raptors and Wizards zombie-shuffling their way toward what will be the saddest first-round playoff series in history while the ...
The Lakers' Pyrrhic Victory Lays Bare The NBA's Flawed Incentives
With the game tied 111-111 with 0.7 seconds left in overtime, the Lakers' Jordan Clarkson made a layup to defeat the 76ers. Clarkson was the 46th pick in the draft, sandwiched between two guys named Dwight Powell and Russ Smith. Both Powell and Smith have already been traded—in Powell's case three...
Bill Simmons's New NBA Podcast Has The Same Theme Music As <i>The Starters</i>
Bill Simmons launched a new podcast this week called Bill Don't Lie (groan). It's the latest place to find Simmons giving endless dissertations of his basketball theories, and there's something a little off about it. As first noticed by a user on NBA Reddit, the intro music to the new podcast is the...
Browns Fined And GM Suspended For Being Supremely Dysfunctional
Because it's only like the 16th most interesting thing to happen to the Browns in the last year, and because the Falcons are being punished—more harshly—at the exact same time, this latest Cleveland mini-fiasco threatens to fly under the radar. Do not let it. It's a perfect example of the team bein...
Shayanna Jenkins: I Have No Idea What Was In The Mystery Box I Threw Out
Aaron Hernandez's fiancée, Shayanna Jenkins, had her second day of testimony at Hernandez's murder trial today, and she spent most of the day fending off the prosecution's questions about a heavy box that Hernandez asked her to get rid of the day after Odin Lloyd was killed....
Falcons Get Fined, Lose Pick, Fire Guy Named Roddy White Over Fake Noise
The NFL puffed up its chest and released a punishment on a Monday morning, announcing that the Falcons would be fined $350,000 and docked a fifth-round draft pick in 2016 for pumping in crowd noise....
Bad Hockey Man Viciously Slashes Opponent During Warmups
Andre Deveaux is a journeyman forward who's bounced around various hockey leagues, including the NHL, and now finds himself playing professionally for Rögle in Sweden. He also finds himself being a tremendous dick, and doing things like slashing an opposing player from behind during pregame warmups....
Canada Man Who Heckles Junior Hockey Games Has No Regrets
Do you remember when you found your calling? It might have happened at a different point in your life than your parents, siblings, or friends. Corey Simms found his about five years ago while watching the St. John's Caps, a junior hockey team based in Newfoundland and Labrador. He decided to yell at...