ns Page 1752 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Habs Gave Away The Series In The Name Of Toughness
This was a game the Canadiens 100 percent needed to win, so of course they handed major and crucial minutes to the league's single worst defenseman—all in the pursuit of toughness, naturally—and watched as he gave the game away....
'Skins Don't Want Former Redskins Great Calling Himself A Redskins Great
Dan Snyder is just the worst, and his worstness reared its head once more yesterday when he sent a cease and desist letter to former Redskins great LaVar Arrington, demanding that Arrington stop calling himself a Redskins great....
Browns Fans Love "Cocky Asshole" Johnny Manziel
With their second pick in the first round of the 2007 draft, the Browns took Brady Quinn at No. 22. With their second pick in the first round of the 2012 draft, the Browns took Brandon Weeden at No. 22. With their second pick in the first round last night, selecting at No. 22, the Browns took...wel...
ESPN's Johnny Manziel Obsession, Visualized
Both the ESPN and NFL Network draft broadcasts were Johnny Football-obsessed tonight, but the Worldwide Leader was especially interested in the Heisman-winning Texan. Led by a drooling Jon Gruden, ESPN mentioned Manziel 113 times—nearly four times as often than any other draftee....
Browns Fuck Up Announcement Of Johnny Manziel Pick, Naturally
Cleveland's Johnny Manziel pick couldn't have been pulled off perfectly! Typos are a tradition for the Browns. ...
Johnny Manziel Goes To Cleveland; Browns Fans Have Rare Moment Of Joy
The Browns will take another shot at this quarterback thing with Johnny Manziel. According to Sal Paolantonio, owner Jimmy Haslam was swayed to pick Manziel by a homeless man. OK....
The Browns Spent Over $100,000 On A Study To Find The Best QB
The Browns have long eyed the 2014 draft as the time to finally get a franchise quarterback. According to reports from both CBS Sports and ESPN, they spent over $100,000 to commission a thorough analytical study to determine the best QB available. The study's reported conclusion? Teddy Bridgewater i...
This Picture Of Three Browns Fans Is Pure Sadness
We'll assume that their other two buddies, the ones in the Weeden and McCoy jerseys, are meeting up with them later. Either that, or they were crushed by a falling piano earlier in the day....
Who Does Jameis Winston Think He Is—Joe Namath?
A story about the other famous shoplifting quarterback, excerpted from the book Rising Tide: Bear Bryant, Joe Namath and Dixie's Last Quarter....
Soccer Player Rushes To Stands To Applaud His Goal
FK Trakai's Dzimtry Koub scored an 86th minute equalizer in yesterday's Lithuanian A Lyga match against Zalgiris Vilnius, and immediately sprinted into the stands to give himself some polite applause. That he did it at an away match makes it even better....
Charles Barkley, Doing Something Obscene
He says this is how he eats churros. We all know what Chuck's really getting at, though....
FSU Artist Behind Jameis Winston Fellatio Painting Explains Inspiration
For those who wanted an explanation for the colorful painting of Florida State quarterback Jameis Winston getting blown by a Pi Kappa Alpha brother, we received an email from Lena NW, the FSU art major who created it. She elucidated her inspiration behind the work....
Surprise: A Hockey Player Lied About His Concussion
I read this quote from Columbus's James Wisniewski with more resignation than frustration. From the Dispatch, he's talking about going head-first into the boards in the sixth and deciding game of the Blue Jackets' first-round series loss to Pittsburgh:...
Ha Ha Clinton-Dix Took Photos Of Napping Draft Prospects
Draft week is exhausting for prospects—they're hustled from meeting to meeting, media appearance to media appearance, with the only opportunity for some rest the bus rides in between. Earlier today, Alabama safety Ha'Sean "Ha Ha" Clinton-Dix put together a photo essay of his fellow prospects napping...
Unobservant Fan Nearly Decapitated By Foul Ball
Everyone knows that the one thing you absolutely have to do when sitting behind one of the baselines is never take your eyes off the plate. This guy did not adhere to that rule, and he very nearly got his head taken off. ...
FiveFingers Maker Will Pay Millions To Suckers Who Bought Its Shoes
The favorite toe-shoe of vegan restaurant servers and 55-year-old men with ponytails has settled a class action lawsuit brought against it by what sounds like every person who ever wore its foot-condoms....
Dear Abby Runs Clearly Fake Letter From Woman Asking What Twerking Is
How many letters do you think "Dear Abby" receives in a day? Hundreds? Thousands? Enough, surely, that the advice column (now written by Jeanne Phillips) wouldn't need to run a fake letter. But you'll probably find this one in your local paper today, and we're pretty sure it's not authentic....
Artifact: The "Quiet Founder" Of ESPN's $10 Million Stock Certificate
Long before ESPN was nestled against Disney's ample corporate bosom, Getty Oil owned 85 percent of the barely sentient TV network. The other 15 percent was owned by the group of entrepreneurs and speculators who got ESPN off the ground. This certificate for 100 shares belonged to one of them, Don R...
What The Hell Happened With This Bruins Column?
Montreal beat Boston 4-2 last night to take a 2-1 series lead. But forget about that. Just read Joe Haggerty's column at CSN New England. Or, rather, read the cached version of the column posted at 2 a.m., about six hours before editors finally replaced it with something that isn't gibberish. ...
These Neat Compression Shorts Have A Helpful Dick Pouch
For guys who find compression shorts too restrictive on their junk, there's good news. You can buy these support shorts with an optional dick pouch. Leave essentially nothing to the imagination!...