ns Page 1763 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Harold Reynolds Announces Revolutionary Findings In Physics
As Yasiel Puig and Josh Hamilton recently found out, sliding into first base is a dumb idea. It is, first, a good way to get hurt, and also everyone knows that it doesn't get you to the bag any faster, because the gains you make by getting closer to the bag are canceled out by negative acceleration...
Jose Abreu And Danny Salazar Make Meaningless Game Something Special
If you're the kind of person who lacks the requisite attention span to sit through all nine innings of a baseball game, last night's game between the White Sox and Indians was perfect for you. You only needed to stick around for five innings of baseball in order to catch all of the awesomeness packe...
<em>The Daily Show</em> Takes Down The NCAA
With the NCAA tournament at a close, and the recent decision allowing Northwestern football players to vote on forming a union, Jon Stewart and The Daily Show decided to tackle an issue near and dear to our hearts. Never has the exploitation of teenagers been funnier. ...
Andre Iguodala Ruins Quincy Miller's Life With Incredible Crossover
This is just mean. Poor Quincy Miller thought he was playing smart, heads-up basketball by pressuring the ball-handler, and then Andre Iguodala just goes ahead and turns him into a marionette without strings....
Hawk Harrelson Should Probably Not Suggest "Asians" Are "Deceptive"
Chen-Chang Lee is a pitcher for the Indians. He's from Taiwan. During tonight's broadcast of Cleveland's bout in Chicago against the White Sox, horrible broadcaster Ken "Hawk" Harrelson painted Lee with some broad and ambiguously racist strokes....
If This Is How MLB's New Home-Plate Rule Will Be Applied, We Hate It [Update]
In the fourth inning of today's Pirates-Cubs game, even the WGN announcers were incredulous that Starlin Castro was ruled safe on this play at the plate. It turned out to be the first questionable use of a new MLB rule meant to crack down on collisions at the plate....
Mike Francesa Could Not Give Less Of A Shit About The Ultimate Warrior
You think the Sports Pope wants to sit here and spend his day talking about professional wrestling? Get a clue. Francesa could cah less about that gahbage....
Here's A Bunch Of ESPN Personalities Reciting The Gettysburg Address
You're probably wondering why the hell this exists. Well, it appears that Ken Burns is working on a documentary about the Gettysburg Address, and this is some kind of promo clip for it. ...
David Ortiz Goes On Slowest Home Run Trot On Record
Thanks to our friends at Tater Trot Tracker, who have been timing home run trots for years now, we know that nobody takes his time getting around the bases quite like David Ortiz does....
The MLB Pundits Are Back. Will They Be Less Of A Disaster In 2014?
In what is becoming an annual tradition, we ask the question: Will this year finally be the one where the baseball pundits turn it around? After a string of terrible prediction seasons from 2009-2012 (see details), the "experts" followed it up with a truly pitiful 2013, in which no one picked either...
Andrelton Simmons Makes Impossible Throw Look Easy
Andrelton Simmons's defense is one of the is one of the very best things baseball has going for it right now. Last night, the Atlanta Braves shortstop made a play that will break your brain. ...
Marc-Andre Fleury Makes An Unreal, Tumbling Shootout Save
Penguins goalie Marc-Andre Fleury had a brilliant save in tonight's shootout against the Red Wings, rolling right and stretching his glove out just in time to catch Daniel Alfredsson's backhand attempt. The effort was impressive as hell....
Jeff Withey Completes The Rare Pass Off Of The Referee's Head
Pelicans center Jeff Withey's pass was swatted by Eric Bledsoe, right into the noggin of official Bennie Adams and back to Withey. You can hear the "doink!" sound in your head....
Watch The Marvelous Pregame Show Projected Onto A CHL Team's Rink
Last month, the Cleveland Cavaliers used a projection system on their court for a cool pregame video, and this week, a CHL club did something similar on their rink....
Adam Jones Is Sick And Tired Of Fans Running Onto The Field
In the eighth inning of yesterday's Orioles' blowout of the Yankees, a pair of fans rushed the field. They were quickly swarmed by more security guys then I've ever seen on a ballfield:...
Atlético Madrid Beat Barça In Champions League, Dream Season Continues
It's all fun and games cheering on plucky upstarts Atlético Madrid, right up until the point they tear out your heart and play keepy-uppy with it. So excuse me if I'm not appropriately excited about Atlético's thoroughly deserved and enjoyable-for-neutrals 1-0 Champions League win over Barcelona....
Sad Man United Score Great Goal, Then Get Pounded In Champions League
So...the gig's up. Manchester United, who have played like absolute dog shit all season long, almost definitely won't play in the Champions League next season. After drawing defending CL champions FC Bayern last week in the first leg of their quarterfinal, they needed to avoid a loss in Germany to a...
What UConn's Breanna Stewart Means To Women's Basketball
Last night, sophomore forward Breanna Stewart led her UConn Huskies to their second-straight NCAA title and ninth overall. Her stat line offered a little of everything: 21 points, nine rebounds, four assists, two blocks. "The first Durantesque player in the women's game," her coach, Geno Auriemma, c...
Bitchy Pats Fans Harass Brandon Spikes After He Talks About Winning
Linebacker Brandon Spikes left the Patriots after four seasons to sign with the Buffalo Bills. New England didn't seem to want him back, and the parting seemed amicable. But that won't stop some Patriots fans from overreacting when Spikes talked about beating the Patriots today in the most boring wa...