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![Andy Pettitte Does A Frankie Five Angels At The Roger Clemens Trial [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17lez0osc0u4ejpg.jpg)
Andy Pettitte Does A Frankie Five Angels At The Roger Clemens Trial [UPDATE]
Andy Pettitte was supposed to be the prosecution's star witness at the perjury trial of Roger Clemens. According to the Los Angeles Times, Pettitte was the only person expected to say under oath that Clemens had used human growth hormone other than Clemens's former trainer, Brian McNamee. But when P...
An Italian Soccer Manager Punched His Own Player In The Face During The Match
Fiorentina manager Delio Rossi attacked player Adem Ljajic during today's match against Novara, taking offense to Ljajic's sarcastic applause after Rossi substituted for him early in the match. Ljajic—who just last week was considered a lock for a transfer to Arsenal—was apparently in poor form as...
Fabrice Muamba Returned To Reebok Stadium For Today's Bolton-Tottenham Match
Six weeks after suffering the cardiac arrest that stopped his heart for 78 minutes, Bolton midfielder Fabrice Muamba returned to greet fans and players for today's Bolton-Tottenham Hotspur match at Reebok Stadium. It's fitting for him to come back today, as it was at the Spurs' White Hart Lane Mua...
The NFL Suspended Some Of The Saints Defense For 2012, But, On The Bright Side, They Weren't Good Anyway
The word came down not so long ago from Roger Goodell's mountaintop: Saints middle linebacker Jonathan Vilma will sit out the whole season, and end Will Smith misses four games. Ex-Saint tackle Anthony Hargrove, now with the Packers, gets eight games, and Scott Fujita, now on the Browns, gets three....
Most NFL Players Aren't Happy With The Latest Saints Suspensions, Surprising Nobody
Roger Goodell handed down the suspension of four Saints today for their involvement in the bounty program that initially led to multiple suspensions among the coaching staff and front office. Most notably, linebacker Jonathan Vilma is out for the year, and defensive end Anthony Hargrove is gone for ...
Today's Lesson In Sportsmanship Comes From The Islamic Republic of Iran
On a day when we learn of the lengthy suspensions handed down to New Orleans Saints players amidst the bounty scandal, here's a palate cleanser of sportsmanship (or, as they like to call it in the soccer world, Fair Play) that took place yesterday in Dubai....
Alejandro De Aza Doubles On An Infield Pop-Up
When he came to the plate in the bottom of the third, White Sox centerfielder Alejandro De Aza wisely swung at the first pitch. That's because his at-bat followed Gordon Beckham's home run, and there was still smoke in the air as a result of the ensuing fireworks. The best part of the video below mi...
Flyers Columnist Claims Continent-Wide Conspiracy Against The Flyers, Screws Up Fact That Undermines Entire Argument
When Matt Read wasn't named a Calder Trophy finalist, it was understandable, but Philly fans were irked. ...
Haughty Dipshit Gregg Easterbrook Makes Us Ask: What <em>Is</em> A Glory Boy?
If you've hung out around this site in the past, you know that we consider ESPN fartsniffer Gregg Easterbrook to be a haughty dipshit. When Easterbrook isn't spending inches of column space attacking the plot holes in an episode of Human Target (He does just that this week, which is timely!), he's i...
Joe Cowley Put On "Final Notice" After His Sexist Twitter Tirade
Chicago Sun-Times columnist and intern hater Joe Cowley has been put on final notice, according to one Chicago media critic with sources at the paper. ...
Atlanta Hawks Fans Are Not The Most Welcoming
Unlike many of my esteemed Deadspin colleagues, I am not blessed to live the Big Apple, a city of vogue fashion and style. The only reason I recognize the Chanel logo on this Hawks fan's bizarre t-shirt is because my grandmother has worn Chanel No. 5 for 60 years and we buy it for her every Christm...
You Can Lead A Baseball Fan In A Horse Mask To Beer, But You Can't Make Him Drink It
This video has nothing to do with ESPN, Sarah Phillips, or parody Twitter accounts. It has everything to do with baseball, beer, and horses. You know, the important stuff....
Omar Vizquel Was Ejected From A Game In Which He Wasn't Even Playing
Home plate umpire Sam Holbrook ejected veteran Blue Jays infielder Omar Vizquel from tonight's Texas-Toronto game for arguing balls and strikes. That's a big no-no in the umps-rule-all majors, of course, but tonight's twist is that Vizquel wasn't even in the game at the time; Holbrook took offens...
John Smoltz Crashes A Go-Kart? John Smoltz Crashes A Go-Kart.
John Smoltz crashes a go-kart....
Joe Cowley Has Been "Reprimanded Appropriately," Reports Paper That's Not The <i>Sun-Times</i>
Boy, how did the Sun-Times get scooped on this one? Their columnist Joe Cowley spends years trolling everyone, degrading women, and just acting like an all-around dick, and he finally gets in trouble, and I have to read about it in the Tribune? I guess the Sun-Times isn't your one-stop shop for all ...
Padres Fan With Arm In Sling Catches Foul Ball With Other Hand
What's more impressive is that he actually tips it to himself. [MLB]...
Rick Carlisle's "Dirty Bullshit Has Got To Stop" Led To An <em>Inside The NBA</em> Discussion Of Profanity In Popular Music
Mavericks head coach Rick Carlisle showed some frustration after Oklahoma City's 102-99 win over Dallas tonight, especially in regard to this incident between Dirk Nowitzki and Kendrick Perkins, one that might look mild when compared with certain proponents of World Peace but an example of the phy...
Maybe The Marlins Just Suck
There's a numbers-heavy post up on Fish Stripes today suggesting that the 8-14 Marlins are due for a regression and an improvement. Let me make this counterargument: they're not. They might just suck....
Twitter Asshole Joe Cowley Had Me Fired From The <i>Sun-Times</i>
It's fitting that it was on Twitter where Joe Cowley finally pushed the wrong buttons and clued everyone in to just what an ass he is. Because it was Twitter that provoked tough guy Joe into throwing his weight around, and getting me fired from the first journalism job I ever had. ...
Better Dirty Than Humbled: The Lights Go Down On The Bernard Hopkins Show
ATLANTIC CITY, N.J.—For years, Bernard Hopkins has entered the ring for each of his fights wearing a black balaclava, only his eyes visible, arms crossed overhead in an "X" to signify his nickname, "The Executioner." Outside the ring, he's a chatty bald man with a flattened nose and kindly eyes, now...