ns Page 2105 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Teabagger Brian Downing's Lawyers: The Murder Rate Is Too Damn High To Worry About Teabagging
Brian Downing, the alleged Alabama teabagger, has, since surrendering a week ago, found himself some lawyers. And those lawyers—Michael Kennedy and Miles Swanson—have found Deadspin's email addresses. Their words, on the sexual battery charges in New Orleans:...
Here's Video And A Transcript Of Nike Chairman Phil Knight's Vehement Defense Of Joe Paterno
At today's public memorial for Joe Paterno, Nike's Phil Knight called Joe Paterno his "hero" and launched a counterattack against Penn State for the manner in which the university fired its head football coach. Here's the video (from BTN) and the broadcast transcript (unedited) from Knight's eulo...
Wes Welker Is Engaged To A Former Miss Hooters International Girl
"He makes her breakfast in bed. She made him flannel pajamas with cowboy boots on them for Christmas." They're, like, delightfully tacky, yet refined. [Boston Herald]...
Last Night's Ohio-Central Michigan Women's Basketball Game Got A Bit Chippy-Wa
Apologies for the lousy video quality, but here's a fight that erupted between Ohio's Porsha Harris and CMU's Jas'Mine Bracey during the Chippewas' 67-53 win over the Bobcats last night in Mount Pleasant....
Somebody Let Dirk Nowitzki Have The Microphone Again, And The Results Were <em>Äußerst Komisch</em>
Dirk Nowitzki's occasional stints as a TV analyst have led to catchphrases including "Take Dat With You," which became an unofficial rallying cry for last year's Mavericks. Dirk's grunts and ejaculations are funny, for sure—even if sometimes in a "does my breath smell funny" or "does my car sound ...
Clover-Nipple Man, The Unofficial Conductor Of The Notre Dame Fight Song
Your morning roundup for Jan. 26, the day somebody finally tried to do something about all that cannibalism out there. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Lawrence Taylor, On If He Is A Changed Man After Getting Busted With An Underage Prostitute: "No"
In a meandering and bizarre interview aired Wednesday night on Showtime's Inside The NFL, Hall of Famer Lawrence Taylor attempted to respond to questions about his 2010 arrest for soliciting an underage prostitute but mostly left the impression that more trouble's in his future....
Your "Oh No, It's 3:30 A.M. " Liveblog Of Federer-Nadal At The Australian Open
Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer are set to meet in the Australian Open semifinals on Thursday, in a match scheduled to begin at 3:30 a.m. ET. It's the 27th time the pair have met on a tennis court, with the Majorcan matador holding a 17-9 edge all-time, 7-2 in Grand Slams. The meeting is notable, con...
Don't Correct Michael Strahan's Grammar Or He May Suggest You Suck Your Dad's Dick
This is purportedly a series of Twitter direct messages sent from Michael Strahan to one Lindsey Koehler after the exchange in the above gallery....
Some Guy From Queens Apparently Got Eli And Peyton Manning Tattooed On His Hairy Ass
Writes tipster Derek B., "My buddy got this tattoo Eli giving Peyton a noogie today. He's a huge Giants fan."...
It Seems As If The Big Yankees Fan Has Mentally Left The Ball Park
Explains Michael Lapayower, "This is a parody of 'Sh*t Girls say.' All MLB Baseball fan's say Let's go (there favorite team name). I'm sure there's a bunch of things I didn't say. Leave them below in the comments."...
Jay Cutler Is Not A Winner Because He Doesn't Smile At Bears Employees, Writes Crazy Person
I'm not sure where to begin with this column by Rick Telander of the Chicago Sun-Times. The headline says it's about Jay Cutler, but the first half of it has nothing to do with Jay Cutler—it's all about Tom Brady and Eli Manning, since they're in the Super Bowl. By the time Telander gets to telling...
A J.P. Morgan Vice President Has Very Specific Tactical Plans For His Rec League Basketball Team
The latest entry in our overwrought emails series comes from the world of high finance... rec-league basketball. A vice president at J.P. Morgan in London is very enthusiastic about the upcoming season. But he's not gonna stand for his players flailing around on the court, like Mike D'Antoni might. ...
Ravens Defensive Coordinator Chuck Pagano Is The New Colts Head Coach
So report Pro Football Talk and Bob Kravitz. He's the fourth Ravens DC to run a team in recent years. With forebears like Mike Nolan, Marvin Lewis, and Rex Ryan, Pagano's destined for 8-8!...
This College Hockey Announcer Pauses, Ostensibly To Choose The Perfect Words, And Then Says "Dick Around With The Puck" (UPDATE)
Wisconsin played University of Minnesota-Duluth in December. The game, broadcast on the Big Ten Network, was a 3-3 tie. Somehow we only got this video now, courtesy of reader Daniel. Hey, beats Joe Micheletti....
Ray Lewis's Postgame Speech Might Actually Make You Feel Sorry For The Ravens
You know what's boring? The scene in a winning locker room. The real holy grail is seeing a team after they've just been kicked in the balls, like Baltimore after their heartbreaking loss at Foxboro on Sunday. The Ravens uploaded video of Ray Lewis's speech to his teammates, in which he praises Fl...
A Plea To Joe Posnanski: Stop Writing Mealy-Mouthed Nonsense About Joe Paterno
Sports Illustrated's Joe Posnanski is in a tough spot. He's a gifted writer and by all appearances a decent guy. His decency is his defining characteristic; he grew up rooting for doomed Cleveland teams and covered the worthless Kansas City Royals, but he never gave in to the urge to be a hatchet ma...
It Sounds Like The Bruins Are Ready To Say Goodbye To Tim Thomas, Free Citizen
When Tim Thomas declined to accompany the Bruins to the White House, he was quick to assure everyone that "this was not about politics." Well, guess what Tim, now it's about something even more important: hockey. ...
Novak Djokovic Gives Appropriately Stupid Answer To Jim Courier's Incredibly Stupid Question
The television networks employ former athletes as analysts because of the uncommon insight they can offer from having been there. Those ex-athletes will, on occasion, uphold their end of the bargain by informing us of something we might not have known or understood without the benefit of their per...
Report: Wisconsin's Former Associate AD Resigned Because He Allegedly Groped A Male Subordinate
John Chadima resigned as the associate athletic director at the University of Wisconsin just after returning from the Rose Bowl earlier this month. Turns out he is accused of groping a male subordinate while at a party on that trip, according to what a source told WKOW, a television station in Madi...