ns Page 2167 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The NFL "Fineable Offenses" List, As Interpreted By The Underpant Gnomes
Apparently, the National Football League distributed its "list of fineable offenses" to players and others today. Tweeted Vikings kicker Chris Kluwe, "Some scallywag decided to condense the list down," a comment accompanied by photography....
Terry Bradshaw Doesn't Seem To Realize That Hawaii Is A State
During tonight's Philadelphia Eagles/Pittsburgh Steelers preseason game, conversation in the Fox Sports booth turned to Troy Polamalu and Hawaii. Here's a quick synopsis:...
Jim McMahon, Six Former Players Cite NFL "Negligence And Intentional Misconduct" In Brain Injury Related Lawsuit
In what's the first potential class-action lawsuit of its kind, seven former NFL players filed suit against the league today accusing it of "negligence and intentional misconduct in its response to the headaches, dizziness and dementia that former players have reported."...
Announcer Is Sorry His "One-Eyed Jimmy" "Just Came Out"
In the most MLS injury ever, Jimmy Neilsen, the Danish goalkeeper for Sporting Kansas City, was hit in the eye with a flying Omar Bravo bobblehead last night. He laid on the pitch for about four minutes, got stitched up, and returned to play in a 3-1 win over Portland....
Former Miami Walk-On Calls Out The NCAA's Hypocritical Racket
"The NCAA has duped people into believing this multibillion-dollar industry is pursued for the sake of amateurism. It's a total sham. The coaches aren't amateurs, the administrators aren't amateurs, the corporate sponsors and media companies aren't amateurs. The only 'amateurs' involved are the guys...
Islanders Decide Not To Showcase Bloody Brawl After All
"...the party will go on, but the Islanders and MSG Network have agreed to switch the game to a victory over the Sabres in which Michael Grabner's hat trick goal was the winner." [Sports Illustrated]...
NFL Suspends Terrelle Pryor For Breaking The NCAA's Rules
The NFL announced today it will essentially suspend Terrelle Pryor, a player who isn't in the NFL, for violating rules that aren't the NFL's. This is really incredible, and the most incredible part is that what should happen in a sane and just world—Pryor hires a very good attorney who buries the NF...
This Guy May Be The Biggest High School Football Fan In The History Of The Game
This is divalover159's "shout out to the knox city greyhounds." And "this is the team of the Knox city greyhounds." They're a high-school football team from Texas. They play a scrimmage tomorrow night. Good luck, divalover159. Your time is now. Your time is here....
Some German Soccer Fans Don't Throw Bottles Of Pee And Poo At Foes, But These Ones Did
The German newspaper's headline was "Shit hits the fans at Bundesliga match." That's a hefty burden up to which a story must live. Let's see if this one does:...
Jim Thome Is Just A "Big, Friendly Farm Boy," And Other Aw-Shucks Observations
On Monday night, Minnesota's Jim Thome became the eighth player in MLB history to hit 600 career home runs. Sports media has declared that not enough people noticed his feat (to its credit, though, the condom sector did). So let us humbly praise the humble man who is, in the immortal words of Tim Ku...
I Hope Andy Dalton's Head Was Worth $20K To Ndamukong Suh
Ndamukong Suh burst into the NFL by trying to wrench Jake Delhomme's skull from his torso, perhaps to keep on his mantel. Suh seems to be making a habit of thinning the mediocre QB herd in preseason, with this weekend's takedown of Cincinnati's Andy Dalton....
Torii Hunter Gets Trapped In An Oxygen Chamber, Pisses In a Bottle, Tweets
In need of a little rejuvenation after the Angels' 7-3 loss last night to the Rangers, Torii Hunter entered a clubhouse oxygen chamber, thinking that would do the trick. It's not known what happened next—whether Hunter stayed in the chamber too long and was forgotten about, or whether no one realiz...
Two Fellows Very Surprised By The Miami Allegations: Luke Campbell And Al Golden
Nevin Shapiro, even behind bars, takes pride in the fact that Miami players referred to him as "Little Luke." Not because he so horny, but because he so generous with his money when it came to taking care of the Hurricanes. Naturally, the first place we look to for reaction this morning is to Big Lu...
Care To Read Another Lengthy Evisceration Of Grantland?
"What could have been high-concept—The New Yorker for sports, or something similar but more fun—is instead a cross between kitty litter mags Vanity Fair and New York Magazine at its absolute best and a shitty buddy blog for sports and entertainment at its worst." [BryanJoiner.com]...
Last Night Some Florida Lady Tried To Beat Up Her Girlfriend With A Strap-On
Young love is never as pretty as they make it look on television, in your 90210 or Friday Night Lights. Instead of runny mascara, the young ladies of Bradenton, Florida have given us strap-on violence....
Novak Djokovic Pulled The Old "Hit A Reporter In The Balls While He's Examining Your Tennis Racket" Trick
Anyone who knows anything can tell you that French Canadians are really just here for our amusement. Sure, you get your occasional Avril Lavigne here or there, a crossover superstar, but mostly, it's a sea of Erik Bedards and Jean Chrétiens....
Deadspin I-Team: Which Miami Player Necessitated A Stripper's Abortion?
The latest Yahoo Sports NCAA investigation is more of the usual: a lot of investigative horsepower and details devoted to NCAA rules that don't make a whole lot of sense in the first place. But, as Barry tweeted, this story, unlike SI's Tressel investigations, has stripper abortions....
Video: A Clown's-Eye View Of This Weekend's Gathering Of The Juggalos (NSFW)
Animal New York's Bucky Turco joined me at the 12th annual Gathering this past weekend. He fearlessly tracked down the most wretched photographs and videos to be found at the campground. Here's a brief sampling. Do not watch this at work....
Dropping In On The Demented Utopia Of The Gathering Of The Juggalos
I have infinite shortcomings as a Juggalette, but here are my two main ones: I can't say "titties" with a straight face, even when my face is covered with clown makeup. And I do not have any desire ever to show my own titties to crowds of ravenous young men I do not know. Many women at the 12th annu...
Watch Batting Stance Guy's Creepily Accurate Impressions Of All Your Least Favorite MLB Reporters
There's Terrorized Tim Kurkjian, precious Pedro Gomez, particular Peter Gammons, and Jon fucking Heyman....