ns Page 2264 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Step Off, Leibovitz: The Big Unit Is Here To Photograph Rock Stars
That blurry behemoth of a man is future-Hall-of-Famer-turned-amateur-concert-photographer Randy Johnson at Lollapalooza this weekend. He was there to shoot Soundgarden for his own edification because that's what he does now....

The Latest Attempt To Satanize Your Children: School Mascots
A Georgia pastor was arrested for protesting (without a permit) his son's high school's nickname, the Demons. Never mind that it's actually named for a WWII squadron. No one tell the pastor about Wake Forest; his head would explode. [WMAZ]...

Former Basketball Player Ends Congressional Bid As It Began: Crazily
Remember Kevin Millen? The former Georgetown basketball player no one remembered who ran for Congress in Tennessee on a campaign of paranoia and family values and batshit insanity? He lost. But at least he's fired off one last batshit insane email....

Philadelphia Eagles Lineman Doesn't Like It When <em>True Blood</em> Goes Super Gay
Philadelphia Eagles offensive lineman, Todd Herremans, posted this lovely Tweet this morning but then soon realized he may come off like a gay vampire-hating fool. Or, at least, the Eagles did. [Where's Weems?]...

Craigslist Satisfies Your Minnesota Twins Jockstrap Fetish Needs
Someone claiming to be a Minnesota locker room attendant is offering jockstraps from "handsome players," including Joe Mauer and Kevin Slowey. For an extra few bucks, he won't throw in Ron Gardenhire's. [Craigslist]...

Chivalry Is Dead: Man Ducks Foul Ball Before It Hits Girlfriend
You've got three options when confronted with a liner: catch it, protect your seatmates, or dive for cover as it ricochets off the woman you love. Astros fan Bo chose that last one....

What In God's Name Is Tim Duncan Doing To That Whale?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The NFL's Hall Of Fame Enshrinement Speeches, AutoSummarized
For those who missed all the speechifying Saturday in Canton—during which Rickey Jackson made Emmitt Smith sound like Cicero, and Chris Berman spent 22 minutes committing what I'm certain were several felony counts of public masturbation—we offer a summary....

After Photography Ban, Soccer Game Covered By Cartoonist
League One side Southampton banned all photographers from their stadium for this weekend's match. The visiting team's newspaper handled it well, reducing the comical situation to, well, a comic....

World Sauna Championships End In Death
The finals of the annual Sauna Championships in Finland went horribly wrong, with the Russian competitor dying after suffering severe burns from withstanding 230-degree temperatures for six minutes. The Finn retained his title by only having to go to the hospital. [BBC]...

Weekend Winner: A Brand New PED Excuse
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like our nation's poor, overtrained athletes like Brian Cushing, who says he flunked his drug test only because he worked out so hard....

Desperate For Excitement, Pirates Announcers Melt Down After Big Win
This is Greg Brown (play-by-play) and Steve Blass (childlike enthusiasm) calling the Bucs' walk-off win on Saturday. If Pittsburgh ever has a good season, Blass's head may explode. [h/t Steve]...

No-Name Hoopster Mocks LeBron, Makes Name Briefly Known
I don't know who this Anthony Tolliver cat thinks he is. I like his style, punctuation and use of wolf-call special effects, though....

Ref: The Steelers Probably Wouldn't Have Won Super Bowl XL Without Me
Remember when the Seattle Seahawks totally got jobbed out of a Super Bowl trophy? Referee Bill Leavy does. Here's what he said during a lil chat with the Seattle media yesterday:...

Jeremy Shockey, Multitasking In A Port-A-Potty
Portable toilet passing drills seem to be all the rage, with the Chiefs and Saints both taking advantage of, um, doors that close, to cut down on reaction time. Things went horribly wrong when linemen simultaneously used the johns as tackling dummies. [via RandBall]...

John Salley Story Corner: Rick Mahorn's Bad Boy Luck
Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: Rick Mahorn got expansion-drafted by the Timberwolves....

ESPN Radio Intern Inadvertently Scratches Junk On Camera
It's been a while since we heard about a sports radio intern doing something untoward but look at what we have here. Intern Alex of Primetime with Isaac and Big Suke, we offer you our praise and condolences. [Bob's Blitz]...

Donovan McNabb Has A Small Child In His Locker
Click to view Don't call Chris Hansen; Chris Cooley put it there to leap out and scare McNabb after the new QB finishes up with the media. Spoiler alert: it works. [Cooley Zone]...

Nationals Pitcher Shaves Mustache, Gains Ability To Pitch
Collin Balester was having trouble. He had a great mustache, but he wasn't pitching well at all. He had beaned Rickie Weeks and Mark Reynolds in the head. He needed to make a radical change. The mustache, unfortunately, would have to go....

Lady Footballer In Humiliating Handball Mix Up!
As embarrassing mistakes go, this one is up there with accidentally calling your teacher "Mummy", or unknowingly leaving your flies open during a bumpy bus journey....