ns Page 2265 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Porno For Pyros In The Minors
Come out to the Savannah Sand Gnats game next Saturday. There'll be food giveaways, and live music, and, oh yeah, one lucky fan gets to light a man on fire....

<em>Sun-Times</em> Going Hard On UK's Pay-For-Play Recruit
The paper reported rumors, that highly-prized Anthony Davis accepted $200,000 to choose Kentucky. UK's lawyers got involved, and the editors pulled the paragraph...for a day. Now the Sun-Times is fighting back, with more detailed, sourced allegations. This should be fun....

Last Night's Winner: The Case For Robot Umpires
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the fallibility of man, or at least of third base umpire Bob Davidson, whose blown call cost the Marlins the game....

FSU Cowgirl Friend Of Jenn Sterger's Corroborates Favre Voicemail, Cock Photo
No, it's not 60 Minutes, but Playboy radio interviewed former FSU Girl and "friend" of Jenn Sterger, Allison Torres, who is surprised The Favre Dong story has surfaced now. Jenn showed her the photo of it two years ago, she said....

Karen Sypher Found Guilty, No Blowjobs For Anyone For A While
Sypher was found guilty on all six charges in her attempted extortion of Rick Pitino, and likely faces at least seven years in prison. [Courier-Journal]...

Fan Won't Let A Little Downpour Chase Him From His Seat, Dilute His Beers
Braving the daily torrent of South Florida last night was this stalwart Phillies fan, who refused to move from his seat during a rain delay, and refused to take his thumbs out of his beer bottles. [Thanks to Nick for the video]...

Minor League Promotion Will Put You Off Eating For A While
It wasn't your typical eating contest last night at Eastlake Stadium, home of the Indians' single-A club. No, it spanned nine innings, with nine different courses (that's Spam in the photo), and ended in vomit, vomit everywhere....

Your Brett Favre Cock Story Backlash Roundup
Welcome back to the heaving underbelly of the internet. That incessant hum you hear is because some people are all atwitter about the ethics and legitimacy of a post on this site. Read and enjoy....

Joe Paterno And Dean Smith, Going Out On Their Own, Very Different Terms
Observations that Paterno's health — body and mind — have declined noticeably should be heartbreaking. So why aren't we as sad about it as we ought to be?...

Can Statistics Prove Once And For All Who Used Steroids?
Two labor economists released a study showing an increase in power numbers by Canseco's teammates which abruptly stopped when MLB instituted random steroid testing. Unfortunately, it also predicts another cycle of "I Guess We Have To Listen To Jose Canseco" talk. [Slate]...

Not A Whole Lot Happening At Training Camp
Here's a roundup of training camp stories from around the league....

"'Brett Favre Once Sent Me Cock Shots": Not A Love Story
Here’s another reason Brett Favre should stay retired this time: Turns out The Daily Line’s Jenn Sterger has kept a ridiculously disturbing (but HILARIOUS) secret about her interactions with The Gunslinger while they were both part of the Jets organization....

Why The Hell Are Scientists Actively Trying To Enrage Monkeys?
When a lede mentions that "a new study in monkey-antagonism has found" research that "could pave the way for advanced methods of enraging monkeys" you keep reading and then start to ask questions. Questions like: "The hell?" and "Why does this exist?"...

Pick Against The Youngstown State Penguins At Your Own Risk, Pollsters
Here's coach, on their 7th place MVC ranking: "In some parts of this world we live in, if you disrespect someone, you may lose your life. Right or wrong. I don't handle disrespect well, and I'm sure my players won't either." [MyValleySports]...

Reporter Interviewing An Ice Sculptor? What Can Possibly Go Wrong?
The world would be a far worse place if it weren't for the heroes committing gaffes on local newscasts. Whether they're advocating continued fowl fornicating or digging into whether penis is being enjoyed or not, they light up our lives....

Some Good Comes Out Of Albert Haynesworth's Unathleticsm
Free ice cream for everyone in Bethesda, Md., if Albert Haynesworth can pass his conditioning test....

Forbes Uses Science! To Prove Red Sox Have The Best Fans
The metrics: attendance, merchandise sales, and something called "in-market popularity." Which sounds like most fans rather than best, but who are we to argue with photo slideshows? [Forbes]...

American Footballer’s Soccer-Themed Touchdown Celebration
It was a toss up for the final video treat of the day - between the above, and a rendition of "Fire" by Kasabian, now that it's been unveiled as the official football song for the coming season....

"Those Guys Have All The Fun," Will Make Many "Fun" ESPN Employees Crap Their Pants
There's a creeping paranoia in Bristol thanks to the upcoming 2011 release of Jim Miller's and Tom Shales's massive oral history of ESPN. What filthy skeletons will reveal themselves? Even ESPN execs will have to wait....

X-Games Flasher, Large Photo Make For R-Rated Where's Waldo
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....