ns Page 2281 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Basebrawl Season Is In Full Swing
Thursday's Angels-White Sox game at U.S. Cellular Field featured two things you often see on the South Side these days: a White Sox loss, and a bunch of White Sox fans beating the shit out of each other. H/T BullFightsOnAcid...

Montauk Monster Has Hideous, Equally Baffling Canadian Cousin
A mysterious animal has washed up in a reservoir near the Kitchenuhmaykoosib Band reserve in northern Ontario, but no one can decide exactly what it is. Sound familiar?...

Gay Mexican Edition! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

And On The Eighth Day, God Ejected Lasorda
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Genius Philly Fan Posts The License Plate He Stole From Montreal Writer Online
Everyone knows that all crimes committed immediately following a significant hockey victory cannot be prosecuted under the law, but that rule has always assumed that the suspects aren't complete blockheads who don't know how to keep their mouth shut....

The Pittsburgh Ownership War Heats Up
Pirates owner Bob Nutting is still bitter over the Penguins' ownership group's attempt to buy the Bucs. When the Pirates fired back with a petty, "objective" column (on a team-run site) trashing the Pens for this season's failure, it ignited a firestorm....

Homeless Man Hops Wall, Strolls Across Outfield To Get To Concession Stand
The man interrupted the Altoona Curve's game because "he was thirsty from drinking vodka," so he hopped the outfield wall and made a beeline for the food stand. Actually, that does sound more pressing than completing a Double-A baseball game....

Horse Race Announcer Yells Himself ... Hoarse
Jim Jacques had a little bit of trouble calling this harness race in South Australia over the weekend. The yelling may not have been up to par, but his impression of a asthmatic tracheotomy patient is spot-on. [TabloidProdigy]...

Michael Johnson Was "The Fastest Human Ever," According To Michael Johnson
A new BBC documentary about Usain Bolt—hosted by fellow sprinter Michael Johnson—adoringly mentions the man Bolt beat to claim the "fastest man alive" crown....Michael Johnson! Not mentioned: The one guy who was actually faster than Johnson....

Chiefs' WR Dwayne Bowe On The Mechanics Of Road Beef
Everyone knows that athletes tend to lead swinging lifestyles when they're on the road, but no one is really supposed to talk about it in public. Well, Kansas City wideout Dwayne Bowe just talked about it. A lot....

Woody Paige Wants You To Call A Phone Sex Line
Woody Paige, Around The Horn's resident jester, likes to have a little fun on the show with his trusty chalkboard. Today's message: "Advertise Here: 1-800-555-HORN." What do you get when you call? A message from Paige? A phone-sex line? Could be anything....

Soccer Commentary Can Be Hard To Understand But This Is Ridiculous (Video)
Click to view Tossing it down to a reporter on the scene always carries the risk of going haywire. That was the unfortunate case recently when British soccer's answer to Tony Siragusa was asked if there were any updates about the game. [Today's Big Thing]...

Watch An Intern Talk About Kobe Bryant On CNN
For some reason, CNN asked me for an interview after all that Kobe Bryant photo-shoot business and the Photoshopping you all did. Here it is. I am at your mercy. At least the CNN folks let me wear a shirt. [CNN.com]...

Turkish Soccer Fans Set Fire To Their Own Seats
Fans of Istanbul's Fenerbahce were annoyed that a final day draw gave their hated rivals the Turkish League title, so they rationally decided to tear their home stadium apart from the inside. Yeah, that'll learn 'em. [Daily Mail]...

What A PR Guy Sounds Like When He's Returning Calls About Delonte West Banging LeBron's Mom
Remember all those absurd rumors about LeBron's mother Gloria and oft-benched teammate Delonte West knockin' boots? Well, I called the Cavs and left a fairly detailed message, asking for comment. And the Cavs called back....

Watch The 1972 NBA One-On-One Championship, In All Its Glorious Weirdness
In 1972, the NBA had a one-on-one tournament for $15,000. They played by twos, to 20, win by four. There was a "take-it-out" line that was not the three-point line. The NBA: Where weird but sorta awesome used to happen....

What To Do With Hanley Ramirez?
Ramirez embarrassed his team by jogging after a ball. His manager returned the favor, benching him immediately thereafter. Ramirez spouted off to the press about it. We've got a problem here that can't be fixed by the usual news cycle....

Do You Have An Internship Horror Story? We Want To Hear It
Oh, the joys of being an intern: Calling in lunch orders, mind-numbing filing, licking envelope after envelope. Summer is coming, so chances are some of you readers are embarking on prestigious internships to learn the tricks of your chosen trade....