ns Page 2282 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
All Of Roger Clemens' Physical Gifts Can Be Purchased In This Mystery Discount Box
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Two Very Different Approaches To Honoring Your Contract
Houston's Andre Johnson wants to re-negotiate his seven-year contract that has five years remaining on it. Oguchi Onyewu wants to play for AC Milan so badly, he'll do it for free. Who is the dummy and who is the hero?...
Obvious, Yet Cringe-Inducing Hockey Article Of The Week
The Globe and Mail's James Mirtle wrote a piece this weekend on the potentially catastrophic effects of mouth injuries in the NHL and the "walk-it-off" culture surrounding them. Who's ready to grimace and suck their teeth in fear?...
Softball Conference Champs Just Want To Dance It Out (WINNER'S UPDATE)
Fresh off winning an Atlantic Sun conference championship, the Lipscomb Lady Bisons debuted a coordinated dance routine. Unfortunately, it brought them neither the replenishing rains that would ensure a bountiful harvest nor a Women's College World Series title....
Columnist Who Likened Flyers To Nazis Is Surprised When Philly Fans Slash His Tires
Since the smart money has the Stanley Cup going West, at least the Habs and Flyers can battle it out for the title of North America's most property destructin-est fanbase. Round one goes to Philly....
Paraguayan Soccer Player Rockets In 45-Yard Free Kick
For anyone not satiated by the Lionel Messi goalapalooza from earlier, here is another goal video from a funnily named player in a sports league in a country with which you're vaguely familiar. Somebody buy that man a Baviera. [Goal.com]...
A Special Balls Deep Message To The Class Of 2010
It's graduation time across the country. I've done this post the past two years running, and I don't see new college grads getting any less annoying. So we'd best do it again....
Michael Jordan Likes A Little More Lebensraum In His Hanes
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Mountain <em>Ew</em>!: High School Softball Coach Makes Players Drink Soda From a Shoe
The incident occurred, naturally, at a team slumber party. The drinkers of the unholy union of Drs. Pepper and Scholls had all struck out during a recent game. The coach has since apologized. Also apologizing? Me, for that headline....
Don't Forget to Send In Your Photos and Videos of Preakness Debauchery
Unlimited drinks for $20 means, at the very least, someone's got a picture of a jockey being tossed around like a beach ball against his fiery little will....
One-Eyed Funnyman Steve Nash Responds to Phil Jackson's "Nash Carries the Ball" Dig
"I've never heard anyone accuse me of carrying it...I mean, the best coach in the league, Gregg Popovich, didn't have a problem with it last week." Bam! Man, I can't wait until this series actually starts, sometime in mid-June....
ESPN Wins The Courtship Of Bill Simmons
Bill Simmons is close to re-upping with ESPN, people familiar with the situation say, putting an end to speculation that he might head for a competitor or strike out on his own when his contract expires at year's end....
Stories That Could Have Been Written Three Months Ago: Nick Johnson's Injury May Require Surgery
Brian Cashman crossed his fingers and hoped Nick Johnson would last more than a month, but it appears right after the deal was signed Johnson walked under a ladder and broke a mirror in a room full of black cats. [NYT]...
Today Is The Preakness, So Send Us Your Photographic Evidence of $20 Debauchery
You know, the usual: Port-a-potty runs, fistfights, "Show. Your. Tits!"-chants, vomiting girls, litter, men running on to the track attempting to cold-cock horses mid-gallop. All that good stuff. Subject: Preakness Mess. And read this excellent story from Triple Canopy....
Gene Simmons Kept His Love Gun In Holster With ESPN Makeup Gal, Suit Claims
Yes, they call him Dr. Love, but he didn't want to meet this ESPN makeup artist, Victoria Jackson, in the Ladies Room. It's Hotter Than Hell, in there. The Firehouse, though? That's fine....
Penis-Curious News Anchor Responds
Michael HIll, news anchor for New Orleans's ABC affiliate and a man with a penchant for wonderfully awkward questions, has seen our post and writes in to say he does indeed know from banter. E-mail after the jump....
Bill Self To Dance, Dance, Dance The Night Away For Charity
The Hoops Doctors uncovered this video of a leisure-suited Bill Self promoting an upcoming charity event, to be held in Kansas City....
Does "Die Hard Cards Fan" Have To Spell It Out For You?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Other Texas Fans Were Asking For Those Middle Fingers
Here's the full video of the guy who snagged that home run ball at Arlington on Wednesday and after seeing the scrum he had to fight through to get it, I'd say that "up yours" was well-earned. Filthy savages. [MLB.com]...
Ex-Giant Brad Benson Is Greatest Ad Wizard Since Don Draper
Like many former athletes, New York Giant alumnus Brad Benson found a second career as a successful car dealer. Unlike most of them, however, he's made another name for himself as a filthy-minded, possibly unhinged radio pitchman....