ns Page 2295 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Americans Ready To Embrace Soccer For 16th Consecutive Year
Yep, the nation's quadrennial fascination with the strange sport it doesn't understand means that once again the U.S. is this close to fully embracing the beautiful game. Any year now.... [CNN]...

Last Night's Winner: Pedants
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like sticklers for the rules who believe that a lane violation is still a lane violation even in the final minute. In other words, me....

Courtney Coxian Women Confront Snapping-Turtle Problem: Houston-Maryland Open Thread
Before Greivis Vasquez can take his "poor man's Manu Ginobili" routine to the next round, he'll have to lance the proverbial boil that is Aubrey Coleman and the Houston Cougars. Make a sweat pun whenever Gary Williams is on screen....

Pitino-Backed Red Birds Attempt To Screw Bears On Restaurant Table, So To Speak: Lousiville-Cal Open Thread
You were expecting a different picture, weren't you? Louisville had an off-year, and so did the Pac-10; there might as well be two pictures to keep you engaged. Say "Samardo Samuels" thrice into a mirror and comment the results....

Shining Kings Of The Serengeti Beset By Cerulean Satans: Arkansas Pine Bluff-Duke Open Thread
Duke's better this year than it's been in a while; expect the Blue Devils to crack 120 in this game. Look for floor-slaps galore by the scrubs who get into the game with about seven minutes to play....

Food Producers Meet Greeks, Make Orzo Together: New Mexico State-Michigan State Open Thread
Having Kalin Lucas, Raymar Morgan and Tom Izzo means MSU is a threat to make a run. Jahmar Young and Jonathon Gibson are pretty sick themselves. Lunardi says NMSU's just happy to be there. Can they prove him wrong?...

Gus Johnson Calls Your Life
Introducing the Gus Johnson soundboard. I give it less than a day before America is having sex to "rise and fire." [Best Thing Ever]...

Fighter Jet Flyover Threatens, Thrills Thousands
Two Navy fighter pilots were grounded after buzzing a Georgia Tech game at the decidedly unsafe altitude of just a few hundred feet....

Yippy Dog Vs. Weasel: Wofford-Wisconsin Open Thread (RUH-ROH ALERT)
The appropriately named Wofford Terriers are undersized and making their tournament debut, but they are incessant. Wisconsin is better than everyone thinks. Treasure of the Sierra Madre jokes? We don't need no stinkin' Treasure of the Sierra Madre jokes....

Kornheiser-Armstrong Feud Forces Clear Channel To Ban Cycling Talk
America is a house divided thanks to Tony Kornheiser and Lance Armstrong's "car vs. bike" stand off, but thankfully radio executives have issued strict orders for everyone on their air to shut the hell up about it....

Ryan Mallett's Scooter Gives SEC Fans A Head Start On Next Season's Taunts
Arkansas quarterback Ryan Mallett is getting around campus on a special scooter designed to keep his left foot off the ground. (Because a Rascal wasn't dorky enough?) I'm sure it won't come up during road games next fall. [Mr.Sec/Arkansas News]...

Appalachians And Some More Bears Clash In Buffalo: Morgan State-West Virginia Open Thread
Reggie Holmes and the MEAC champs are playing for coach Todd Bozeman. Playing to help him get a better job that is. Will Huggy Bear and Da'Sean Butler prove too much to handle? Will an announcer say "Pittsnogle?"...

I Was There: Yesterday. In New Orleans
For our next #iwasthere, we hear from Alejandro de los Rios, who spent 12 hours in New Orleans Arena during yesterday's first round, when Notre Dame went down and Kentucky brought Steve Zahn for moral support....

Bode Miller? Never Heard Of Him
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Hellacious Clergymen Try To Put Down Endowed Steers: Wake Forest-Texas Open Thread (NAIL BITER ALERT)
The Longhorns have had a crazy season, but they've got the talent to go on a run if they can get around Al-Farouq Aminu and Skip Prosser's Ghost. Comment and coordinate who to blame if this turns into a brick-fest....

Deciding The Superior Hawk: Lehigh-Kansas Open Thread
Kansas lost to Bucknell the last time they played a Patriot League opponent in the opening round in Oklahoma City. Can the Mountain Hawks say "Rock Chalk this!" and pull off the historic upset? Joke about Sherron Collins' age please....

Bearkats! Regular Bears! Sam Houston State-Baylor Open Thread
Baylor has players named Tweety, Ekpe, Dragan and Givon. Clearly, they are going all the way. Dust off your David Koresh material and comment....

Angry Hue Seeks To Smother Feral Cats: North Texas-Kansas State Open Thread
Jacob Pullen tries to seriously mess up the Mean Green, who were not involved in this and who feature no players named Joe. Discussion of Frank Martin's theatrics should be as profanity-laden as possible....

Sexting Tiger Threatened To "Slap, Spank, Bite and Fuck Till Mercy"
Well these texts from Tiger Woods to porn star Joslyn James are predictably gross: "After i cum you better start sucking my cock to get it hard" etc. See the full transcript after the jump....

Fan Beats Player With His Own Stick
As if Russia's Olympic showing wasn't enough, the KHL looks even more bush league after a playoff game was interrupted by a spectator attacking the visiting team....