ns Page 2301 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tony Kornheiser Thinks Hannah Storm Should Dress More Appropriately
"Hannah Storm in a horrifying, horrifying outfit today. She's got on red go-go boots and a catholic plaid skirt … way too short for somebody in her 40s or maybe early 50s by now." You bastard. [TheBigLead]...

UK/Canada Spat Uncharacteristically Crude, Penis-Related
The English papers have been taking shots at Canada's running of the games. One Canadian columnist fires back with accusations of premature ejaculation. Yep. We've reached that point....

Golfing While Sick, For Fun And Profit
Henrik Stenson, puking and pooping his guts out, dragged himself on the course to play one hole at the Accenture Match Play Championship, before withdrawing. Why even bother?...

This Moment In Things NBC Will Later Pretend You Didn't Already Know: Lindsey Vonn Wins Gold
Vonn took the Jarlsberg off her injured shin long enough to claim gold in women's downhill. Teammate Julia Mancuso finished second. (But shhhh, don't tell anyone.) [Reuters]...

Even NBCOlympics.com Hates NBC's Olympic Coverage
Reader Alex sends this screenshot from NBC's Olympics web site. Please note the Olympic Pulse at bottom, featuring a tweet from alpine skier Jake Zamansky. NBC is now punching itself in the face. [NBCOlympics.com, @jakezamansky]...

Predictably, Bill Plaschke Has Something Stupid To Say About Lindsey Jacobellis
Well, this was probably the most inevitable column of the Olympics: Bill Plaschke, harshing Lindsey Jacobellis's mellow....

Donte' Stallworth Signs With Ravens
But 59-year-old Mario Reyes is still dead. Peter King reports....

Braving A Blizzard Now The Only Way To Watch Olympics Live
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Always The Bridesmaid, Never The Bronze
You know how athletes' repetitive actions eventually become muscle memory? It's like that for Daniela Anschütz-Thoms and that dejected, hunched-over pose. You see, Daniela has a nasty habit of coming in fourth....

Dog Day Afternoon Redux
For the fourth(!) year in a row, I'm honored to serve as an embedded photojournalist on the front lines of the dog show circuit. Here's my dispatch from day two....

Barry Melrose Shares The Secret To Smooth Canadian Skin: "Chickenshit"
Here's Melrose on ESPN's First Take, explaining how he keeps away the crow's feet. Dana Jacobson later apologized, because god forbid someone say "chickenshit" on a show that's basically the television equivalent of smearing our faces in bird crap. [YouBeenBlinded.com]...

Dogging It At Westminster
For the fourth(!) year in a row, I'm honored to serve as an embedded photojournalist on the front lines of the dog show circuit. Here's my dispatch from day one....

Rick Reilly® Escalates Personal War With Canada
The Rickster apologies for his lame anti-Canuck jokes by crafting even more lame anti-Canuck jokes and sneaking in a brag about the vindaloo-like qualities of his smoking hot wife. Wait until he hears about the electric Zambonis. [ESPN]...

Tiger's Porn Mistress Claims Golfer Was Not A Fan Of Contraception
Veronica Siwik-Daniels a.k.a "Joslyn James" a.k.a. "Mistress #4,567" claims Tiger impregnated her twice during their earnest love-making sessions in Vegas hotel rooms. However, Radar reports she's a horrible, untrustworthy mom so you should be skeptical of her abortion stories....

So Who's The ESPN Employee Calling Stu Scott An A-Hole On Reddit?
Either a well-versed prankster has invaded Reddit's popular IAMA anonymous q-and-a, or, once again, Bristol has a reckless scuttlebutt willing to (anonymously) unload about Scott, Chris Berman, Michelle Beadle, Michael Wilbon and more....

Peter King Is Already Manufacturing Dumb Storylines For the 2010 Season
"The logical question for the Saints: Is all this celebrating and spate of parades ... going to go on so long that they affect the Saints' ability to repeat in 2010?" That question leads the league in stupid. [SI.com]...

Happy Valentine's Day, You Poor Bastard (Veracity Update)
To some people, proposing on the big screen at a hockey game is the most romantic idea imaginable. Not to the woman who stormed out after being popped the question at the Rangers game today....

No, The Sports Fella Did Not Hope For A Dead Georgian Luger
Thanks to the eighty of you who drew our attention to Bill Simmons retro Winter Olympics column, and his hankering for luge accidents. You can stop now....

Bill Plaschke, Master Of Finding Controversy Where None Exists
Plaschke's manufactured outrage of the day: "there was no makeshift memorial of flowers or cards, there was no visible memory" of Nodar Kumaritashvili. The photo that runs with the story? A makeshift memorial of flowers and cards. [MSTI]...

Montreal Columnist Breaks Out The Nazi Metaphor A Little Prematurely
The Flyers have a reputation as a dirty team. Fine. It's okay to hate them. But a February match-up between two teams barely in the playoff picture is no reason to resort to Hitler comparisons. Save it for the playoffs....