ns Page 2302 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

With The Cracking Of The Olympic Hippie Skull, The Games Begin In Earnest
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Stories That Don't Suck: Death On The Track, Ebert's Silence, NASCAR's Backlash Ethos, Bubba In Love
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

The Maple Street Press Is Sorry For Giving/Making The 2010 Cubs Anal
"Continuing with yesterday's theme of things we learned while pulling together the 2010 Annuals, there was a significant one from the Cubs Annual: Derrek Lee is a little taller than we thought."[MapleStreetPress]...

The One Where Brandon Rush Gets A Lap Dance On A Dirty Couch
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another.(NSFW)...

Pat Neshek Gets Horrible Fan Mail
Really, the shocking thing about this letter is not that it was sent — autograph hounds represent the lowest phylum of baseball fan — but that this Twins enthusiast didn't ask for Kent Hrbek, Tony Oliva, and Walter Johnson, too....

Saints Begin A Losing Battle Against Bandwagon Allegations
The Times-Picayune put out a call for these fans that were joined by Reggie Bush on Sunday. Problem: it's Brody Jenner and his L.A. posse. [NO T-P]...

The Seven Things You Learn From Every Curling Story
Nothing says Winter Olympics like a "clueless reporter tries curling" story. (Except maybe the "here's a black Winter Olympian!" story.) We take you through a typical curling experience, as seen through the eyes of every reporter ever....

The NCAA Cracks Down On Concussions, Hurt Feelings
Rules Committee proposal time! The two most pressing issues facing college football are, in no particular order, kids risking their health and livelihoods by playing with concussions, and losing teams feeling sad....

Joe Paterno's New Eyewear: Eyes
The 83-year-old Penn State coach had eye surgery which helps him "read his watch" and "not have to wear glasses" anymore but he should, because without them, he looks old and scary. [FightOnState]...

Man Claims Sportsbook Stiffed Him On Silly Kim Kardashian Prop Bet...Which They Did
A reader placed a tiny wager on what color top Reggie Bush's gilrfriend would wear to the Super Bowl. His choice? Black. It appears, in that photo, to be black. He claims Bodog.com would not pay out. Who will die?...

Lindsey Vonn Has A Lot Of Nerve Getting Hurt After Being So Sexy
Lindsey Vonn sure is purty, but who does she think she is? Getting everyone all hot and bothered over our Yankee Doodle Dandy and then having the audacity to break her shin before winning any gold medals! What a tease....

Mike & Mike Would Like To Make Your Valentine's Day Miserable
After 20 emails, ESPN readers are confused as to why Golic and Greenberg are trying to coax them into entering a contest for a chance to win, what appears to be, two snakes 69-ing on top of a diamond. [ESPN.com]...

The Royals Will Pay You To Cheer For Them
Aspiring mascots take heed: The Royals need a new "Sluggerrr." Minimum two years experience and an ability to stay awake for nine innings a must. Quality baseball knowledge not necessary (or even preferred.) [Image via Flickr]...

If The Nets Lose And No One's Around To See It, Does It Still Count In The Standings? (Yes.)
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Caps Fan Doesn't Actually Know Size Of Jordan Staal's Penis
It looked for all the world like that fan was impugning the, uh, curve of Staal's stick. Not so. Now we get the real story....

Cavaliers' Own Watergate Takes An Illegal Turn
Remember how the Cavs removed the drinking fountains from The Q, ostensibly for "health reasons." Yeah, no. Turns out it's a building code violation. [Plain Dealer]...

Clueless Announcers Dissect Obscene Jersey Salute (Fellator Update)
To all the middle-age announcers out there: when you see a fan making a hand gesture you don't understand, you shouldn't ask your broadcast partner to explain it. It just might be a blowjob pantomime....

Good Old Fashioned T-Shirt Racism In Kansas
A Lawrence retailer is selling t-shirts that say "Frank Martin Mows My Lawn." The K-State coach is Latino. This has understandably become a bit of a firestorm....

Today In Euphemizing Flat-Out Calling Johnny Weir Gay: Frank Deford
An occasional series in which we document — and evaluate — the sports media's pained efforts to call the sexually undeclared figure skater gay without quite calling him gay....

When Drew Brees Went To Lucy's
Sayeth Cajun Boy: "Of all the video/images I've seen from last night's Saints victory celebration in New Orleans, this one of Drew Brees leading the crowd at Lucy's in a pregame-style chant is the absolute best..."[CajunBoyInTheCity]...