ns Page 2441 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night...
What you missed while amassing your army of humanzees in anticipation of the Deadspin power vacuum......
You're Too Much Trouble. Get Some Therapy.
We were a stand-up tomato: a juicy, sexy, beefsteak tomato. Nobody does vegetables like us. We did an evening of vegetables off-Broadway. We did the best tomato, the best cucumber... we did an endive salad that knocked the critics on their ass....
Tony Kornheiser Questions His Own Commitment To Monday Night Football
Tony Kornheiser, the PTI maestro and everyman reporting genius, offered some extremely candid criticism of himself as a member of the Monday Night Football Crew....
The Statue Of Liberty Has Never Looked So ... Ugh
We're just more than a month away from the All-Star Game at Yankee Stadium — and hey, tickets are down to a totally reasonable $29,500! — and MLB is breaking out the big promotional guns. Check out these commemorative beauties....
Bill Simmons Still Comfortable With Rick Reilly Hanging Around
All the sports news came from Boston last night, so hey: Why not keep piling on and play with some sports media news from Boston too? How could one ever get tired of Boston, right? Right? Who's with us?...
Singing The Praises Of The Lakers-Celtics Rivalry
Believe it or not, there was a time when the biggest problem that Isiah Thomas had was random Boston Celtics attempting to place shoes on his head. The year was 1987, and that's not just any Celtic, actually; it's the great Kevin McHale. The last year that Boston has been in the NBA Finals also happ...
Congratulations, Stanley Cup Champion Detroit Red Wings
The NHL Closer is written by five people of European descent at Melt Your Face Off. We're not the first people to blog the Stanley Cup Finals, but Don Cherry still calls us "soft". So, for all you kids out there, Raskolnikov toughened up to recapitulate Detroit's clincher....
"Inside The NFL" Returns ... To Showtime
Good news, everybody: Those lamenting the loss of "Inside The NFL" take heed, because it's returning to television! Yay! Wait, it's only on Showtime. Boo!...
New England Sports Media Loses Some Of Its Venerable Bodaciousness
Hazel Mae, the sultry NESN lead anchor temptress, will have to find a new sports desk to prop her stair-mastered caboose on top of next year....
Ron Artest Is Taking This Journalism Business Quite Seriously
There are many adjectives you can use to describe Ron Artest, but a couple more you want to add to that list are "fair and balanced."...
Kansas City Gripped By Quincy Carter Fever
He's not exactly back in the NFL, but the Kansas City Brigade of the Arena Football League is a start. And believe it or not, that's a step up for the former Dallas Cowboys quartertback Quincy Carter, who was last seen playing for the Bossier-Shreveport BattleWings of the af2. After joining the Brig...
That'll Be All, Flip
It's strange to think now, but at one point, Flip Saunders was considered some sort of coaching savant. That seems like an awfully long time ago. The Pistons officially let Flip go about half an hour ago, and they're supposedly having a press conference at 2 p.m....
So, Which 2000 Laker Needs Some Cash?
The Los Angeles Lakers will tip off Thursday to try to win their 10th NBA championship, their fourth this decade. The first championship, in 2000, might have been the most exciting one, as Shaq finally got his first ring with Kobe finally breaking through as a winner. Heck, that ring must be awfully...
What Can You Say Here Except, "Holy Crap"
The truce between cars and bicycles is an uneasy one at best, and is surely broken from time to time; but never more horrifically than seen here. And you are excused for that coffee spit-take. It happened outside of Monterrey, Mexico, near the U.S. border, on Sunday when a drunk driver apparently ...
Sykora Calls His Shot
The NHL Closer is written by five insomniacs from Melt Your Face Off. We blame overtime hockey and copious amounts of caffeine for our condition. Raskolnikov downed two cases of Mountain Dew to recapitulate last night's epic thriller....
University Of Nevada's Football Players Lack Adequate Driver Designation Skills
Here's a brilliant display of a group of collegiate athletes woeful abandonment of alcohol-imbibing responsibility, as three University of Nevada football players were pinched over the Memorial Day weekend for DUIs, including senior wide receiver, Mike McCoy, pictured holding the ball in a less ine...
Terrell Owens Can't Seem To Avoid Getting Photographed Near Jiggling Buttocks
Last we'd heard from Terrell Owens, he was angrily unleashing his lawyers upon the BangBros. after his photo "accidentally" showed up in the promo for "Spring Break Ass," the story of a spunky college co-ed and her fluffy badonka-donk's Miami misadventures....
Enterprising Red Wings Fan Finds Clever Way To Give The Penguins More Money
19-year-old Zach Smith, native of Cleveland but lover of the Red Wings, devised an ingenious scheme that would not only allow him to throw an octopus on the ice of Mellon Arena last night before Game 4 but still be able to watch the game after he got tossed. His very canny, super savvy plan: buy an...
Jimmy Rollins Is Recognizable
The Gray Lady has an amusing piece today limning a day in the life of the slavering subhuman horde that is the habitual autograph hound. The column tags them as "Sharpie-wielding stalkers," which might be a terrible slight to stalkers everywhere. I mean, at least most stalkers know who they're purs...
Manny's 500th Homer Inspires Bouts Of Tumbling
If you don't properly fumigate for Red Sox fans, they'll show up in droves at your stadium. Take cautionary measures, people. That was the case last night at Camden Yards, as the vermin all packed in for a chance to see Manny Ramirez's 500th homaaaahhh. And the high-fivin' one came through. One guy ...