ns Page 2454 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Springtime For Meyer
• In Progress — CFB: Florida Gators Spring Game. Tebow is sick and Harvin has heel problems that tend to plague men of similar greatness. [ESPN] • In Progress — Tennis: WTA Bausch & Lomb Championships, Semifinal. It's Maria Sharapova and Lindsay Davenport if I'm not mistaken. [ESPN2] • 2:00 — Hockey...
Woodrow's Woes and Rory's Belt
Rory Sabatini will have plenty of time to do some more shopping at Hot Topic this weekend, as he became one of the top players to miss the cut at the Masters. Those who did survive the first two days at Augusta National are now underway despite a bit of atmospheric wetness. KJ Choi is already +3 fo...
Dontrelle Is Injured, Fat
Dontrelle Willis lasted all of 14 pitches before leaving with a hyper-extended knee, but he was just as shitty before the injury. The high-kicking lefty couldn''t seem to get his kick all the way up, which the Baseball Tonight crew was quick to attribute to his physique, which can only be described...
Nightmare Fuel From the NHL Playoffs
Holy sweet fucking God! I'm just going to sit here for a minute while appreciating my non-destroyed testicles. Continue after the jump for last night's scores, because we might as well talk about hockey as long as we're here. Oh, and a big thanks to Enrico at the 700 Level for making this the first...
The Beckham Men Enjoy Our Finest Athletes
• The Lakers still have a shot at catching the Hornets for the top spot in the Western Conference, and they came out playing like a team that wants homecourt advantage. LA outscored New Orleans 39-20 in the first quarter before the Hornets tenacious second half comeback. However, the Lakers perseve...
About Last Night
What you missed while audibly yelping with glee... • Boxing: Carlos De Leon Jr. > Buddy McGirt Jr. De Leon proved to be the better son of a former champion when he stopped the previously undefeated McGirt in the seventh. • MLB: The Yankees proved their supremacy over the Red Sox with a 4-1 April vic...
So, How'd OJ Mayo Work Out For You, Coach Floyd?
Surprising no one, OJ Mayo announced yesterday that he's leaving USC to enter the NBA Draft. Hard to blame the guy; most mock drafts have him going in the top five. (Love that video preview for the Mock Draft, ESPN!)...
Now, Sing Along With The Masters
Well, potato chip-inhaling ruminator, there are. And thanks to the crew at The Meaningful Collateral, you can listen to the Masters theme as it was originally intended: with treacly words....
At Least He's Not Out Taking Illegal Drugs Or Making Some Woman Miserable
When we were — what was it — about five or six? - we were sexually attracted to Bugs Bunny. And we - we cut out this Bugs Bunny off the cover of a comic book and carried it around with us. Carried it around in our pocket and took it out and looked at it periodically, and — and it got all wrinkled up...
Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild
You may remember, from Pat Jordan's already famous story for us about trying to interview Jose Canseco, his lawyer "Rob," a "a Cherokee Indian from North Carolina" who, after four years working for Jose, had yet to be paid. Well, Canseco might have just done Rob — whose real name is Robert Saunooke ...
This Is What The Dolphins See In (S)Him
These two festive ladies are not your regular Sugar Free Red Bull-guzzling party girls you'd find at Making Time. No, these big, strapping dollies are actually former Michigan offensive lineman. The one with the crutches is Adam Kraus. The one with the shaved belly and blue hair is potential number...
Epic Fail In Oakland (And Dirk Is A Space Monster!)
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who would do anything for love, but he won't do that. No, he won't do that. When he's not memorizing Meat Loaf lyrics, you can find him karaokeing them at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Hey Warriors...what's that on your face? I'll tell you. It's egg. And mud. And th...
Ricky Reilly, Billy Simmons, And The Follies Of Privileged Sportswriting
This is BALLS DEEP With Big Daddy Drew (Balls® is a registered trademark and has been used with the expressed written consent of AJ Daulerio). It's gonna be like an SI Point After column, only with dick jokes. Enjoy....
The NBA Playoff Shakedown Continues...Airplane!-Style
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who will never get over Nacho Grande! When he's not quoting 80s comedies, you can find him flossing his teeth at Basketbawful. Enjoy! I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you. And the Suns' two big fellas came through. Amare Stoudem...
Terrell Owens: Thespian
Terrell Owens, Dallas Cowboys wide receiver and suicide survivor, is a man who's always had a flair for melodrama. Now, the Pro Bowl receiver will get to utilize some of those off-the-field skills in an upcoming sitcom starring ex-Public Enemy hype man and reality television star, Flavor Flav. The s...
Pat Summitt Should Be The Next Coach Of The Knicks
We congratulate the Tennessee Volunteers — we never like calling women's college teams the "Lady" somethings — for their national championship last night. For some reason, it's a little more touching when the elderly mother of the winning coach comes down on the court when the coach is a woman. We'r...
The Ones Meet The Eights
NHL Closer writer Greg Wyshynski previews the 2008 Stanley Cup Finals right up until they drop what is commonly referred to as "the puck."...
Storming The Floor's San Antonio Road Trip
Storming The Floor was in San Antonio for the NCAA Title Game last night. Check out their full report....
Back When Men Were Men, And The Prose Was Purple
Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Red Smiths, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's...
Under The Brazilian Rainbow
Via Sports By Brooks comes this seemingly tall tale about these terrifying little fellers , who are supposedly part of Brazil's all dwarf soccer team, the "Gigantes do Norte."Even though this squad is not even close to being gigante in physical size, they are so in spirit, apparently....