ns Page 2476 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Boy, Is China's Face Red
OK, this is pretty hilarious. During a televised ceremony to launch China's television station for the Bejing Olympics, CCTV-5, famed Chinese broadcaster Zhang Bin was ambushed by his wife, who burst onto the stage and accused him of an affair....
Our On-Site Report From The Ice Bowl
Jack Kukoda is a native of Buffalo, NY and is a writer for the Onion News Network. He lives in New York City now. And he was at the outdoors Sabres-Penguins game yesterday and files this most amusing report....
T.O. Still Loves Him Some Him
From the Dennis Green Memorial trademark-your-own-dopeyness-for-cash file, we present Terrell Owens' newest endeavor....
Mother Nature Snowballs Bettman
Today's NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of The FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer. Enjoy....
The Rose Bowl In The Twilight Zone
The question we've been discussing with fellow Illini fans over the last 12 hours or so; was it really worth it? Was it worth watching our Illini be absolutely destroyed in the Rose Bowl yesterday? Wouldn't we all have been better off if Illinois had a more competitive, fun, matchup against Florida ...
What's In And Out For 2008?
Continuing his New Year's tradition going back into the last decade, Dan Shanoff weighs in with some trend-spotting: What's "out" with 2007 and "in" for 2008. Goodbye: Durant, Tebow, Dice-K, Saban, competitive eating and Reilly. Hello: Love, Pryor, Fuk-U, Rod, competitive drinking and B.D. Drew. And...
All Hail The Great Kerry Collins
Tiny tidbits and news niblets from the final week of the NFL season ......
Tonight: Tennessee Titans Vs. Indianapolis Brown Colts
As you no doubt already know, the Titans control their own playoff fate tonight as they battle the Indianapolis Colts in the RCA Dome. Win, and they're in. Lose, and they're ... um ... what's bad and rhymes with lose? Bruised? Sure. Lose, and they're bruised. That, and the Browns get to massage thei...
When The Saints Go Golfing
It's hard to imagine that less than 12 months ago these two teams were meeting for a chance to play in the Super Bowl. Seriously, they were. I looked it up! Devin Hester (The Jester Molester) returned a 64 yard punt, Neckbeard Orton threw the ball like he was throwing back girly cocktails, and just ...
The NFL Playoff Picture Explained
Country X is planning to attack country Y, and country Y is anticipating the attack. Country X can either attack by land or by sea. Country Y can either prepare for a land defense or a sea defense. If X launches an attack by sea and Y prepares a defense by sea the probability of a successf— BAH! I'm...
Keep Your Motor Runnin'
The NBA Closer is written by Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or talking in the third person, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast....
That's It; We're Officially Out Of End Of Year Lists
You've always wondered — maybe — about those Deadspin comment "+1" points; has anyone ever compiled those things? Well, obviously not ... who has the time for that ... holy crap!...
Oh Gosh Todd, You Shouldn't Have Said That
Male cheerleaders have their place in life, we suppose. Who else can we mock mercilessly and string up by the heels from flagpoles? I mean, who else who can't fight back? We laugh at their spiffy routines and tight-fitting sweater-and-slacks combinations, occasionally one becomes President, and life...
Wait, College Athletes Have Nice Cars?
Anyone who has gone to a university with a prominent sports program can tell you about the experience of seeing one of your player driving a vehicle that you wouldn't think they'd be able to afford. We can all justify it in our brains, hey, they just saved up for it, but we all know better. But do w...