ns Page 2514 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
ESPN's Secret Interoffice Complaint Memorandum
Sometimes we forget, in all the frustrations and angst that watching ESPN causes us, that Bristol really is just an office. An office with a cafeteria, a human resources department, water coolers, parking spaces and football analysts who take pictures of their penis. It's like all of our offices. So...
A Baby Name Which Will Cause No Future Embarrassment Whatsoever
When all is said and done, I blame the mom. When your last name is Karr, and dad comes up with the brilliant idea of naming the new baby Chevy, that's when you put your foot down, ladies. And you put it down hard ... on dad's genitals while he's sleeping, if necessary. And if he still insists, then ...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. Big East Media Day: Ha! It's July, and you're in school taking notes! • 2 p.m. Sports writer Robert Ward: So who is the straw that stirs your drink? • 3 p.m. Fantasy BB w/Nate Ravitz: In my dream, Boof Bonser is chasing me while ...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 1 p.m. MLB with Buster Olney: Did you know that I have named my lawn gnomes after you? • 1:30 p.m. Ravens Rookie G Ben Grubbs: Please explain the following from your Auburn bio: Credited with three cockroach blocks, one rodeo block and...
Lefty Loses The Scottish Open In Style
I don't follow golf. Never have, only will when I'm older and need a good way to hide from my goddamn wife and kids who won't stop bugging me to take them to the fucking movie theatre to see some shitty ass flick that probably stars Hillary Duff....
Artest And Jackson Already Suspended For Next Season
This is an interesting way to end the blogging day: Ron Artest and Stephen Jackson were just suspended by the NBA for the first seven games of next season. Yes, you read that correctly: next season....
Minor League Pitcher Pokes MLB On Facebook
Right-handed pitcher Jensen Lewis, 23, owned AAA hitters over the last month. At Buffalo he has posted a record of 1-0 with a save and a 1.38 ERA in 10 games, eight of which were scoreless....
You Don't Go To Work Every Day; You Go To A Bar Every Day
That's why we drink it straight. The ice cubes are too heavy....
A Perfectly Appropriate Keepsake
Under normal circumstances, we couldn't imagine a way that we would ever buy our father a birthday present — August 6, everybody; postmark Bryan Leitch, Mattoon, Illinois! — that's a piece of Chicago Cubs memorabilia. But this might just be an exception....
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 1 p.m. AFL w/Force QB Chris Greisen: We're telling you right now, we're going to keep flogging this league until cows fly, "journalism" be damned. You got a problem with that? • 2 p.m. Boxing with Dan Rafael: Better boxer ... Robert De...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while wrangling your bats ... • MLB: Manny & Ortiz ...they're cops! • Golf: Phil Mickelson says that if it's not Scottish, it's crap! • Cycling: Cancellara retains the glass slipper....
This Man Will Teach You How To Hurt
Former Steelers linebacker Greg Lloyd was one of those guys you have to be pleased discovered the game of football. Unchecked aggression in the real world is scary enough; if he hadn't had the outlet of football, who knows what he might have been capable of....
What's Bill Simmons Working On?
At the end of another of his mammoth chats yesterday, prodigal Sports Guy Bill Simmons made an odd announcement....
Jared Allen Knows Why He's Famous
Kansas City Chiefs defensive end Jared Allen tends to have a little bit of trouble with the whole "drive, then drink, rather than the other way around" thing. He had three DUI arrests in the span of four years, and he'll miss the first four games this season thanks to an NFL suspension....
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 1 p.m. NFL draft w/Steve Muench: Let's relive the glory, shall we? • 4 p.m. World Series of Poker: When I called you a cheater, I didn't know you were the Sundance Kid. • 4 p.m. Football Scientist KC Joyner: Are you responsible for thi...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 12:30 p.m. Page 2's Bill Simmons: That cartoon Simmons head looks like it has jaundice. May I offer you a cool washcloth and some antibiotics, Bill? • 2 p.m. Baseball Am.'s John Manuel: Dmitri Young is certainly not dead. (He's not, is...