ns Page 2524 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Drink, Hoof, Drink
It was only a matter of time until this happened: Barbaro-branded bourbon....

Baseball Players Are Athletes
Seriously, what happened to Antonio Alfonseca? He was always big, but ... wow. We suppose you can eat faster when you have six fingers....

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. MLB Inside Rob Neyer: Is calculating OBP more fun after 2 a.m.? • 2 p.m. NASCAR with Terry Blount: In retrospect, should a pit crew even bother with the rear-window de-fogger? • 4 p.m. NFL with Pro Football Weekly: Is it so wrong...

Vince Carter Reveals Himself Again
Legitimate question: Why would anyone with any sort of hopes for someday winning an NBA championship spring for Vince Carter this offseason? In the most important game of the year for his Nets, Carter dribbled the ball of his foot during the final possession, ultimately shooting 6-for-23 as the Nets...

The Suns And Spurs Won't Stop Punching Each Other, And It's Awesome
Did you ever wonder just how entertaining those old Knicks-Heat slugfest series could have been had, you know, the actual basketball being played was even slightly tolerable to the eyes? That what this Spurs-Suns series has become: Two amazing teams who play entirely different games trying to force ...

Last Call To Keep Any Of These Close
The general consensus, to this point, is that the Jazz-Warriors and Pistons-Bulls series are pretty much over: The favorites up 3-1 with two home games to close it out. Well, if the Nets and Suns can't hold serve tonight, they might be well be in the same position....

Taint Sweat Sold Separately
Say what you will about the intensity of Bears fans, but some bits of memorabilia are out of the range of reasonable and rational thought, even to them....

We Have To Ask
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 10 a.m. Monday's Morning Buzz: Tank Johnson is in a tree in my front yard. Can the Humane Society shoot him with a tranquilizer gun and relocate him further back into the woods? • 1 p.m. AFL w/Rush DB Jeremy Unerti: Is there a more fut...

Apparently, The Warriors Can Lose At Home
In their their preview of the Suns-Spurs series, Free Darko, describing Stephen Jackson and the Golden State Warriors, wrote, "Stephen Jackson doesn't care because he has nothing to lose, and thus is invincible." For the first time, last night, his team looked like it cared, like it had a lot to los...

To Watch Tonight...
• 8:00, ESPN. MLB. Detroit Tigers @ Minnesota Twins. A guy named Boof should have a giant red afro, or a curly mustache or something. • 8:00, Comedy Central. Movie. Bad Santa. Underrated in my view, but cursing at children makes me laugh. Don't judge me. • 9:30, TNT. NBA Playoffs. Utah Jazz @ Golden...

The Bulls Aren't Castrated Quite Yet
The Pistons got a little cocky after Game 3, when they took two quarters off, and then still managed to rout the Bulls. They tried the same routine today, but extended it to three quarters, even going so far as to put up a 13-point third quarter and go down by 20. But they couldn't make quite enough...

The Suns Have Made Tim Duncan Into A Bully
In the press conferences following the Spurs/Suns game yesterday, the same reporter asked both Tim Duncan and Mike D'Antoni if they thought the series was physical....

The Iron Sheik Is A Charming Man
I had no idea there were that many no-good motherfuckers in the world. I'm not sure, because I can't understand everything he's saying, but ... I think The Sheik even finds time to Barry Bonds a no-good motherfucker. It's at about the 1:33 mark, before says, "Tito Santana is a Mexican. He's OK. Bett...

Michael Vick, Somehow, With Even Less Credibility
The hole that Michael Vick is in keeps getting bigger and bigger, like an infected puncture wound on the muscular neck of a not-quite-ferocious enough pitbull....

Baron Davis Climbs Andrei Kirilenko
If you watch closely, you can see Andrei Kirilenko looking back at Baron Davis afterwards, as if to say, "You know, that really wasn't necessary." Even Adonal Foyle crinkled up his nose in a "Damn that was nasty," kind of a way. When Adonal Foyle acknowledges the nastiness, you know things just got ...

With Endless Love, We Left You Sleeping. Now We're Sleeping With You. Don't Wake Up.
He was full of plans. Have you got any plans, Jim? Do you want us to find a cure and save the world, or just fall in love and fuck? Plans are pointless. Staying alive's as good as it gets....

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. Fantasy league injuries. Ow, my diverticulitis! • 1 p.m. Page 2's D.J. Gallo: Don't you wish that someone would occasionally order you to pick the Pirates? • 2 p.m. NASCAR with David Newton: Didn't I just see Dale Earnhardt Jr....

Pistons Finally Tire Of Toying With Bulls
Remember in the last game of the NBA regular season, when the Bulls simply needed a victory over the Nets to clinch the No. 2 seed in the Eastern Conference? If they hadn't lost that game, this Bulls-Pistons whitewash could have been our conference finals; this could be all there is....

Your Complete Guide To All NFL Player Arrests
Tomorrow, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell will hear the appeal of Pacman Jones, who wants to have his yearlong suspension reduced. As part of his appeal, the law firm of Greenberg Taurig has compiled a 28-page document stating his case — as originally published on The Tennessean's Web site — and it i...
