ns Page 2585 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
He Stands Before You. Clinton. Simply Clinton.
If the real sports world were like the Deadspin sports world, someone like Dennis Rodman or Joe Pepitone would be popping open some champagne this morning, 1972 Dolphins-style: The Clinton Portis madness streak has finally come to an end....
Sean Taylor Needs To Practice His Spitting
If you watched last weekend's Redskins-Buccaneers game, you saw Washington safety Sean Taylor ejected for spitting on Tampa Bay running back Michael Pittman, and you know when you spit on a Marine who has been known to drive his Hummer into vehicles that contain his wife and child, there will be r...
Vince Young's NFL Ready Throwing Motion
We were sent this a while ago, and it's possible you've already seen it, but we couldn't figure out how to post animated GIFs back then, mainly because we're morons....
You're Doing A Heckuva Job, Swanny
After months of hinting and posturing (we mean, testing the waters. Sorry), Steelers Hall of Fame wide receiver Lynn Swann made the big announcement last week — he's running for governor of Pennsylvania. Swann, a football commentator for ABC, hopes to earn the Republican Party endorsement for the ...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 9 a.m. Wednesday Morning Quickie: I've been recently fired due to the fact that I've spent every weekday morning on the computer chatting with you guys. Any openings? • 11 a.m. NFL with Chris Mortensen: Is it possible to just change al...
Vroom-Vroom-VROOM!
Well, once again a religious group is threatening our constitutional right to admire a different NBA cheerleader in a bathing suit every month. The American Decency Organization is hopping mad at the Detroit Pistons for a recent team calendar which features members of the Pistons dance team in sk...
Cabrera's Linguisitic Transgressions
On the surface, the news that a complaint has been filed against Florida Marlins wunderkind outfielder Miguel Cabrera for an incident outside a Venezuela club seems pretty rote, just another athlete "scuffle" at a bar. But the story from the Ft. Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel confuses us so much we can't...
Say It Ain't So, Chad
So you know, Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson — forever known as Our Hero around here — did not get in a fight with his coach Marvin Lewis at halftime of Sunday's loss to the Steelers. Who said he did, you ask?...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 1 p.m. MLB with Rob Neyer: What are the chances of Johnny Damon getting back his security deposit? • 2 p.m. NFL Misery Index with Jim Caple: Or, as they call it in Cincinnati, "Football season." • 3 p.m. Men's Hoops w/ Fran Fraschilla:...
How To Motivate Your Goalie
We've all thought it, particularly when watching games involving the Devil Rays, the Knicks or the Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals: We'd have to be able to do better than these idiots, right? During a Montreal Canadiens practice yesterday, one idiot acted on just that....
Redskins Surprisingly Effective Car Salesmen
With the Redskins improbably advancing to the NFL's Final Eight, we're obviously going to be ratcheting up the Clinton Portis coverage even more than we already have, if that's not terrifying enough for you. As a little appetizer, though, we present you this gaggle of advertisements for Easterns A...
Joe Paterno's Slip Of Tongue (Ugh)
It's a nice time to know Penn State coach Joe Paterno ... unless you're a woman, says the National Organization of Women. The organization has taken issue with Paterno's comments about Florida State linebacker A.J. Nicholson, who was accused of rape in a Florida hotel room. Here's what JoePa said:...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • So, just to recap, it's The Morning Quickie at 9 a.m.; Fantasy Focus at 10; and Women's College Hoops with Charlie Creme at 11. We love Internet porn as much as the next person, but this seems excessive. • Noon. Preview, Patriots at Br...
NFL Playoff Roundup: Riiiiipppppp!
• Honestly, we know this was covered all weekend, but man, that Carson Palmer thing was the worst playoff moment we can remember. We think Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals have it tough; Bengals fans finally get in the playoffs, and two plays in, their Pro Bowl QB tears an ACL and MCL. (Quest...
Elsewhere...
• Morris Peterson gets ejected from the Raptors/Nets game for slapping Vince Carter in the face. I didn't see it, so I can't comment, but I can't think of too many reasons to not slap Vince Carter. Sorry. I'm not a Vince Carter fan....
Redskins vs. Bucs - 4th quarter
• Mike Patrick just said the words, "An exciting muff."...
Redskins vs. Bucs - 3rd quarter
• That's how you get back into a game. First, the Bucs force a 3-and-out with a sack on third down, then a nice punt return, then a very slick offensive drive capped by a Simms TD on a bootleg. That's quality work you did at halftime, Jon Gruden. 17-10 Redskins....
Redskins vs. Bucs - 2nd quarter
• The Redskins front 7 is playing very well, keeping Cadillac Williams in check. In essence, they're putting the game into the hands of Chris Simms. • Tampa Bay gets on the board with a Matt Bryant FG, making the score 14-3 Redskins. This leads to the positively infuriating "Score, Commercial, Kic...
Redskins vs. Bucs - 1st quarter
• Anthony Becht and LaVar Arrington seem to have different levels of respect for the recent accomplishments of their alma maters. Becht announced himself as being from "The 2006 Sugar Bowl Champion West Virginia Mountaineers," while Arrington said he was from "North Hills High." • Chris Hovan has ...
Kentucky Pounded By Kansas
Unlike everyone else, Kansas and Kentucky have refused to play within their conferences today, and in fact, Kentucky appears to have refused to play basketball at all. They're getting absolutely pounded by the Jayhawks, 73-44 with about a minute left to play....