ns Page 2596 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Leftovers: No Mas
• Injury forces WBC champ Klitschko to retire, HBO to air 4 extra hours of "Six Feet Under." [Flying Ass Monkey] Bill Simmons profiled in the Baltimore Sun. Good: All kinds of hints that he'll leave ESPN someday. Bad: The author keeps calling him a "blogger." Ugly: Compared to both Hunter S. Thompso...

Happy Trails, Holmes
In very sad news, Kansas City Chiefs running back Priest Holmes is out for the season and, according to several sources, could end up retiring. (A Chiefs spokesperson denies the retirement rumors.)...

Could Theo Be Returning?
All kinds of rumblings today about Theo Epstein potentially coming back as Red Sox GM, with the Boston Herald reporting that several Boston officials have been trying to talk him back into the job....

Blogdom's Best: Baltimore Ravens
It might not — yet — have the online fanaticism and cachet of baseball, but the NFL and its fans are starting to catch up in the world of team-devoted blogs. To this end, Deadspin salutes these modem-addled souls and proudly presents Blogdom's Best, given to the most outstanding blog for each NFL ...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. NFL with Chris Mortensen: Any trade rumors today? Keep in mind that ESPN has hired a fact-checker, and he wants to see all your notes. • 2 p.m. MLB Steroid Investigation: We heard that there was a Dog and Pony Show going on in ...

Why Your City Sucks
Looks like the Maloof brothers got a hold of the Jumbotron controls while drunk again. In what the team says will be a regular feature, when the Pistons were introduced last night, the Kings ran a feature about the city of Detroit on the scoreboard. You can probably guess what it was: horrible vis...

Rosenhaus Sets T.O.'s Career Ablaze
One pretty amazing press conference involving Terrell Owens this afternoon. Owens came out and made a seemingly sincere statement, apologizing to his fans, the Eagles, Andy Reid, Donovan McNabb, the owners, pretty much everybody but Jeff Garcia. We were watching it thinking, "Man, he actually see...

Sean Salisbury Loves To Teach The Ladies Tricks
In his ESPN chat today, "analyst" Sean Salisbury "announced" the launch of his official Web site. We've been scanning it, and we're sad to say there isn't a single "Battlebots" reference. However: Salisbury does post a bizarre press release thing about some "seminar" on teaching women about footb...

With Enough Weed, What's The Difference?
From the NFL Wives Yahoo Group, in response to the query (not from us, we swear) "Ladies please name any and every athlete whether NFL, NBA or NCAA that is Bi Sexual or just plain GAY!!!."...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. NFL with Sean Salisbury: So once again you talk about the NFL and we pretend to be interested, all the while aching to talk about our true love — Battlebots. It is an amusing little dance, is it not? • 1 p.m. Ohio State's Jess ...

That's All For T.O.
Making the unofficial officially official, Eagles coach Andy Reid announced a few minutes ago that Terrell Owens will not play for the Eagles again this season....

Clinton Portis' Methodical Meltdown
That guy right there is Redskins running back Clinton Portis, who is slowly limping toward madness, right before everyone's eyes. This week, before last night's win over the Eagles, Portis announced that his previous character, Southeast Jerome, had died and now he was Dr. I Don't Know. Who is Dr....

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11:30 a.m. Soccer star Eddie Pope: Thanks to this chat I can now name one player in the MLS. • Noon. Women's NCAA with Mechelle Voepel: What is this "women's basketball" you speak of? • 1 p.m.: NFL with Michele Tafoya: Oh yes, share wi...

T.O.'s 18-Year-Old Assassin
We find it amusing that people are trying to come up with alternate excuses why Terrell Owens was suspended by the Eagles — fight with Hugh Douglas, frustration over the Eagles not recognizing his 100th touchdown, so on — when it's pretty clear, to us anyway, that his comment that Brett Favre woul...

NFL Roundup: Kicking T.O.
• We love pictures like this. Everyone, honestly, should have a kicker of their own to hug and cuddle. • We're not going to get too into this — because, of course, we're going to do our own whole post on the matter later today — but ESPN's coverage of Terrell Owens is bordering on stalking. ESPN's...

This Week In Foreign Sports
Their terminology is confusing, they're often not allowed to touch the ball with their hands and occasionally royalty shows up to watch for a few minutes before heading back to the castle. It's weird sports from other lands, which when you get down to it, are no more ridiculous than ours. News it...

Joe Paterno ... Closet Raci — You Know, We Don't Have The Energy Anymore
Another day, another old college football coach being subtly accused of racism. The headline on ESPN.com's home page kind of lets you know how Penn State coach Joe Paterno's comments on black athletes is being spun: "Paterno Links Black Athletes To Increased Scoring."...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. Page 2's Scoop Jackson: Please describe your last actual scoop — and while we're waiting for you to come up with that thought, we'll observe a moment of silence for the dearly departed Page 3. • 2 p.m. Boxing with Dan Rafael: B...

T.O. Just Nukes 'Em All
Honestly, we don't know why athletes even give interviews anymore. Philadelphia Eagles poo-stirrer Terrell Owens, after being asked about ESPN moron Michael Irvin's comment that the Eagles would be undefeated with Brett Favre as quarterback instead of Donovan McNabb, responded with:...

How Hurt Is T.O., Really?
Eagles receiver Terrell Owens, everybody's idea of a team player, has said he might not be able to play over the next three weeks because of a sprained ankle that aggravated his still-healing broken leg from last year. This is a terrible time, of course, for such an injury, since the Eagles happen...