of Page 366 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hot Damn, Sidney Crosby Was Great Last Night
You wouldn’t know it if you only looked at the stat sheet (or, um, if you watched the Warriors game instead), but that might have been one of the finest playoff games of Sidney Crosby’s career....
Let's Appreciate The Cruel Efficiency Of Klay Thompson's Game 6 Three-Point Orgy
Presumably a couple of goatherds in the Eurasian Steppe and perhaps deep-water oil platform welders in the North Sea are still unaware, so let’s start with the obvious: Klay Thompson had himself a night Saturday. The other Golden State guard took over the elimination Game 6 for the Warriors to such ...
The Golden State Warriors Will Win The NBA Finals
Draymond Green is bad. Steph Curry is Chucky Atkins. No matter. Klay Thompson is a blank-eyed three-shooting robot from space and no one will ever stop the Warriors. I’ll die before they lose again. Burn in hell, Oklahoma City Thunder....
MLB On Colossal Beer Pyramid: "Wow"
What separates man from beast? Humans are weak-skinned bipeds, but our great advantage in this life is our bigass brains. We build. To engineer is human. That’s how we survived in the jungles and took over this planet. Read one way, the story of human history is a long, inexorable march towards the ...
Pro Cyclist Reportedly In Coma After Getting Run Over By Motorcycle During Race Again
All season long, professional cyclists have been run getting over by motorcycles during races. 25-year-old Belgian Antoine Demoitié died after getting run over during Gent Wevelgem, a stalled out motorbike caused a harrowing pile-up in Brooklyn last month, and Stig Broeckx was hospitalized after a m...
The Cavaliers Are Back In The Finals
Cleveland beat Toronto 113-87 tonight. James Jones will make his sixth straight Finals, a momentous achievement. Good for him. ...
Russell Westbrook Tells Us How He Really Feels About Steph Curry's Defense
After last night’s loss to the Golden State Warriors, Russell Westbrook and Kevin Durant were asked if they think Steph Curry is an underrated defender. Westbrook reacted like he’d just been asked if he likes to shop at T.J. Maxx....
The New-Look Penguins Roll Deeper Than Ever
The Penguins are back in the Finals after their 2-1 Game 7 win over Tampa, but they are not the same old Penguins you love to hate. (But you can hate ‘em anyway.)...
The Warriors Aren't Dead Yet
It was simple enough to write the Warriors off when they were down 3-1, on the brink of elimination (only nine teams have ever come back from such a deficit), but they are not dead yet. The Thunder effectively blitzed them into submission in both games in Oklahoma City, and while Russell Westbrook a...
Navigating Your Way Through Bullshit Corporate Lingo
George Orwell made a living off of incredulity. Armed with a healthy distrust of capitalism and intense misgivings about the surveillance state, Orwell’s writings often presaged a bleak outlook for mankind. (His fucking head would explode if he could see what companies—i.e. Google and Facebook—and g...
The NHL Threatened To Fine The Lightning If They Didn't Shut Down Their Watch Party
The Tampa Bay Lighting hosted a very well-attended viewing party on Sunday for Game 5 of their Eastern Conference Finals series with Pittsburgh. Thousands went to the public showing (around 8,000 attended an analogous event last year), and the team had planned another official party for tonight’s Ga...
The Thunder Are What's Wrong With The Warriors
So every frontrunner’s favorite twee basketball unicorns, the Golden State Warriors, the best regular-season NBA team of all time, got duffed by a combined 52 points in two blowout losses in Oklahoma City by the Thunder, previously every frontrunner’s favorite twee basketball unicorns. This was the ...
The Sharks Are In The Finals, Finally
Joe Thornton and Patrick Marleau were the first two picks in the 1997 draft. They’ve played a couple thousand games in teal. They’ve both been captains, and both stripped of the “C” for perceived leadership failures and criticisms that for however good their Sharks were, they were never quite good e...
Even Cavs Fans Are Owning The Raptors
The Cleveland Cavaliers took a 100-60 lead into the fourth quarter of tonight’s Eastern Conference finals game, and that’s all you need to know and all I’ll say about what’s happening on the court. Or at least with the basketball players on the court, because this bald-headed Cavs fan got into a fun...
Compounding Throwing Errors Turn Wild Pitch Into Three Stooges Routine
Look, baseball is hard. You have to catch and throw a little tiny white ball past someone who wants to murder it with a stick that was expressly made to murder the ball. If your opponent clobbers it, you have to scramble around and shit. This isn’t to excuse the incredible meltdown Oakland suffered ...
A Rowdy Warriors Fan Tried To Fight Charles Barkley Because He Picked The Thunder
Warriors fans got to enjoy their team winning a championship last year then 73 regular season games this year, so they’re understandably shaken up by their team’s unfolding capitulation to the mighty Oklahoma City Thunder. When fans become Mad Online, they tend to threaten violence upon haters, doub...
The Thunder Discovered Their Own Lineup Of Death
The Golden State Warriors have spent two seasons terrorizing opponents with what has become known as the Lineup of Death. It’s a small-ball lineup featuring Draymond Green at the five and Harrison Barnes at the four, and it works for a few simple reasons: There are shooters all over the floor, they ...
It's Matt Murray Or Bust
On his very last day as a 21-year-old, on the very first shot he saw, Matt Murray allowed a goal. Then he got an early birthday present: a coach’s challenge showed Jonathan Drouin had been offside by the merest fraction of a second. It was back to 0-0, and Murray got down to business....
The Thunder Are Just Too Goddamn Much
Over the course of their past two years spent dominating the NBA, the Warriors have excelled at avoiding consecutive losses and rapidly turning around playoff series in which they’ve trailed. Tonight, they had an opportunity to keep both trends alive after the Oklahoma City Thunder firebombed them o...
Evgeni Malkin Slashed Ryan Callahan In His Penis And Balls
Ryan Callahan slashed Evgeni Malkin’s hands with his stick in the first period of Game 6, so the Pittsburgh center responded by taking a two-handed whack at Callahan’s down-belows. As Callahan’s reactions shows, he connected....