of Page 573 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your "A.J. Burnett Is Actually Starting A Playoff Game" Rangers-Yankees Open Thread
Burnett actually has pretty good career numbers against Texas's lineup. Of course, Burnett also used to be pretty good. One thing's for sure: the 2002 Niners-Giants Wild Card game on ESPN2 will get better ratings....

Vulcan Mascot's Decision To Light A Homecoming Float On Fire Was Highly Illogical
A California University of Pennsylvania—huh—student who plays the school's Vulcan mascot has been charged with setting fire to a homecoming parade float last Saturday....

Your "Baserunners Wearing Jackets!" Phillies-Giants Open Thread
It's a 1pm local start for San Franciscans; an excuse to mentally check out of work a little early for the rest of us. Use this space to marvel at Cody Ross's inevitable home runs....

America Explains Itself
We asked you, the fine television viewers of America, why you preferred a crap regular season football game to a great playoff baseball game. You responded, justifying your choice for four reasons....

Video: We Ask Jose Canseco About His Missing Chandeliers
Earlier today, I scuttled over to 8th and Broadway in Manhattan. The goal: ask Jose Canseco if he'd gotten his "chandeleers" back. Was it a success? Yes. Yes, it was. As much as anything involving Jose Canseco can be called a success....

Goddamnit It, America
You could have watched an exciting, important game, a tense changing of the guard of the best playoff pitchers ever. Or you could have watched Kerry Collins and Trent Edwards trade handoffs in a meanlingless AFC South contest. Guess which you chose....

Cliff Lee Dropping His Crotch On Brett Gardner's Head Seems Like A Metaphor Of Some Kind
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Perhaps The Yankees Could Use This Inspiration From The Late MC Freddy Sez
The Yankees are now down 2-1 in the ALCS. In August, Freddy Sez got to meet with Robinson Cano, and this gem of a moment was caught on tape. Skip to 1:35 for "a little rap that I made myself."...

Cody Ross’s Postseason Surge Offers Baseball Writers Their First Rodeo For Rodeo Puns
If you haven't already heard from Buck and McCarver that San Francisco's Cody Ross grew up with the dream of becoming a rodeo clown, these writers are here to hammer it into you with close, dull blows to the head....

Your "Will The AL Ever Have A Pitchers' Duel?" Rangers-Yankees Open Thread
Cliff Lee throws a perfect game every time out. Andy Pettitte can make the Hall of Fame with a win, says Reggie Jackson. Tonight we decide whether A.J. Burnett's game 4 loss will make the series 3-1 or 2-2. To the comments....

Here's Video Of A Baby Monkey Riding A Small Pig
No, it's not SnOOki caught on nannycam with a Juicehead Gorilla. Just nature's reenactment....

Baltimore Furry Commits Itself To Inspiring Marathoners
His name is Nate Sweeney. On days like today, when people run 26.2 miles through Baltimore, he dons a full-body tiger suit of synthetic fur and blasts Survivor....

Your "Where's John Wetteland?" Yankees-Rangers Open Thread
Noted Twitter personality C.J. Wilson toes the mound for Texas. Noted endomorph CC Sabathia counters for New York. It's a 7-game series for Cliff Lee's soul. Discuss it here....

Funbag Bonus: Did The Chilean Miners Masturbate?
The Chilean miners were all rescued, free now to breathe in air and have their medical benefits cut off three weeks from now. But screw that: Wuz they jackin' it?...

Lincecum-Halladay Billed As "Matchup For The Ages," A "Pitching Classic"
Elsewhere, A.J. Burnett hits two batters in a Yankees' simulation game. Here's your evening update on the NLCS/ALCS pitching rotations....

Horrible Spoof Video Faceoff: "Teach Me How To Bucky" vs. "Teach Me How To Duckie"
I can't even work up the energy to make snarky comments about either of these. I'll just leave them here, where hopefully, they'll never escape....

Raiders Still Making The Youth Of America Cry
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your "It's Tuesday, What Are You Going To Watch, Hockey?" Rangers-Rays Open Thread
This one's for all the marbles. Well, not the ALCS and WS marbles, those come later. But this is the first division series since 2005 to go the distance, so enjoy....

Giants Take NLDS, Fans Decide It's A Good Time To Cover "Don't Stop Believin'"
If sports movies and uplifting soft-rock songs make you tear up, this rendition of "Don't Stop Believin'" may get you all Favrey....

When The Mug Shot Says It All: George Maloof Arrested For DUI In His Driveway
The best thing about George Maloof's DUI arrest is that his mug shot is perhaps the exact mug you might imagine when you imagine a man named George Maloof. Eyebrows included....