of Page 609 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Sucker Punch Earns Slap On The Wrist, Critics Give League Knuckle Sandwich
Since Walker's one-man fight earned an instigator penalty in the final minutes of the game, he was automatically suspended for one game and his coach was fined $10,000 as mandated by league rules. Except the rule also allows the league to rescind that automatic suspension, which sort of the negates ...
Mark Cuban Had A Mother's Day Gift For Kenyon Martin's Mom
Dallas is playing what will probably be its final game of the season tonight, but all anyone really wants to know is what will go down between Mark Cuban, Kenyon Martin and Kenyon Martin's mom....
The L.A. Times Pens The Mother Of All Steroid Columns
Here it is, folks. Served up piping hot by Kurt Streeter in Sunday's Los Angeles Times — the platonic ideal of a steroid-outrage column....
Once Again, Amazing Happened For The Celtics
The parody videos of the NBA's goose-bumping "Where Amazing Happens" videos are phenomenal (Teen Wolf, Hoosiers, etc.) And when something legitimately amazing happens, thankfully, YouTube genius AndrewB cobbled one together immediately after last night's amazingness....
Just Give Your Car Keys To Aaron Brooks And He'll Park It For You
Either the Houston Rockets veterans had a little fun with Aaron Brooks this weekend or he forgot to bring his ventriloquist dummy to the post-game press conference....
Carmelo Anthony Hits Game-Winning Three, All Hell Breaks Loose
Chaos in Dallas last night as Melo hit a game winner, Mark Cuban passed on some Mother's Day greetings, and Josh Howard channeled his inner Hulk....
Yao Breaks His Foot, Done for the Year
The Houston Rockets announced yesterday evening that Yao Ming will be out for the rest of the playoffs with a hairline fracture in his left foot. Adjust your bets accordingly....
An Action-Packed Evening In Philadelphia With Exploding Faces And Slippery Chases
Cole Hamels finally gets a win. Werth hits a homer that smacks a lady in the face. A kid ran onto the field. At the end of it all — still first place. [The700Level]...
Alex Rodriguez Shuts Everyone Up In His Own Special Way
It's easy to get hyperbolic about Alex Rodriguez's three-run home run last night, but it's also tough to ignore the significance. Redemption began with the the first at-bat. It only took one pitch....
Orlando Is Trying To Ruin Everything
The Magic trounced the Celtics 117-96. Dwight Howard's shoulders had 17 points, 14 rebounds and 5 blocks. Magic lead Celtics 2-1.[ESPN]...
Lance Armstrong Turned Off By Sheryl Crow's Incessant Babymaking Demands
Yes, we know: You've been incontinent with suspense about what rent asunder the sacred ugly-bumping bond between four-hundred-time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow, the singer who had that song that time....
Reporter Sees Rat, Freaks Out In Exact Highly Amusing Way You'd Expect
The above video, featuring Comcast SportsNet's Capitals reporter Lisa Hillary suffering a highly entertaining, if ultimately non-life-threatening, heart-attack while being terrorized by a Verizon Center rat, represents our first exposure to playoff hockey in years....
Ron Artest Did Not Imagine That Stabbing Story
Some people doubted Ron Artest's table leg stabbing story, but I guess there's this thing called the Internet and some people actually did do the Google to find the truth....
Ron Artest Once Saw A Guy Get Stabbed In The Heart (UPDATE: For Real)
The NBA Playoffs are getting very chippy—even more so—but at least no one has been murdered on court with a broken table leg yet. Because Ron Artest would hate to see that happen....again....
How A Softball Almost Killed This Man's Foot
A good portion of Americans join softball leagues this time of the year. Many do it for the social aspect alone, which leaves many teams stockpiled with players who are ridiculously awful....
Bow Down Before Your New Mayor, Detroiters
Piston legend Dave Bing has been elected to serve the remainder of Kwame "Sex Text" Kilpatrick's term as Lord of The D. I hear he plans to move the city to Ontario. [Detroit News; photo]...
Walk Off Homer Disallowed By Premature Hand Slapping
It's one thing to be a stickler for the rules, it's another to be a stickler who protests a perfectly legit home run because of an obscure, pointless rule—and doesn't even read the rule right....
A-Rod's Book Is No "Marley And Me"
According to one NY Post reporter who appears to have gone to exactly four bookstores in the Manhattan area, the sales of "The Many Lives Of Alex Rodriguez" are a little slow. [NYP]...
Alex and Sid's Dueling Hat Tricks
The NHL got what it wanted—a Crosby/Ovechkin playoff showdown—and the first two games have lived up to the billing. If only they can find a way to make it last longer than two more games....