of Page 668 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Sex Shows With A Playoff Level Of Intensity
Craigslist.org is one of the most essential sites on the web during the NFL Playoffs. I remember last year, a young woman in Pittsburgh was looking for someone to dress up like Ben Roethlisberger and have sex with her. This year, for a couple of Eagles tickets, a couple of young female grad studen...
Jets vs. Patriots: 2nd Quarter
- 7-3 Patriots here... and I'm enjoying the Jim Mora Coors Light commercial for about the sixth time this weekend. This one's not getting old. Jim Mora is the anti-Mellencamp....
Jets vs. Patriots: 1st Quarter
- Hello... welcome back to another day of hot, nasty, NFL action. The Jets and Colts are a few minutes from kicking off. I don't know if I'm going to watch, though. Sundays are for bowling....
Cowboys vs. Seahawks: 4th Quarter
- The Cowboys are opening the quarter with a punt here. They're up by four with 15:00 to play. I would really love to see an exciting finish here. After that early game, frankly, I think we all deserve it....
Cowboys vs. Seahawks: 3rd Quarter
- The halftime show is over, mercifully bringing Jim Mora Jr.'s career as an analyst to an end. Cena was surprisingly gentle, by the way....
Cowboys vs. Seahawks: 2nd Quarter
- There are the Hasselbeck ladies. Obviously, they're pretty bundled up and it's hard to tell, but... I think Hasselbeck's mom might have a slight edge in that matchup. I can't make the call from here....
Cowboys vs. Seahawks: 1st Quarter
- The biggest reason I'm excited about this game is that it's the last I'll have to see this year of Jerome Bettis....
Chiefs vs. Colts: 4th Quarter
- Thanks to Tony Gonzalez and Trent Green's newfound testicles, the last fifteen minutes of this game might actually be worthwhile. The picture there is Larry Johnson's dad, and I thought we should probably feature him, as he's been as important to the outcome of this game as his son has....
Chiefs vs. Colts: 3rd Quarter
- It's halftime. The picture there to your right is Lawrence Tynes' field goal doinking off the post. Enjoy Jerome Bettis in the studio....
Chiefs vs. Colts: 2nd Quarter
- That's Julie Green again. Sorry... she made an impression. I just kind of assumed that Trent Green would be with someone who looked a little bit more matronly....
Chiefs vs. Colts: 1st Quarter
- Hello... welcome. That's Herm Edwards and Tony Dungy, and in case you didn't catch the NBC pregame show, they're friends. They really like each other. A lot....
Playoff Pants Party: Eagles Vs. Giants
Seriously, it has to be frustrating. The Eagles make their mad dash to win the division and grab the third playoff seed ... and they still have to play the goddamned Giants in the first round....
Playoff Pants Party: Patriots Vs. Jets
To think about this game, we like to compare not Eric Mangini and Bill Belichick, but, in fact, Mangini and Tom Brady. We think there might not be too physically different human beings on the planet. One of these days, Mangini should just eliminate the middleman and coach in a mumu....
Playoff Pants Party: Seahawks Vs. Cowboys
We didn't talk much about this, but the reason for our trip to Argentina? An attempt to further check out the genealogy of Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo. (Turns out he is not, in fact, Argentinian.) It's still pretty amazing that Romo is in the Pro Bowl; if the Cowboys lose this game, he's gonna l...
SHOTY Final: Chris Berman Vs. Barbaro
Well, while we were gone, the late rush of Barbaro votes came in, and he edged out Carl Monday right after the new year, sending him into the final with, of course, Chris Berman, who has yet to be challenged. We suspect he's in for one now....
Playoff Pants Party: Colts Vs. Chiefs
Because we're just now back and getting around to previewing these playoff matchups — jeez, we missed the whole playoff picture clearing up; we were gone longer than we realized — we thought we'd toss in one of these playoff previews today so the site isn't run over with them tomorrow....
Tubby Smith's Ineptitude Captured Through Majesty of Song
The delirious, one-track mind of University of Kentucky basketball fan "Katman", author of Tubby Smith bashing blog Dynasty Defenders, has reached a new level of absurdity thanks to this recently released "music" video which aims to spread the word of his deranged gospel via this YouTube masterpiec...
Nick Saban Brings Promise, Destruction to Alabama
Nick Saban and his presidential motorcade rolled into Tuscaloosa late yesterday afternoon may have startled gawking locals distracted by the big, fancy automobile rolling through town, as the Tuscaloosa News reports that "Saban's Motorcade Distracts Drivers":...
Good Morning: And Did You Rush to the Phone to Call?
Morning again, Spinheads. Let's start off our last few hours together by acknowledging some of the things I missed yesterday from the Department of Batshittery — only because I was too preoccupied with Song Girl pooper:...
K-Fed Will Totally Kick Your Ass, Bitches
When our chimp-like ancestors first descended from the trees and began walking upright about 6 million years ago, little did they know that it would lead to this. You should have warned us, Charles Darwin. Damn you to hell!...