off Page 309 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Whitney Cummings Makes That Pamela Anderson-Magic Johnson HIV Joke You've Been Waiting For
During the Comedy Central Roast of David Hasselhoff, comedienne Whitney Cummings took a shot at Pamela Anderson's penchant for sleeping with rock stars, imploring the former V.I.P. star to "drink a vat of Magic Johnson's blood"— because HIV/AIDS is hilllllllarious....
Circle of Life: When English Soccer Appears, American Beach Volleyball Disappears
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
The NFL's Hall Of Fame Enshrinement Speeches, AutoSummarized
For those who missed all the speechifying Saturday in Canton—during which Rickey Jackson made Emmitt Smith sound like Cicero, and Chris Berman spent 22 minutes committing what I'm certain were several felony counts of public masturbation—we offer a summary....
Bowlegged Floyd Little Gets to Canton
Jerry Rice and Emmitt Smith (and others) get their yellow jackets tonight. Travesty. What'd either of them ever accomplish?...
Yes, Michael Irvin's Had Sex In His Hall Of Fame Jacket
AND NOTHING ELSE. Now that you've got that mental image, here's the money quote....
Today In Dogs Raving Their Faces Off
Per YouTube user BlueBlazeful, "Like anyone at a rave, he's either really feeling the music, or he's got rabies." We don't know what kind of raves BlueBlazeful attends, but if there are techno loving dogs there, we want to go....
LBJ's South Beach Recession: 30 Jobs Lost
Back when the Three Kings were the rejuvenating rage, Miami Heat spokeswoman Lorrie-Ann Diaz said, "We couldn't get [the ticket-sales staff] to go home!'' Until Friday. When 30 of them were laid-off since there were no tickets left to sell....
The Birth And Death Of Big Air
ESPN's latest 30 for 30 documentary about BMX trailblazer Mat Hoffman may have been a well-timed PR play for the Summer X Games, but it was also a bone-crunching reminder of the deadly brutality of extreme obsession....
Sen. Jim Bunning, R-Pluto, Thinks Stephen Strasburg Is A Wuss
Bunning, onetime pitcher and current obstreperous shitbag, waggled his cane yesterday at young Strasburg: "Five-hundred twenty starts, I never refused the ball. What a joke!" Then he clutched his shoulder and cried, "My arm!" That was either sarcasm or thrombosis. [Politico, via]...
Wilderness Unsurprisingly Impedes Insane Wilderness Marathon
Eric Strabel was on pace to shatter the record of the Crow Pass Crossing wilderness marathon in the Chugach Mountain region of Alaska when a bear "surprised him on the trail." Then he got lost. Then a moose blocked the trail. The Crow Pass marathon is a 24-mile sprint through mountains and forest...
Armed Robbery Will Turn Stephen Jackson Into The NBA's Charles Bronson, Bobcats Beat Writer Thinks
The wife of Bobcats forward Stephen Jackson was held at gunpoint by home invaders, locked in a bathroom, and robbed in the couple's Charlotte home Wednesday. Trauma aside, she's fine. But don't tell that to Rick Bonnell of the Charlotte Observer....
In Which We Try To Class Up That Burger King Parking Lot Fight Video
Yesterday's fight video was so operatic in scale and intensity of emotion that we figured we'd give it the soundtrack it deserves....
When World Cup Third-Place Final Celebrations Go Wrong
Remember kids: buckle up for safety. Especially when your mate is a flash twat with a sensitive accelerator pedal....
Intern Horrors: Destroying A Bathroom At America's Crappiest Newspaper
Welcome to Intern Horrors, the weekly feature wherein interns and the people who exploit them write in to complain about each other (or confess their own sins). This week: befouling USA Today's bathrooms, our most boorish intern yet, and more....
Here's Video Of The U.S. Getting Jobbed By A Ref. Again.
This run by the U.S. in the 23rd minute resulted in yet another disallowed goal for the USMNT after Clint Dempsey's strike was called off on a questionable offsides call. Here's video proof that it was pretty much nonsense....
Celtics-Lakers Has Competitive Greatness Coming Out The Ass
Quietly, perhaps in a brief moment when floppy Derek Fisher wasn't butoh dancing for the refs, Celtics-Lakers became everything anyone could want in a basketball series....
Dustin Hoffman And Jason Bateman Smooch It Up On Staples Center Kiss Cam
Runaway Jury star Dustin Hoffman and Smokin' Aces thesp Jason Bateman sat beside each other at last night's game and appeared together on the kiss cam. Immediately afterwards, the Celtics fan behind them became violently ill on his common law wife. [DListed]...
Today In "Bryce Harper Is A No-Good Hothead"
Bryce Harper is good at baseball and he knows it. He has a reputation as a bit of a whippersnapper, though, and after getting ejected last night for making a gesture at an ump, that rep will continue to grow....
Like All Rich And Graying New York Icons, Keith Hernandez's Mustache Summers In The Hamptons
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Matt Barnes Tells All The Hos And Tricks What Is What
Matt Barnes got a little angry about...something and decided to take it out on his Twitter followers and anyone who is a fan of spelling and grammar. [JamesPoling.com]...