off Page 322 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Vancouver Blog Jinxes Canucks Early And Often
A Canucks blog is asking fans to submit their own user-generated Stanley Cup parade routes. Is there a route that takes them under the World's Largest Ladder? [The White Towel; via Puck Daddy]...

ESPN Headline Writers Are Witty Rapscallions
Well isn't that special. But in ESPN's defense, there's probably not a whole lot you can do with news like this. [ESPN]...

NHL Playoffs Operating With Deadly Efficiently
Boston brushed Montreal aside to complete their sweep last night and will see the second-round for the first time in 10 years. (Oh boy! More sports triumphs for Boston!) Meanwhile, we've already forgotten who the Canucks beat 4-0, Columbus neglected to set their alarm clocks for the Detroit series, ...

For Great Quality At A Low, Low Price, Come On Down During Aaron Curry Discount Days
Aaron Curry is shopping himself to the Lions via text message — which technically is SPAM — telling general manager Martin Mayhew he can be had for a song if he chooses him No. 1....

Yes, Hockey Does Have Buzzer-Beaters
After giving up a 3-goal lead, Carolina beats New Jersey on a slap shot with 0.2 seconds left in the game, which I guess is not a lot of time remaining.[NHL]...

Columbus Will Never Forget Its First Time
Down 0-2 to Detroit, the Blue Jackets host their first-ever home playoff game tonight and Puck Daddy has a tribute to other playoff virgins. Confused Buckeye fans are unsure what to burn. [Puck Daddy]...

Alexander Ovechkin Would Have Made A Lousy Cold War Spy
The Captials star was booted from the Rangers practice today "'because they're afraid of me,' he said with a smile." Really? Which of your first two home losses scared them the most? [NYPost]...

The Vancouver Canucks Have A Scouting Report On Your Wife
Here's another gem I missed from the first-round of the NHL playoffs. It seems that the Canucks are not only trouncing St. Louis on the ice, but they also lead in trash-talk opposition research....

NHL, NBA Playoffs Not Over Yet
How was your weekend? I had no access to the internet (or TV! The horror), but I trust that things around these parts were quiet and uneventful with little or no boat rocking whatsoever....

Sidney Crosby Gets The Philadelphia Salute; Deadspin Almost Falls Apart
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Open Thread: NBA Playoffs
Append your trenchant hoop analysis below. Possible topic for discussion: Hot hand — myth or no? [TrueHoop]...

Trailblazers, I Am Told, Are Often Misunderstood
Um so…did I mention I am also recovering from a sinus infection? How about a YouTube clip of children using obscene language?...

Sorry Guys, What He Said…
I thought it was sort of an upset when Cleveland beat out Detroit for the title of foreclosure capital of the Eastern Conference. This time though, not so much. And speaking of real estate…...

Chicago: Just Lucky? Or Something More Sinister?
The world probably believes it is witnessing what the sociologist Robert K. Merton calls a "self-fulfilling prophecy." But are we ignoring a blatant conflict-of-interest in the city that gave us Rod Blagojevich?...

Penguins Fans Are Not At All Desperate, Hard Up For Dates
For some of you ladies, your dream may be to marry a handsome millionaire in the Bahamas. For others, it may be a magical date with a Penguins fan on Dollar Night at Mellon Arena....

Bulls Game-Plan For One-Legged Garnett
"I'm not buying that," Bulls forward John Salmons said. "I'll believe that when I see it." [SI/ChicagoTribune]...

Someone Thinks That East Carolina Should Update Its Logo
The hunt is on for the rapscallion responsible for this: An update of East Carolina University's pirate logo. Yes, it may be time for all pirate-themed teams to turn in their swash, and their buckle....

Celtics Will Most Likely Be Garnett-less During Playoffs, Coach Says
Doc Rivers has Beantown in a panic after he hinted that Kevin Garnett's mangled knee will most likely keep him out of the playoffs. "I'm not optimistic," Rivers told WEEI....

Oh, Poor Lord Stanley Would Not Approve Of This
Puckheads around the world are all geeked out for the start of the NHL playoffs. And 850TheBuzz chose this interesting approach to fire up Carolina Hurricanes fans. You know, with implied coprophagia. Hockey!...