oh Page 325 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Former Basketball Player Runs For Congress, Crazily
Remember Kevin Millen? The ex-Georgetown hoopster who stalked coach John Thompson and ended up getting two years' probation and a court order to stay away from D.C.? He's running for Congress on a tin-foil-hat platform, with a delightfully lo-fi web site....
Michael Johnson Was "The Fastest Human Ever," According To Michael Johnson
A new BBC documentary about Usain Bolt—hosted by fellow sprinter Michael Johnson—adoringly mentions the man Bolt beat to claim the "fastest man alive" crown....Michael Johnson! Not mentioned: The one guy who was actually faster than Johnson....
Last Night's Winner: The Wizards, Somehow
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Wizards, who, despite long odds, left the annual Secaucus Bingo Night and Bad Suit Competition with the rights to try and not screw up John Wall....
And Your No. 1 NBA Draft Pick Goes To ... The Wizards
Sorry, John Wall. Washington leapfrogs four teams to get the No. 1 slot. My vague, unverifiable prediction: The Nets will be glad for this in the long run, I think....
Two Very Different Approaches To Honoring Your Contract
Houston's Andre Johnson wants to re-negotiate his seven-year contract that has five years remaining on it. Oguchi Onyewu wants to play for AC Milan so badly, he'll do it for free. Who is the dummy and who is the hero?...
Weekend Winner: The LeBron Combo
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like John Calipari, who is allegedly being shopped around as part of a package deal with James....
Stories That Could Have Been Written Three Months Ago: Nick Johnson's Injury May Require Surgery
Brian Cashman crossed his fingers and hoped Nick Johnson would last more than a month, but it appears right after the deal was signed Johnson walked under a ladder and broke a mirror in a room full of black cats. [NYT]...
Cleveland Luminaries Join Forces To Win LeBron's Heart Through Terrible Song (CARL MONDAY UPDATE)
UPDATE: Yeah, that's Carl Monday at the 1:57 mark....
Free Nohjay Nimpson!
We're down to the Elite Eight in the always-excellent Name Of The Year tournament. So go cast your vote to ensure that Nohjay Nimpson and God's Power Offor continue on. [NOTY]...
Eggheads Explain How To Take The Perfect Penalty
Football is all about physics, so, in many ways, Wayne Rooney isn't just a footballer, he's also a magnificent scientist. It is also, unfortunately, marred by biology — the most annoying of the sciences — from time to time....
This Sioux City Promotional Video Is So Awful, You'll Want To Move There Ironically
By gathering notable townsfolk for this Up With People-esque extravaganza (and by not paying any attention to Starship's lyrics), Sioux City's promo video has now supplanted Cleveland's as the most unintentionally hilarious instance of civic self-love. H/T @edsbs....
Miami University Had The Pukiest, Poopiest, Sexiest Spring Formal Ever
On April 9, 2010, Miami University's Pi Beta Phi fraternity for women held a spring formal at the quaint Lake Lyndsay Lodge in Hamilton, Ohio. The sloppy, slutty details of what transpired that boozy enchanted evening are tremendous....
Ex-Con Minor League Pitcher Enters Game, Throws/Grabs Junk, Is Will Ferrell
Will Ferrell made a promotional appearance last night at the Houston Astros' triple-A affiliate in Round Rock, Texas, playing a Venezuelan by the name of Rojo Johnson, fresh out of the clink after doing time for illegal iguana selling....
Private Stache: Magic The Gathering
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....
Perfect Gentlemen: My Lovely Night With Lawrence Taylor
This is a new series called "Perfect Gentlemen," wherein we feature stories from women (or men!) who've gone out on dates with professional athletes and had altogether positive experiences. Unfortunately, today's installment features Lawrence Taylor....
The Ohio State Continues The <em>Glee</em>-ification of America
Reader Dave sends in this video of a flash mob taking over the Ohio Union on Monday. When are people going to learn that extravagant, coordinated routines of obnoxious songs only belong on the NYC Subways?...
Gabrielle Union Got It On In Front Of Dwyane Wade's Kids
That's according to a lawsuit filed by Wade's estranged wife, which he calls "baseless." Because, c'mon, who hasn't had stepmom fantasies about Gabrielle Union? Wait, what was I talking about?...
Here's Another Selection From The Mystifyingly Popular Genre Of Funk-Based Sports Fight Songs
The Cincinnati sports scene and funk music go hand in hand like ... something you had no idea went hand in hand. After seeing the Notre Dame and Reds videos, reader Spencer sent along this Bootsy Collins ode to the 2005 Bengals....
9-Year-Old Beer-Drinking Hockey Players, aka Regular Canadians
A Saskatoon youth hockey team is under fire after posting a video showing the mites with open cans and bottles of beer. Little Pelle Lindbergh proceeded to drive his Big Wheel directly into a school. [Canwest]...
Drink Up, Pro Athletes: Kids Couldn't Care Less
Our good friend SCIENCE! is back, this time with a study that indicates that kids don't emulate or idolize their favorite athletes for their drinking habits. So, Roethlisberger, you're off the hook...oh, right, that other stuff... [Drug And Alcohol Review]...