oh Page 340 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jimmy Johnson: Smilin' Sonuvabitch On The Prowl
Okay, he's not really prowling. But JJ definitely does attract a certain type of woman. The type of woman you'll find at "JJ's Big Chill." [Don Chavez]...
Jets Sued For Manipulating Ticket Prices By Men Who Wanted Jets Tickets, For Some Reason
Three men are suing the Jets for manipulating seat-license prices in an auction. The plaintiffs would have an excellent case, I think, if their judgment and credibility weren't immediately called into question by the fact that they were trying to buy Jets seat licenses. In an auction....
'Whole Lot Of People Puckered Up' After Florida Steroid Bust, Says Comical Backwoods Sheriff
What happens when you mix steroid hysteria with two self-aggrandizing backwoods halfwits on either side of the law? This: "What investigators aren't sure of is whether Richard Thomas, 35, is telling the truth when he said ... he sold mostly to professional athletes," specifically those on the Capita...
College Kid Sleeps On Toilet Before Amazing Runs
College student Justin Weber didn't have a hotel room the night before running a big ten-mile race, so he slept in a port-a-john. Then he won the race in the morning. I don't know about you, but I think that story is a bunch of crap. [The Jock Itch]...
The Cavaliers Have A Couple Of Things On Their Mind
LeBron James is doing everything he possibly can to keep the Cavs in it and to stave off the possible Posnanski Curse that is now creeping up on the NBA's "best" team. Can Mike Brown save the Cavaliers from boobdom?...
The Evil Umpire: Who Once Called Pitches For Randy Johnson?
Tom Verducci wrote up Randy Johnson in last week's Sports Illustrated and included this odd — and oddly unnoticed — anecdote:...
Who Is Tiger's Turtle?
"The modern player's payroll invariably includes an agent, a caddie, a financial adviser and a swing instructor.... Agent Dennis Harrington predicts that gentlemen's gentlemen — valets — will be the next big thing." John Daly's not sold. [GolfWorld, Style Points]...
Hey, That's Not John Mayberry Sr.
John Mayberry Jr. hit his first career home run Saturday, and the Fox crew in Yankee Stadium quickly honed in on his father, former MLB player John Mayberry Sr. Only problem: It wasn't him. Ay, there's the rub. (Also, A-Rod homered and the Yankees won, spoiling the Mayberrys' day.) [Bats]...
Where Does PETA Get Off Humiliating Michael Vick?
DeAngelo Hall on Vick: "I mean, he's definitely been humiliated. I think he should have [gotten] suspended, then he should have had to pay a big fine. That's what PETA wants anyway, is money, so he should have had to pay them money." [D.C. Sports Bog]...
March Of The Cohn Heads
My ex-girlfriend, Linda Cohn, has started a new personal blog for her fans. There are lots of photos, words, etc.. And Cohn Heads. Plenty of Cohn Heads. [Linda Cohn Fan Club]...
Pirates Tour White House, For Some Reason; Skipper Pulls A Reverse Harrison
"Pirates' manager John Russell skipped the tour saying he'd rather visit when he has a World Series ring on his finger." [KDKA]...
John Calipari Wins At Wall Ball
John Wall, the most talked about basketball recruit in the country, will join Calipari at Kentucky. Enjoy what little time you have left with him, Wildcat fans. [Rush The Court]...
The Happy Youngster Lurks Among Us...
Or did. Once. When the story was about him. [Deadspin]...
Jinxing Clayton Kershaw
Clayton Kershaw no-hitting Marlins... (UPDATE: oops.)[SI]...
John Lackey's Two-Pitch Debut Was Inspiring
What's with pitchers throwing at Ian Kinsler? First it was Bobby Jenks' $750 high heat, and now Angels' starter John Lackey decided the Rangers' second baseman needed a good plunking....
NFL Recognizes Chad Johnson's Name Change, With Unsurprising Annoying Bureaucratic Twist
The good news for Johnson: the NFL will let him wear his new name on his jersey this year. The bad news? Because of some careless form-filling, it won't appear quite as he'd like....
Requiem For The Pimlico Beer Gauntlet
The 134th Preakness Stakes will take place on Saturday afternoon, but a tradition even older than that has sadly seen its last running—Pimlico Race Course has ended its BYOB infield policy....
Victim Of Jose Offerman's Bat Rage Not Doing So Well
Two years ago, John Nathans wound up on the wrong end of Jose Offerman's bat. And now? The Boston Globe finds him, oh this is sad, getting rubber balls bounced off his face....
John Tesh Offers You $20K To Rap-Dribble-And Dance Your Way To Total Humiliation
And you'd also like the chance for your equally inept rhyming abilities to earn you exciting cash and prizes? Yeah, we can hook you up with that. Please wear a helmet before viewing to ensure the mess from your brain's imminent, messy explosion doesn't stain the wallpaper. And we'll even get you sta...
Johnny Damon Shows The Yankees How It's Done
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...