old Page 209 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Happy Championship Sunday!
Ladies and gentlemen, start your countdown. We're now just eight hours away from kickoff in the first game of the NFL's Championship Sunday. Things get underway at 3 pm eastern when San Diego will call the toss in Foxborough, and with any luck the game will still be competitive at 3:30. Once that's ...

About Last Night
What you missed while dumping Serena Williams ... • Sir Edmund Hillary dies at 88, will have ashes scattered atop Pamela Anderson. • Pistons fail in bid to lose third straight game. Detroit 90, San Antonio 80. • College basketball: That game you couldn't stay up for ended just a few minutes ago. Was...

Len Pasquarelli Has Some Words For Anyone Else Who Dares "Report"
Almost anyone who has ever dealt with ESPN's Len Pasquarelli tells us he's kind of a dick. And by "kind of a dick," we mean, "actively chewing the heads off kittens while he's speaking to you." You can add Portfolio magazine's Jeff Bercovici to that list....

Golden State Of Awesome
The NBA Closer is written by our Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or mastering "Vasoline" in Rock Band, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast....

Salvaging The Massacre In Mobile
Poor Illinois. Poor Hawaii. You folks think you can fathom utter and total humiliation in a January bowl game? Because when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your alma mater's football team, you'll know what to do!...

Dirk Exorcizes Some Demons
The NBA Closer is written by our Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or wearing skinny ties, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy....

He Who Wears This Jersey Shall Be Filled With Sudden Rage
By now it's probably too late to order any gifts online. That's why in case I forgot anybody, I bought The Simpsons Movie DVD and kept it unwrapped. "Oh, I knew you wanted this so badly, I forewent wrapping it. That's how much I care!" But if that special someone is a baseball fan, maybe they can wa...

They Don't Snowboard In Bikinis, So Ratings Suffer
• 12 noon — NCAA Basketball: Georgetown at Memphis [ESPN] • 1:00 p.m. — Papajohns.com Bowl: Southern Miss vs. Cincinnati [ESPN2] • 1:00 p.m. — Movie: Planes, Trains And Automobiles [Comedy] • 2:00 p.m. — NCAA Basketball: UCLA at Michigan [CBS] • 2:30 p.m. — Movie: Goodfellas [Spike] • 3:00 p.m. — NC...

ESPN'S Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its wittiest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Overtime and Gambling Make Wonderful Bedfellows
Since there's way too much going on in the NFL for me to get caught up in wordy prose I'm going to switch it up to a bullet point format. It's creative, it's original, and nobody's ever done it before! • Why can't our country produce fifteen people capable of providing the play-by-play for football ...

Warriors Vs. Road Warriors
The NBA Closer is now written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy....

Don Imus Just Can't Quit You
If you prefer your radio hosts with faces like a 90-year-old saddle, then it's time to rejoice: Don Imus is back on the air! Was it really only eight months ago that the infamous "nappy-headed hos" comment about the Rutgers women's basketball team sent the nation into a tither? Well, he's back, on W...

It's The End Times, People!
Not sure exactly what's going on, but just to be sure that God isn't up to some sort of Armageddon-like shenanigans, if you need me I'll be in a sealed grotto at the zoo. The Warriors — whom I believe began the season 0-6 — trounced the Suns on Monday, but that's not the big news. The Knicks have no...

It's Important That You Know Bill Conlin's Compensation
We had a lot of fun with crotchety old Bill Conlin on Friday, but we had no idea how serious he was about this email business. Apparently, he's been firing off angry emails to random readers for weeks now....

Somebody Stop This Fight (But Don't, Please)
Hey, here was something that Isiah hadn't tried: On Monday, disgusted with what he said was a lack of effort, he threw his entire team out of practice. The results on Tuesday were sparkling, as visiting Golden State beat the Knicks 108-82. The wheels have flown off of this bus, folks, and they're dr...

The Woebegone Bay Area
This has been brought up before, but in the wake of this whole Barry Bonds business, it's worth mentioning: The San Francisco bay area is going through the worst stretch of sports news in recent memory. They're like the anti-Boston....

One Way To Get Tree-Sitters Down
You might remember the comedic goodness we unearthed when making fun of the Berkeley tree-sitters who were about to be overrun by rabid SEC football fans. Well, we figured we'd check in and see how those tree-sitters were doing. Turns out, not well....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after rooting for the Puck Ewes ... • College football: Toledo at Ball State. Showdown at Scheumann Stadium. [ESPN2] • College basketball: NIT Season Tip-Off, regional final, at Syracuse, N.Y.; NIT Season Tip-Off, regional final, at Columbus, Ohio. College basketball is officially here...