oman Page 24 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How To Hit On Girls In The Club (Or Not)
Let me get this out of the way: I love both going to the club (dancing and music are great!) and dudes (they're so cute!). But dudes absolutely ruin the club. There's a reason ladies often get in for free or cheap: Both dudes and non-dudes are happier when the dude ratio is lower. Just a small sampl...
And Now, Your Worst Failed Romantic Gestures
Back in eighth grade, I fell in love with a girl who didn't want anything to do with me, and the lovesickness got so bad that I played up the friend angle and called her every night, hoping and praying she would change her mind and want to hook up with me (NOPE). Anyway, I've told this story befo...
Column About Russell Westbrook Disappears, Comes Back With New Ending
The Oklahoman's Berry Tramel received the brunt of Russell Westbrook's ire when the point guard got surly on Friday night—Tramel is the one who Westbrook was addressing when he said, "I don't like you"—and this morning he published a column about the whole kerfuffle. Apparent technical issues made...
Roman Polak Messed Up By Slapshot To The Face
This is what Roman Polak looked like an hour after taking a slapshot to the face: kind of like he's the NHL's latest mumps victim, but then tried to cut the mumps out. He was just minding his own business in the first period of Wednesday night's game against the Capitals, pushing his man away from t...
The Internet Has A “Problem” Problem
Hey, you saw "Too Many Cooks," right? That batshit-insane, 11-minute Adult Swim video that lampoons the opening credits of old network sitcoms (or current Disney Channel sitcoms, if you've ever been forced to watch one)? It was funny, right? LOL THE '80S WERE SO DUMB. I know I enjoyed it. ...
Greg Schiano Cooks Bacon In "A Pile" Like Some Kind Of An Idiot
There's lots going on in the ridiculous lede of this Redempto-Matic MMQB story about hilarious football coaching failure Greg Schiano's post-NFL journey of self-discovery or whatever the hell....
WVU Football Players' Wrestling Matches Are More Fun Than <em>WWE Raw</em>
A group of West Virginia football players apparently hold WWE-style wrestling matches in their locker room. They're pretty good at selling moves!...
All Of The Points In The Raiders-Patriots Game Were Scored By "-Kowskis"
It was a big game for fans of Polish NFL players....
Dead Men Do Tell Tales, Apparently
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
Couple Making Out At LSU Game Take Tumble Down The Bleachers
These two didn't care about LSU football. Hell, they were so into each other that they didn't even care about gravity. But gravity won....
Marcus Stroman Narrowly Escapes Taking A Liner To The Face
As far as we know, Jays pitcher Marcus Stroman did not poop his pants after juuuust getting his face out of the way of this screaming line drive....
Anthony Brown Says USC Coach Called Him "All Types Of Fuck Words"
Earlier, we told you about former USC running back Anthony Brown, who quit the team very suddenly and then took to Instagram to accuse head coach Steve Sarkisian of being racist. TMZ has since gotten in touch with Brown, who provided them with some choice quotes....
<em>They Came Together</em>: The Second-Best Romantic Comedy Spoof Ever
I'm just a guy, sitting in front of a screen, asking it to make me laugh at beautiful, awkward, charming people who are falling in love. The romantic comedy can be a fine way to burn two hours, but it's a silly genre at heart, with its contrived meet-cutes and drawn-out misunderstandings, and also...
NFL Not Into "Super Bowl L," Will Abandon Roman Numerals For One Year
The NFL has announced that the 2016 Super Bowl, the fiftieth Super Bowl, will be branded as "Super Bowl 50" instead of the extremely dumb-looking "Super Bowl L." This is the first time that the NFL will abandon gladiatorial, perpetually-confusing Roman numerals since they were first used for Super B...
What <em>Louie</em>'s Fat-Girls Tirade Got Wrong About The Dudes Who Love Them
As you are probably aware by now, "BBW" means "big beautiful woman." I know: patronizing, annoying to say out loud (bee-bee-dubbleyew), sometimes confused with Bath and Body Works. But nonetheless, this is the three-letter PIN that you would Google (or Craigslist, or OKCupid) in order to find a fat ...
The Kevin Durant Backlash Has Begun, And It's Stupid
This is the cover of a section in today's Oklahoman, a newspaper which just took a chainsaw to the idea that smaller cities are more loyal and forgiving than the big ones. Shots fired, as they say....
In 10 Minutes, ESPN's Bomani Jones Lays Waste To The Sterling Issue
I could delve deeper into some of the points Bomani Jones made yesterday on the Dan Le Batard Show, about how fundamentally silly this whole Donald Sterling affair sounds when you really listen to what's being said, about how exasperating it is for those of us who see the everyday effects of race to...
Holy Shit, The Marlins And Braves Cannot Stop Striking Each Other Out
Remember last night, when the Atlanta Braves and Miami Marlins combined to strike out 28 times, a thing that had never before occurred in the modern era? Well, those crazy free-swingers went and did the exact same thing today, and they didn't even need a full nine innings to do it this time. ...
1,747-Year-Old Wrestling Match Was Fixed
Neat stuff here: Researchers have translated a document from the Roman Empire, and discovered that it's a contract agreed to by two teenage wrestlers before their big match, stipulating that one would be paid to take a dive. Wrestling might be the world's oldest sport, but match-fixing appears to be...
<em>Nymphomaniac</em> Has Repulsive Hardcore Sex And Is Made By A Crazy Man. It's Great.
Every Lars von Trier movie, deep down, is about how depressed Lars von Trier is and how much Lars von Trier hates himself, which is another reason it's amazing how gleefully deranged and entertaining each of his movies keeps turning out to be. He is the world's strangest guilt artist. He keeps findi...