omer Page 27 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Harvey Updyke, Alleged Tree Poisoner, Is Living In His Car In The Woods
After three lawyers assigned to the case bowed out for various personal reasons, a man in Alabama has finally agreed to take on the case of Harvey Updyke, the former state trooper who allegedly poisoned Auburn's oak trees at Toomer's Corner. The lucky attorney, Glennon Threatt, Jr., went on the Paul...
Tree-Poisoner's Lawyer Wants Off The Case Because He's An Auburn Fan
Time once again to play everybody's favorite game! SEC Fans: Big Children or Biggest Children? As a volunteer militia puts Alabama's Bear Bryant statue under 24-hour guard for fear of retaliation, the state gears up for its biggest trial since Atticus Finch defended Tom Robinson....
Let Us Begin Our All-Night Tree Vigil For The Oaks At Toomer's Corner
The trees are cloaked in their customary strips of toilet paper, and a man from Dadeville who named his kids "Bear" and "Crimson" awaits justice. At College Street and Magnolia Avenue in Auburn this evening, Tiger fans mourn the loss of their beloved oak trees. The sites seem to be having a bit of d...
'Bama Fan Who May Have Been A State Trooper Charged with Poisoning Auburn's Trees
Harvey Almorn Updyke, a 62 year-old from Dadeville, Ala., has been arrested for poisoning the beloved oak trees at Aurburn's Toomer's Corner. Updyke, according to his Facebook profile, is a retired Texas State Trooper and a dedicated 'Bama fan (note the patterned hat; he also has a Facebook friend n...
Pour One Out For Auburn's Trees Tonight
Toomer's Corner, the spiritual heart of Auburn's campus and the destination spot to celebrate wins, was poisoned with a "very lethal dose" herbicide. Naturally, the perpetrator bragged about it on Finebaum's show. People have heart attacks. People admit to tree-killing. These are things that happen ...
"You Guys Are Little Bitches," Said Amani Toomer To His Roller-Hockey Opponents
A brief story about the former Giants wide receiver and his roller-hockey league (!) in Wallington, N.J., courtesy a twice-forwarded email....
Metrodome Roof Collapsed, Just Like The Dreams Of The Vikings Fans It Shelters (Updated With New Picture And Interior Video)
A 20-inch snowstorm damaged a pair of panels on the roof of the Metrodome overnight, so the dome was intentionally deflated this morning....
CBS Football Experts Were 3-61 In Pick'em Last Week
Marino. Esiason. Sharpe. Cowher. Football legends all. They managed to compile a mathematically improbable record picking games last week. I think Paul the Octopus could do better, and he's dead. [CBS Sports, h/t Nathan] UPDATE:...
Orlando High-School Football Bullying Just Got Real
Darrion Denson, 15, played on Orlando's Dr. Phillips High School football team until September. That's when six students got misdemeanor charges for an locker-room attack to which Darrion's mother responded by driving her car onto the field....
Name That Mascot Dong!
In unveiling their second mascot "Boomer" on Wednesday, the Columbus Blue Jackets called him "a kid-friendly, cushy cannon character with a friendly face and fluffy moustache reminiscent of a Civil War-era general." [BlueJackets.nhl.com]...
Death Row Inmate's Last Words: "Boomer Sooner"
Jeffrey Landrigan was put to death last night, but not before saluting his favorite football team. He's not an OU grad though; like most Sooners fans, he never went to college. Hope his pen pals aren't still waiting for replies. [Arizona Republic]...
Here's Ted Williams Talking About His Final Home Run
Updike, Schmupdike. Here's The Splendid Splinter in his own words, talking about his last home run, how he knew it was going to happen, and depriving the fans of the hat tip they wanted oh so much....
Stories That Don't Suck: The NFL's Angry Liberal
From time to time, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: Dave Meggyesy, linebacker, author, poisoner of our young youth, union man....
Dodgers Fan Takes a Dinger to the Dome
What happens when you don't listen to the guy screaming, "Heads up! Heads up!" in the line of batting practice fire? This......
Furry Tries To Legally Change His Name To "Boomer The Dog"
Gary Guy Mathews. A perfectly good name. But Mr. Mathews wants to officially be known as Boomer the Dog, to go along with his homemade fursuit....
David Ortiz Swears In Spanish During Home Run Derby, Announcers Hilariously Mistranslate
During his first round of derbying, David Ortiz took a break to wipe himself down and sip some of Rafael Soriano's Gatorade. Then he said "pussy" in Spanish, and Berman and Joe Morgan thought he meant something else. Let's break it down....
Last Night's Winner: People With Functioning Mute Buttons
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Home Run Derby viewers who mercifully put Chris Berman on mute and didn't hear him say "backbackback" all night. For you, we've made this little video....
Here's Something That Will Make You Cry If You Are A Big Hairy Sap: John McDonald's Father's Day Homer
What he thought after hitting a home run in his first at bat after his dad's death: "Probably the fact that I couldn't call my dad after the game to tell him." FUCK, I'M BAWLING. [BigLeagueStew] [Via MLB.com]...
Aural Secs: David Ortiz's 30-Second Tater Trot Explained With Music
In honor of David Ortiz's Roger Bannister moment last night, an Aural Secs is in order. Unlike frequent Aural Secs subject Usain Bolt, Ortiz is quite slow, so we're going with the final chord in "A Day In The Life."...
Introducing The Sports Phella, Phil Simmons
Bill Simmons was nice enough to Tweet-lert everyone of ABCNews.com's captioning gaffe but we all know it was just to prove he gets invited to parties/smokes up with Ricky Williams. Click 'n' embiggen. [@sportsguy33]...