on Page 5831 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Guilty Verdict For Luring Bear With Pic-A-Nic Basket
A Pennsylvania man was fined $6800 for illegally using donuts to bait and kill a 700-lb. black bear last year. He'll also lose his hunting permit for three years, plenty of time to think about his Boo-Boo. [Post-Gazette]...

Touchdown Jesus Wept: Notre Dame's Promo Video Is Funky, Awful
Notre Dame, a small Bible school with one of sports' more offensive nicknames, has decided to promote its athletic program by channeling Parliament-Funkadelic. The echoes just woke up and would like Notre Dame to please keep that awful racket down. [MSF]...

Brett Favre's Selfishness Has No Offseason
So now Favre says that if he plays again, he'll have to get ankle surgery first. A simple prognosis, yet he manages to shit on both Vikings and Packers fans with it....

Santonio Holmes, Not Pittsburgh's Problem Anymore
Holmes was removed from an airplane in Pittsburgh last night for refusing to turn off his iPod upon landing. It doesn't bode well when your new acquisition doesn't wait until his suspension begins to get in trouble again. [WPXI]...

Cockblocked By Luke Walton! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase six heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Ridiculous Diamondbacks Boycott Rolls On
Because some people think a certain Arizona immigration bill is a very bad thing, many of those same people are taking it out on the Arizona Diamondbacks, threatening a boycott. This is, pardon my French, retarded....

Last Night's Winner: The Emergence Of George Hill (As A Professional Basketball Player)
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Spurs' point guard George Hill, who helped the rickety San Antonio Spurs topple the Dallas Mavericks in six ref-marred games....

The Commodification Of Tiger Woods's Whoring Continues Apace
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Seattleites Find Bango The Buck's Ladder Stunt A Bit Derivative
Two-plus years ago, Squatch, ex-Seattle Supersonics mascot, pulled off the same stunt that has made Bango the Buck a minor celebrity — off an even-higher ladder. It's so like Seattle to point out they've been doing something longer....

Meet The Flamethrowin', Free-Swingin' <em>2</em>-Year-Old
Reader Jay or Jason (he sent two emails) has a boy named Jake. Jake's here to push all those other kids out of the way. Jake is 2 years old. Let's go for broke. Where the 1-year-olds at?...

In Which We Stumble Into An Interview With Mr. Skin, Father Of 3-Year-Old Phenom Beau
Two days ago, Deadspin's little-kid baseball scouting service brought you video of 3-year-old Beau. Shortly after our post, we learned that the man playing ball with Beau was his father, Jim McBride. You might know him as Mr. Skin (NSFW)....

Today In Wacky Reportage: How To Slightly Annoy Hockey Players
Whenever the Blackhawks score a goal at home, the Fratellis' "Chelsea Dagger" blares over the loudspeakers. A plucky reporter played it to several Canucks in an attempt either to psych them out or to recreate a moment from a terrible ABC sitcom. ...

PGA Players On Tiger's Steroids, Tiger's Women, Plus Some Other Golf Stuff
A quarter of pros think Woods used PEDs. Eight percent knew what he was up to before his Thanksgiving night crash. Ninety percent of you won't click through to the full survey, now that you know the juicy stuff. [SI]...

Mindy McCready's Forbidden, Goofy Love For Roger Clemens
Her lawyers say she was too whacked out to realize she signed-off on "Baseball Mistress (NSFW)", but, nonetheless, I still find her woozy interview about her puppy love with Roger Clemens mesmerizing....

Barcelona Turn On Sprinklers To Dampen Inter Celebrations
Of course, the law dictates that you can't just shoot people in the face for getting on your nerves any more......

Drew Brees, <em>Times-Picayune</em> Leave The Yard In Entirely Different Ways
"A packed house at Zephyr Field learned two things Wednesday night. One, that child sexual abuse is a big problem, and two, that New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees can smack home runs from either side of the plate." [Times-Picayune; related]...

The Bitch Slap Heard 'Round The Bleachers
When they're not humping each other in bathrooms or throwing beer or being sorta racist, the denizens of Wrigley Field are apparently slapping each other in the face. Except they're being sorta racist then, too....

First Career Home Run Goes Right Through Dad's Car Window
Shane Trevino got a rare trifecta: he hit his first high school home run, probably got his father fired, and made his dad take off his belt, all with one swing of the bat....

What Is The Absolute Worst Movie Death To Suffer?
The first round of the NBA playoffs is almost over. ONLY THREE WEEKS LEFT UNTIL ROUND 2! Anyway, this is just about the time of the season where I start paying attention and stuff. And while my basketball knowledge is essentially a blank Aqua Doodle, there is one thing I wanted to mention about LeBr...

Wince-Inducing Story Of The Day: Miguel Olivo Has A Urethra Of Steel
The Rockies catcher passed a kidney stone during a recent game against the Diamondbacks, then he threw his gear back on and later singled. "I can handle pain a little bit," he said. "Let's play baseball." [Last Angry Fan]...