on Page 5854 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

BREAKING: Top NFL Draft Picks Make Too Much Money
"Although the value of players declines throughout the draft, quality declines more slowly than compensation ... the first pick in the draft is, on average, the least valuable in the entire first round." [NY Times, via NPR]...

Baseball Will Save Us Now: Opening Day, Opening Thread (Video Updates)
Today should be a national holiday, but most American workers are left attempting to follow the Real Opening Day from their sad, sad cubicles. Commiserate with your fellow wage slaves here. Afternoon baseball schedule below. (Update: Heyward/Buerhle highlights.)...

Andray Blatche Really, Really Wanted That Triple-Double
We like to think players are so caught up in the game that they don't notice when they're approaching a statistical accomplishment. It's not true. Here's Andray Blatche doing everything humanly possible to get his 10th rebound....

Sania Mirza, Telephone Weddings, And The Weirdest Love Triangle Ever
Mirza is India's biggest tennis star. So her engagement to a Pakistani cricketer makes them basically the Tom and Gisele of the subcontinent. There's a small problem: he might have already legally married another woman — over the phone....

Joe DiMaggio Was A Wuss, And Other Things We Don't Tell Our Kids
Slate compares children's books about ballplayers ("Like many ballplayers, Joe enlisted to fight for his country in 1942") to the biographies written for adults ("[W]hen he concluded that he'd have to enlist … he started to cry"). [Slate]...

Coach K, Summed Up In One Smarmy Quote
You know what Mike Krzyzewski loves about a Butler-Duke national championship? I mean, besides that it's fetish porn for the Playing Basketball The Right Way crowd? What Mike Krzyzewski really loves about Butler-Duke is the game's delicious elitism....

Donovan McNabb Wins The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Redskins quarterback (wow) Donovan McNabb, who stole a busy weekend show when he suddenly turned the tables on Philadelphia and became Bizarro Brett Favre....

Welcome To Baseball Season!
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Finally, Spring
Okay, I get it. Opening day should be a weekday afternoon, not a made-for-TV night game. And fans of 28 teams could care less about tonight's game. But still, what are you going to do — watch women's college basketball?...

Blind Driving: Unlikely To Become The Next Paralympic Sport
A Turkish pop star set a world record for the fastest blind driver, going 180mph. He would have gone faster, but the pedestrians stuck on his grille probably increased the wind resistance. [Reuters]...

Islander Fan Wins A Car By Shooting Better Than The Islanders
It's the equivalent of the half court shot: sliding a puck from the opposite blue line through a precisely puck-sized hole in front of the goal. For the first time we can remember, someone actually made the shot....

Hold Off On The Gay Panic After Kanyon's Suicide
Yes, former WCW star Chris Kanyon was found dead yesterday. Yes, it was probably suicide. And yes, he might have been gay. But let's not overstate the importance of that last one....

Everybody Aboard The Royals Express
Now you can own the bus that spent the last 20 years shuttling literally tens of Royals fans to Kauffman Stadium. They've steam-cleaned the interior, but they can't quite get rid of the smell of failure. [eBay]...

When You Lose The Ball In The Sun, Who Can You Sue?
You can't sue the sun itself, and Amun-Ra has no standing in court. So a 53-year-old slow-pitch softball player who got busted in the face is suing the owner of the diamond....

Bernard Hopkins Has Strange Taste In Music
Wondering why Hopkins entered the ring with a children's clothing CEO singing a customized version of "My Way?" We've read the explanation, and we're still wondering. [NYDN]...

Watch Andrew Bogut's Arm Turn Into Spaghetti
Want to break a young player of the nasty habit of hanging on the rim after a dunk? Just show them this gruesome video of Bogut absolutely destroying his arm last night....

Some Losses Are More Painful Than Others
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The School That Gave Dick Nixon A Law Degree Vs. Burnt Couch U: Your Duke-WVU Open Thread
Go read Jason Zengerle's defense of Bob Huggins and Will Blythe's account of meeting Coach K. Discuss in the comments....

A Miracle For Easter Weekend: The Resurrection Of The Gus Johnson Soundboard
Fret not, weary reader. Be lulled to sleep by Jim Nantz no more. Gusgasm until you can Gusgasm no more. Rise and fire, friends. Rise and fire, forever. [Gus Johnson Sound Board]...

Chitwood Vs. Jemele Hill: Your Butler vs. Michigan State Open Thread
Can those streetwise Butler ballers continue their mid-major march to glory? Or is beach-combing Tom Izzo, Greatest Coach In The History Of HIstory, powerful? Settle it in the comments. (Photo:MLive)...